What's the most wildly inappropriate thing to ever happen to you?

[badassbaby]

I'll start...
When I was 19 I was working as a waitress in a holiday hotel.
I was having a wild, incredibly exciting relationship with the hotel manager, who was a good 15 years older than me.
Guests would fill out feedback forms on the hotel.
One day my boss (Restaurant manager) called me into his office. He showed me a feedback form that stated the guests weren't able to get a proper nights sleep, due to incredibly load love making all night long from the room above them.
The restaurant manager then pointed out that the room in question was the hotel managers room (his boss)
I can't remember what I responded, but when I think about it now, what the hell was he thinking of?!? And why question me about it and not the hotel manager?
I had the arrogance of youth so of course carried on exactly as before 😂
So what's yours?

Went to live abroad for a year after graduating, so had just turned 21. Moved into a ground-floor flat, upstairs neighbours, a couple in their late 50s came to introduce themselves, if there's anything you need just shout etc. They seemed lovely - respectable, kind, helpful. They had grown-up children around my age. We would chat to each other a bit over the next few weeks if we met in the hallway, etc.

One day I was outside on the street waiting for a bus to go into town. The man of the couple appeared in his car and offered to give me a lift to save me waiting for the bus. I jumped in the car, at which point he did NOT drive into town but took the road OUT of town towards a deserted area of woodland, driving with one hand on my thigh and saying we'd take a little detour and it would be a great opportunity to get to know me better.

The only way I could think to get out of what now seemed a potentially life-threatening situation was to try to persuade him to drive me back into town instead, which thankfully he eventually did, at which point I got out of the car and told him that if he tried that again I'd be telling his wife everything. Naturally it was all my fault for being a foreign whore who had led him on. His very words.

My old cat had a habit of going awol, one day I saw him sat in the next door neighbours window (they'd also got a cat flap and he'd just let himself in)

A few weeks later he'd gone missing again, so I popped around to the neighbours house (terraced houses so we were very close together). My neighbours creepy boyfriend answered the door, I asked if him if there was any chance my cat had dropped by again, he said he wasn't downstairs, but he might be upstairs and do I want to come in and look for him myself.

Thankfully I just said no thanks, and scarpered.

Omg! This thread. I added to it at about 11 last night and have read the continued thread this morning as have the day off work.
im so upset with this and all the things women have gone through. I have thought of more and more but I think the worst was a man (older than 18, poss 20-22) offering me drink at a party when I was 15. I stupidly got drunk and he took me to the kitchen and fingered me so hard he broke my hymen (I believe as I bled really bad and it hurt) I tried to stop him but he was huge! I tied a jacket round me and got a lift home and never said a word. Spent the last 30 years blocking it all out but always wondered why I found close relations so difficult 😞

my daughters . They are young and I have always taught them no! I know all of this shit is unacceptable and I hope it can now be reported, stopped and men dont feel they can get away with it. Surely my girls won’t have it as bad as us in the 70/80/90s?

Back in the late 80s early 90s when I was only 16/17 I was with a friend out drinking on a Friday night down the park as we were underage to go to nightclubs. When we banged into three slightly older guys maybe 18 /19/20.When they ask us if we would like to come to one of their houses as it was getting cold ,at first we hesitated but as you do one of the boys is very cute so we went along. After a little while the guy I thought was cute more or less talked me into the bedroom. I was a bit hesitant
but also happy that someone this attractive finds me attractive I went into the bedroom you could say consenting to have sex with this guy after a period of time in the bedroom not sure if I enjoyed it or not this guy told me he has to go to the bathroom when I was lying there the door open which I thought was him coming back in, but something wasn’t the same after a period of time nothing was said we had sex again but It felt different again he got up to go to the toilet I just thought was a bit unusual and again after a period of time the door open and put I thought was him coming back again this time I knew there was something really different I just didn’t feel right didn’t feel so I got up ask him to stop got up from the bed put light on to realise that this person that was on top of me was one of the other guys I definitely did not I wouldn’t have agreed to have sex with and in hindsight when I went out to ask I realised that the first guy had tagged his friends to come in and have been coming in one after another
without my knowledge and had sex with me. I went away and on my way I called the police to report rape because I felt so embarrassed so used. I felt disgusted when the police came I gave them a statement explaining that I believed I had been raped. The police more or less blamed me. police have spoken to these guys but then come back and proceeded to make me feel like it was my fault and was willing and I can assure you there is no way I would’ve. What’s really sad is since that night I felt so disgusting I slid into drugs my life just saying was never in the same spent many years trying to get myselfBack to some normality but it’s hard when you see the guys who done this have all went on a local driving jobs driving for local authorities working for fire departments in the British Army these guys went on to create careers and have a great life great family life while they destroyed my family life and any future for my life I feel cheated out of 30 years while these guys create new families break up other families just get on with your life it’s really sad.

Good for you! 👏👏👏

That is truly awful - so sorry for you and your Mum 😔

@hairbear100 “ I didn't want to do it. He didn't force me but I somehow felt obliged.”

This!! So many of my teenaged sexual encounters felt like this, and of course, the self loathing perpetuated low self esteem leading to more situations.

I do remember one time, travelling back from London one night, I think I was about 18. A man ‘accidentally’ knocked me with his briefcase whilst I was crossing a road. He then followed me to the tube station and ‘apologised’ for the accident. Somehow he then persuaded me to go for a drink and said he was a photographer and showed me his portfolio. The pictures started off quite tame but then moved on to more pornographic shots. It was in the days before mobile phones, so I made an excuse to go to the pubs phone, rang my mum and told her exactly what train I would be getting. Thankfully this was in the days before date rape drugs were a thing. I stupidly gave the man my home phone number and he called a few days later offering to pay for a photo shoot. I declined and next time my mum gave him an earful and that was the end of it.

I hope for better for my daughter, though my sense is that make behaviour and entitlement is now much worse, though less hidden.

And why we should be allowed to have WOMEN ONLY SPACES!! 👍👍👍

I was after finishing a shift at work and was waiting at the bus stop. It's a fairly dodgy area but there's a police station right across the road so I generally feel safe enough. A guy approached me and asked "do you fancy some random sex". Now in my head he'd asked me for spare change as that's usually what I'd get approached for so I responded "hold on I'll check" before I registered what he'd actually said 😅. This was when restrictions were still fairly strict so I told him you do realise there's a pandemic who do you think that lines going to work on. He said "well it worked last night".

I’m embarrassed by my own naivety because I was early twenties, but this was a couple of decades ago.

I was one of only two passengers in a train carriage on my way home late at night. This man started to masturbate looking across the aisle at me the whole time but not saying a word. I was terrified. I jumped off at the station and ran. Told guards what happened and police were called. This man had crossed over to the other platform and wasn’t coming to the exit gates.

Incredibly, that’s not the awful part!

The police took me to the station. The man apparently came too after being spoken to. I was there for ages. I was asked to describe what had happened multiple times. I was asked to describe his penis. I was asked to draw a picture!! 😳 This was apparently to clarify the angle that I saw everything. I was in an adjacent seat across the aisle! It wasn’t complicated.

I now realise they were probably taking the piss and having a laugh at my expense. No one asked if I was ok. No charges. I was told there were no witnesses so nothing could be done. I was told I should be grateful because the man had volunteered to come to the station and he hadn’t need to. I went along with everything like a silly trusting fool. I’m still cross with myself to
this day.

It’s actually quite liberating to say all of that!

I honestly never expected the thread to take the direction it has.
I'm truly sorry for all you lovely ladies, and the horrendous experiences you've had.
However I do think telling our stories is cathartic, and I'm going to show this thread to my teenage dd, if it helps her with even one creepy man that will think she's fair game, then I'll be grateful.
What does stand out to me, having read every comment, is how we are abused but WE feel guilty sometimes.
Whether that's because we were young and inexperienced, or young and thoughtless, or terrified in the moment, I think that's the narrative that has to change.
And I say this as a very young girl, sexually abused by my father, and over 40 years later I still feel shame 😞

I think this thread should go in Classics so it doesn't fade away on the site. Women's voices should be heard. Always.

When I was 20 I worked in a supermarket on the cigarette stand. I had a customer who was very handsome and seemed very rich come in regularly and he would flirt with me and ask me out to which I would say no as I had a boyfriend . At the time I lived in a flat about 3 miles from my workplace. He didn't live in my area. One morning I jumped in my mini to go to work and it wouldn't start. He pulled up right next to my car and asks if I am having car trouble and would I like a lift to work. Not thinking and running late I jumped in his car and he took me in. On the way he asked me out again.

Looking back I always wonder now did he sabotage my car so he could do this. Never saw him again after this and realise now as older how dangerous it was getting in that car.

On the positive side, as a teen I worked in an industry with a lot of entitled men, and stupidly willing teenaged girls. There were some men who did their best to look out for me and my friend, and I thank them to this day. Rough calculation is that about 10% were the good guys and the rest were entitled predators.

Makes me wonder if it was the same guy. Mine was R. But sadly I reckon there were lots of predatory older men back then using their power as bosses to ask young women to do things like this. There probably are lots now too. At least this guy was relatively tame in his photos and never asked me to do worse. In a strange way I count myself fortunate that's all it was and that I had a chaperone to make sure.

Also got flashed and chased by a man in France down a dark country road. When I was 12 a man pulled up next to me in a car with his penis out . Got chased by a man down a lane aged 10. Age 8 used to play in Park and a man would stand behind the trees and calk us over. Used to walk past a telephone box everyday to school and ut would ring, we would pick it up and it would be a man making sexual remarks.. my friends brother used to grab me in the park and make me lay down and squeeze my breasts...I used to visit my friend aged 10 and her dad would ring the house and ask what underwear we were wearing....all the time it used to happen as a child. Thankfully nothing bad ever happened but the constant sexual harassment as a child ugh I look back now and it makes me feel sick

OMG this reminds me - I went on holiday to Turkey with my mum and step dad when I was 12. One of the waiters (who was 24 - my mum asked him) took a shine to me. One night I had to go back to the room to get something and I ended up walking past the hotel restaurant - he called me over and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach after he finished his shift at 9pm. I just blurted out that I go to bed at 8 (a lie) and ran off. After returning from the room I told my mum and step dad about it, in tears, and they found it hilarious 😞

Not me, but a friend with a "cool" mum as described above. I hung around at theirs a lot. Her sister had two male friends who were mid to late 20s. They came over plenty, one of them ended up being her sister's boyfriend. Sister was 14. Mum would go on about how nice they were. Not even sure they knew their full names, one of them had a nickname that was just the name of a piece of fruit(!?) and that's what they were known as. (Not banana, btw. Think even they knew that was too on the nose.)

I'm a middle aged academic in STEM and I do fieldwork in various tropical locations (I know, it's a hard life). Male colleague from another country and I were staying at a fancy hotel in the nearest city to the fieldwork location, we were the only ones in the hotel as other project staff were local or staying longer in less fancy hotels. Three of us went to a spa (local specialty) but could choose our own treatment. I chose a massage and the other woman chose a facial and the bloke leapt in with "oh I'll have a massage in the next booth", proceeded to moan and groan. He would also try and hug the women at every opportunity and just said "oh I'm very touchy feely", completely inappropriate in the culture, the other woman knew him for longer and said he used to have his teenage daughter sit on his lap to watch TV.
This guy came for a visit to my UK department and I was "out" unavoidably that day and warned a couple of junior female colleagues not to have coffee alone with him in their offices.

When I was 16, I was having a sleepover at my cousins house. She was 30 at the time and her partner was 40. We had a takeaway, played board games etc. My cousin said she was tired so she went up to bed. I was sleeping downstairs on the sofa so I started getting ready to sort the covers out when her partner asked if I wanted one more game of guess who. Because I got on well with him (and didn’t like saying no) I said yes. Not long after starting the game, he started staring at me. I was really confused so jokingly asked him why he was staring. He didn’t say anything, he just carried on staring then he looked down in the direction of his crotch. He kept looking up at me and then down at himself again. I looked at what he was looking at then noticed his penis was poking out of his dressing gown. I felt so awkward I pretended I didn’t see as I presumed he didn’t know and it was an accident. Then he asked me if I liked it. I just froze. He started laughing and asked for a kiss. I burst into tears and phoned my mum straight away. She picked me up and I told her what had happened. He denied it of course, and me and my cousin didn’t speak for a while as she didn’t believe me. A few months later she found out he was cheating on her and left him🤮

Agree.
The one thread you’d want the Daily Mail to pick up on, just to highlight to the population that all of this abhorrent stuff is ‘normal’ for females. I didn’t even share a tenth of my stories on my post. What stands out to me too is how many females in my mother’s generation permitted this behaviour towards their daughters. In fact, some almost proud. What were they taught as children? That we exist to please men?

I remember one time at 15, I was walking home from town in the middle of the day. I definitely looked younger than 15. A car with a probably 23/24 year old man driving kept going past me. Like 40 times. He proceeded to drive past my house for hours after. Instead of being horrified of someone stalking her daughter, mum saw it as a badge of honour. She was boasting to her friends for weeks after. Told me he was good looking and I should go and say hi. If someone did that to one of my daughters, I’d go out and turn their balls into earrings.

It's always the P.E teachers that are the creeps!

It's astonishing the sheer amount of them in just a short time!

When I was a teenager I used to go out jogging before school at around 6am. I would get men following me in vans, trying to get me to get in etc. I never told my parents.

When I was 14 I went on a PGL school trip and snogged one of the leaders at his request. He must have been early 20s.

When I was a student I had a job in a pizza takeaway. I had to bend down to get under the counter several times during my shift. Whenever this happened, the boss would whack me on the arse.

Early 20s, I lived in a shit town in northern France for a bit. I had to stop going jogging because I kept getting flashed at.

Luckily nothing like that happens now I am old and in my 40s.

I have read this thread with both a sickening feeling but a lot of familiarity. I don't know any of my friends who wouldn't have a similar experience. I grew up in the 90's and there are so many instances that I thought were 'low level' normal stuff but this thread has made me realise that even though I was raped by a cousin at 11, the sexual harassments and abuse I experienced as a teenage girl and adult woman has contributed to the trauma.

We read magazines and watched TV shows that encouraged us to be ladettes, to embrace our sexuality, drink pints and be 'equals', in work and school and parenting. They told us how to keep a man and how to please him sexually in bed. How we should look a certain way, keep our bodies, and hair and skin and clothes a certain way but also be hedonistic and 'free', not uptight or frigid as that wasn't cool. I feel like society knew exactly what it was doing. It wasn't about equality at all, it was about controlling a women's place and attitude whilst ensuring the real power stayed with males. It was the cruellest trick and now we are living with the fall out of men fatally harming women on a regular basis as they see us as 'less'.