My retired mum has run out of money at 63!!!!!!

[Lilu1660]

I don't know where to turn to and not managed to tell my SO yet but my mum has told me that she and my dad have no savings left and cant pay their rent or bills this month or for the foreseeable.

My dad is in his mid 70s and works when he can plus has his state pension but my mum retired 10 years ago when she was 50 (she's quite a bit younger than my dad) and is now saying that they have spent all their nest egg. They don't have any assets as they lost their house years ago as they were on an interest only mortgage. They got to keep the market increase in the houses value when they sold so I assumed with that money plus my mum's two private pensions that she had figured out she had enough to retire. My dad has never been good with money and has never saved for his retirement but his plan was to keep working.

My dad has had a recent health scare and has been unable to work for a few months which lead to my mum calling me yesterday saying they have no money, cant pay their rent and they are now getting bank charges and could I take on some of the financial burden. I am an only child so have no siblings to help but I have two kids of my own, a mortgage that is due to double in a few months because of the rising interest rates and my outgoings are spiralling out of control with rising living costs...we are barely scraping by as it is...and its only due to get worse.

I suggested maybe she go back to work (she is totally fit and healthy) but she told me I was being 'cruel' and 'unhelpful' and she wishes she belonged to a community where children took care of their elderly parents. She has not answered my calls or texts since.
I don't understand what her long term plan is? I have a very strained relationship with my parents due to having endured a pretty poor childhood and we don't really talk or communicate very often so they have never been open with me about their finances or life plan.

My mum is my biggest worry. She is only 63! She could conceivably live until her 90s. I cant wrap my head around the fact that her retirement plan seems to have been constantly dipping in to dwindling savings whilst relying on a man in his mid 70s to pay the rent and bills. And now that he cant work, is her plan to now put that financial pressure on to me? Or worse, to come and live with us for the next 20-30 years? We don't have a good relationship so I cant see how she would ever have thought that would be her life plan.

I am now worried sick about how they are going to survive paying rent, spiralling bills etc but I don't feel its the right thing to do to help them. If I help this month what about next month? And next year? And the next 20 years?

If I were to help them in any way short / long term it would be a drop in the ocean compared to what they need to cover themselves every month (their rent alone is £2k a month) and would negatively impact my own financial safety and that of my children's. I feel utterly torn and lost and just cant believe their stupidity and not planning for / seeing this coming!

Is anyone else out there dealing with this?? Or does anyone have any advice at all xxxx

You can help her, with advice, tell them to downsize , 2 grand a month is ludicrous, and she then need to get a job and they need to claim benefits inc housing benefit.

what a pair though.

Don't nail them out of their reckless financial decisions, they'll drag you down with them.
Not your decisions, not your consequences you've got enough of a challenge managing your own money and keeping a roof over your kids head.
If their grand plan was to burn through the lot then turn round and slap you with the bill to save them from themselves then they're the cruel ones.

She retired at 50!, what's your retirement age op??

Yep, that's more succinct.

She needs to apply for benefits. Although she may be expected to look for work as she is still technically working age. Haven't read through the whole thread but sounds like she is in a dream world. I can't believe she is doing this to you OP, this is of her own making.

Please don't start giving them money - they will bleed you dry and take you down with them. You need to be absolutely firm on this - say you can't afford it if you don't want to tell them the truth but please don't give them a penny. You could suggest an urgent plan of action:

Move - £2k a month is nonsense for a retired couple. If they have to move someone cheaper then so be it and how many people will help pay for their retirement.
Get a job. Ridiculous that she retired at 50 (I'm 49 and would love to retire but know I'll be working for another 10 years at least if I don't want to be in their situation).So now she'll have to suck it up and go back work.
Speak to Citizens advice bureau and find out what benefits they might be entitled to

And then walk away.

So angry about this for you op. Call her a scrounger

Not your responsibility.
They need to move to a cheaper rental pronto. Even in the south east they can halve that.
Don't be guilt-tripped into helping out financially. Their situation is entirely their doing.
They need advice - I suggest Citizen's Advice as a first port of call.
Your mum needs to get a job ASAP.
Until then she needs to register for Job Seeker's Allowance which will give her £74.40 per week while she attends interviews, until she secures a job.
They have been extremely reckless and now need to face up to the consequences. Not you.

Regarding working age, I suppose that is influenced by your frame of reference and own career choices. I work in HE and many people work well into their 70's and even 80's in well paid roles. This has shaped my idea of retirement age, though of course people laying bricks or stacking shelves or performing surgery may well not cope with working so long so need to plan for retirement early.

Is menopause anything to do with it? Noticed a PP said anecdotally they feel lots of women give up work in their 50's

She won't get JSA as the only type of JSA available now is contributions based and clearly she hasn't worked for years so won't qualify for that. They can try for Universal credit but really with husband's state pension and depending on the amounts of her private pension and what their LHA for their rent is they may not even qualify for much Universal credit if any.

Sorry, I don't have any advice but I can relate. My MIL decided she is "not able to work" at 52. She can't get any PIP or anything else because she is absolutely healthy and strong woman. She can't even claim UC because they'll ask her to work. I'll never understand how people can retire early if they don't have looooots of money in their accounts.

My friends mum is the same although she has just never worked since having kids.

She needs to get a job. I'm knocking on the door of 62, a single parent. My kids are now adults. I help them where I can with unexpected bills like car breakdown, always hive money for Xmas and birthdays. I would NEVER ask my kids for money. They don't ask me, I want to help. I have 4.5 years to retirement. Your mum must work!

*give money

@Babyroobs She has worked since she was 15 (OP's 2nd post tells us) and retired at 50 with two private pensions so it is likely that she has made 35 years of NI contributions which should qualify her for JSA and eventually the full state pension.

Don't give the any money!

Age UK have a really good section on benefits and have a way of contacting the local team for help and advice.

Sorry, I don't have any advice but I can relate. My MIL decided she is "not able to work" at 52. She can't get any PIP or anything else because she is absolutely healthy and strong woman. She can't even claim UC because they'll ask her to work. I'll never understand how people can retire early if they don't have looooots of money in their accounts.

I read an article about the "silver exodus", it's one reason we have such a tight job market now. The gov didn't expect it because a lot of people who come under that aren't financially better off so would have been expected to work longer.

@Babyroobs Sorry, just realised you're probably right as it says you need to have 'paid Class 1 National Insurance contributions, usually in the last 2 to 3 years'.

I’m 50 soon and have no intention of retiring any time soon!

£2000 a month rent, where do they live? They need to downsize and your mum needs to get a job. They need to take responsibility for themselves.

To claim new style JSA they only look at the past 2 years of contributions which she will not have. It does not matter whether she has 35 years prior to that it is only the last 2-3 years that count. The 35 years you are thinking of is for state pension.

I'm 50 next year, there's no way I could even consider retiring for another 16 years at least!
Your parents need to take some financial responsibility for the mess they're in.

Sorry cross post - yes it needs to be the last 2- 3 years unfortunately.

Elderly my arse

For someone aged 63 the school leaving age was 16, not 15.

It was raised in Sept 1972.

The mum would be 13 then.

Either the OP is mistaken or her mum has forgotten how old she was when she left school.

We wouldn't have been able to afford £2k pcm rent with 2 of us working and childcare bills done and dusted. It's £24k a year. Ridiculous.