What's the most wildly inappropriate thing to ever happen to you?

[badassbaby]

I'll start...
When I was 19 I was working as a waitress in a holiday hotel.
I was having a wild, incredibly exciting relationship with the hotel manager, who was a good 15 years older than me.
Guests would fill out feedback forms on the hotel.
One day my boss (Restaurant manager) called me into his office. He showed me a feedback form that stated the guests weren't able to get a proper nights sleep, due to incredibly load love making all night long from the room above them.
The restaurant manager then pointed out that the room in question was the hotel managers room (his boss)
I can't remember what I responded, but when I think about it now, what the hell was he thinking of?!? And why question me about it and not the hotel manager?
I had the arrogance of youth so of course carried on exactly as before 😂
So what's yours?

It really is very very scary how naive we were when younger and how men are literally just waiting to take advantage of that. I am already fearful for my 5 year old DD.

Mine not quite as bad as some of these, but I was in my early 20s, straight from uni, back living at home, very fresh-faced and naive... Had had many snogs, but no relationship and was a virgin. Was working for the police in an admin role, as part of this I had contact with many officers.

I was effectively groomed by one detective in his late 30s... I'll give him credit, he did put the work in for months.. Would continuously come and see me, massively flirted, would ring me in the evenings... Which then progressed to sex talk and then one work night out, ended up drunk at a colleague's house where he proceeded to have sex with me. Then pretty much dropped me. Actually asked me at one point, did I really think we could have a relationship when we were at such different stages of life...

The police was rife with older male officers like this. Even a very senior detective I knew in his 40s who, on the whole was a respectable, committed to his job, family man, on a Christmas work do actually gave an answer when someone asked him who he thought was most attractive out of myself and another young female. (The answer was me and I was actually flattered 🤢)

Another male detective in his early 40s (think there's a theme here) propositioned another early 20s female admin assistant at a work do and asked her to go back to the accommodation block with him...

Possibly an unpopular view! The Spice Girls - the ultimate con. Girl Power?!! A group of young girls, one of each ‘type’, produced and managed by men. The rebranding and commercialisation of ‘feminism’.

Thank you for this thread OP, I had a fairly good idea that this would be the way it would go. I'm torn between anger, grief and horror. All my best to the other women on this thread and all the other women in the world who experience and endure this shit.

I've not got much in the way of war stories, just the usual random gropes and comments. But the fear of this has blighted my life. I'm not unique in how I policed myself and now my daughters to try to keep ourselves safe. Women have to think twice about doing stuff that no man would give a thought to. Even when we're children, even when we're ill, even when we're pregnant, working, exercising, old, it's fucking relentless.

I don't wish to hijack the thread but a pp mentioned single sex spaces and how important they are. I agree and also single sex services and care particularly when we are vulnerable. Please, if you haven't already, follow this link and sign this petition and share it, get other people to sign it. I don't think I can link directly this will take you to a link on the MN petition page.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/petitions_noticeboard/4668426-petition-update-the-equality-act-to-make-clear-the-characteristic-sex-is-biological-sex

Again sorry for the hijack/derail.

I finished my GCSEs and I got a job in a local supermarket. I had turned 16 2 months earlier and worked full time as I had about 4 months before college started. Almost immediately my manager made a beeline for me. I felt so grown up. He was 30. We dated for 18 months, until he hit me because I spoke back to him in an argument. I left him that day and had a few more months before finishing college so was still working for him part time. One night we ended up at a friends get-together and we ended up staying over but there werent enough beds so I agreed to share with him. Fully clothed and back to back, both pretty sober. At some point in the night he asked me to sleep with him, I said no and he cried, then he relieved himself on the bed. Then slept in it. Looking back I have no idea why I didnt walk away, I was stunned and didn't want to disturb friends or explain and cause a scene. I soon moved away for uni and didn't see or speak to him for many many years. Looking back now though it makes my skin crawl. Im now in my 40s so he is in his late 50s. After me he didnt really have another relationship (we had mutual friends) until around 5 years ago he married a devout Christian and they now go on Church retreats and he puts religious mantras on his facebook. Shes only 2 years younger than him and no children involved (he always wanted children so I don't know what circumstances have changed).

Having been a teen in the 80s i have a list as long as your arm, as i am sure most of us do. Having spent over 2 decades with the military, i know most men if they think they can get away with it are sleazy. I sometimes wonder why any of us women bother with men.

At the start of uni I used to work in a pizza place, I finished a shift late at night and was waiting at a bus stop (in my uniform). There was no one around and a man came and sat next to me. He started asking me how much for sex, how much for a blow job etc. he wouldn’t leave me alone. He then put his arm around me and started rubbing my leg. I was sure I was going to be dragged off somewhere and assaulted. Somehow I got the courage to wriggle free and I ran… there was a shop nearby and the door was locked but the lights were on (worker inside) so I banged on the door until they let me in and they called me a taxi. It was the most terrifying night of my life. I remember telling my mum and boyfriend after (separately) and neither batting an eyelid. I felt so alone.

Signed. Thank you for sharing.

We read magazines and watched TV shows that encouraged us to be ladettes, to embrace our sexuality, drink pints and be 'equals', in work and school and parenting. They told us how to keep a man and how to please him sexually in bed. How we should look a certain way, keep our bodies, and hair and skin and clothes a certain way but also be hedonistic and 'free', not uptight or frigid as that wasn't cool. I feel like society knew exactly what it was doing. It wasn't about equality at all, it was about controlling a women's place and attitude whilst ensuring the real power stayed with males. It was the cruellest trick and now we are living with the fall out of men fatally harming women on a regular basis as they see us as 'less'

Agree- I stopped reading women's magazines when I was 21 (in 1996) as I saw even then how exploitative they were - just trying to make you feel insecure so you'd buy more clothes and beauty products, and be on a permanent diet. Everyone was so skinny in the 1990s. And I could well see all the laddish attitudes which proliferated and was really pissed off about that. Also being labelled a ladette for things I'd always done - watching and playing football and drinking pints since I started drinking alcohol.

Amidst all this sexism though I still grew up in the 80s and 90s with a great deal of self-belief and felt I was always the equal of a man, that nothing was closed off to me and absolute incredulity if anyone treated me otherwise.

How old were you if you don't mind me asking? It must be hard to look back on it now and think how predatory they were to do that. You poor thing, I hope they aren't teaching any more.

When I was about 9 or 10 ( mid 1970's) my parents sometimes bought friends back to our house from the local pub after closing time for more socialising and drinks .Any how one of them (and I don't think that he was a particular friend of my parents as he never came to the house at any other time.) Hard to say from my child's perspective how old he was but my guess is in his 40s. He would come upstairs into my bedroom whilst every else was down stairs and sit on my bed and talk to me about all sorts of things , strangely enough the painter John Constable, he even brought me some Constable prints for my wall. He would stay about 15 or 20 minutes and then go back down stairs again. He would also put money into my musical jewellery box and tell me to share it with my brothers. He never touched me or made me feel particularly uncomfortable. I suppose I did think it was a bit strange an adult wanting to talk to me at that time of night but I was a night owl of a child. I have no idea whether he was grooming me. I told my Grandmother in a matter of fact way and she must have said something to Mum and Dad because I never saw him again. I asked my Dad recently ( I am now in my 50s) and he remembered, and said the man in question was the local butcher, but insisted that he and Mum were aware of these 'visits' and would always check my bedroom door was open during them! Changed times indeed!

i’m not young so I have many, just a few highlights but would be hundreds of examples.

We used to sit in classrooms with teachers chain smoking as standard.

At high school the older male single teachers (aka pathetic, either divorced by wife or no woman would have them), used to hold parties inviting the senior students. Invariably it would be like a uni doss house as they had never grown up. They would supply alcohol and then try and get a girl to sleep with them - on a mattress on the floor generally, because they were so cool …. More often than not the night just ended with them passed out alone on the mattress as everyone knew how pathetic they were but came for the free booze. Although, we had one female lesbian teacher who was the same, far scarier than the men as she was persistent and never got drunk herself.

Uni was interesting. A few male lecturers who would happily give female students an extension if you slept with them. It was really unfair as it meant the guys were screwed😂. I do recall one lecturer, all the girls needed extensions even though we all had our assignments done ahead of time🤫. One lecturer even gave advance preview of exam papers, but needless to say he was a pathetic alcoholic and no one was that desperate to pass.

Training was no better really, Consultants would basically threaten woman’s careers if they didn’t sleep with them, sounds bad but the guys were often physically humiliated and punished so fair’s fair I guess. Lots of sex in our ‘off duty’ rooms, was all consensual but nowadays some killjoy would complain about coming in to kip with people going at it on the lower bunk and there would be a drama (whereas we’d just climb in the top bunk and go to sleep because we’d all been on the bottom one at some point plus we were too exhausted to give a shit). Patients were not allowed to smoke in their beds at that point but there was a smoking room/area on most wards where patients could happily puff away.

Topped off with the wildly inappropriateness of having to suffer a thick cloud of smoke on every plane trip. There was a smoking section separated from the rest of the plane by nothing at all. So on a long haul flight we were all enveloped in a thick cloud of cigarette smoke. I’ve never smoked and think this tops my life as the most inappropriate thing I have ever suffered tbh.

Driving instructors. Don’t know where to start. Don’t know anyone who wasn’t basically molested by one at 15yo. I begged my parents to change mine and got a rampant lesbian who was far worse than the guy I escaped. I think back then we all passed our tests really quickly so we never had to suffer continued driving lessons.

Basically everything I remember about 10 years in the air cadets. I'd never let my DC go. Putting a hierarchical power structure in place between teens (some of them adults) is a very bad idea indeed.

What the hell this exact same thing happened to me! Although it was a random guy from a restaurant that asked me. I’m laughing now but actually when I think about it how bizarre 😂 the chaperone is the extra weird part for me 😂

Went to an all catholic girls school. It is coming up to easter so they school brings in a small army of priests to do confessions in order to wife the slate clean.

I am 14?

I get separated into a group of 20 girls and sent off to follow a priest to one of the quiet areas set aside for confessions. This creepy old priest, had to be late 50s, stops outside the room set aside and lines us all up outside the door. Its dimly lit and he proceeds to give us a talk about how we are all big girls now and to make a 'good' confession we should forget about the petty sins like gossiping, not doing what our parents tell us etc. Instead we should be confessing the real things that weigh on our souls. Immoral actions like drinking, smoking, promiscuous behavior, thoughts and self-pleasure. These will keep us from heaven and we need to make good confessions by telling him all about them. Nothing we said could shock him he said.

I was 14...I had drank once and spat it out cause it was disgusting at that age. I was a closeted lesbian who was just trying to get by so my head was always down and I didn't really socialise.

One by one he called each girl into the room for confession. Some took a while and some were in and out dead quick. When it's my turn I go in. Sat alone in a tutoring room, he had the two chairs pulled close together perpendicular to each other. He pats the seat. We are so close I can hear him breathing and his knees are touching mine. I proceed, "Bless me father for I have sinned..." I confess all my petty little sins. I can see him frowning. He says in an annoyed voice, "Is that all? Nothing proper to tell me...I know what you teenage girls are like..." He puts a hand on my knee.

I am so uncomfortable and catholic guilt is high cause I am struggling with my sexuality and ashamed of it. 14 year old me is actually thinking at the time I must be even more abnormal cause I haven't so much as kissed a boy, never mind had dirty thoughts or done any 'interesting sins.'

I shake my head vigorously and priest sighs. Gives me the absolution of sin and I am abruptly dismissed.

I never went to confessions again. Was put in detention for refusing to go the following years. It was the start of my drift from my faith.

It was so creepy and even to this day I feel uncomfortable remembering it. Dirty old man was probably getting off on teenage girls telling him about their 'impure' thoughts and acts. So inappropriate.

Once at work I was doing the closing shift, finishing at 8pm and lone working from 5pm. I was early 20s at the time.
I had a very odd looking Middle Aged man approach me and tell me how he's a ninja, travels the world and a ton of other weird AF things I must have blocked out of my memory.

He went on to tell me how all women should know self defence or MMA in case someone gets hold of them. He bragged to me for around 35 minutes about how he can easily kill someone with his bare hands, explaining to me what he would do and how he'd do it. I felt so uncomfortable and frozen, couldn't help feeling like he was telling me I was a target.

Eventually a woman from a different department came over to me with a phone and said someone was calling for me and it was urgent whilst shaking the phone at me, looking at me concerned. I was so extremely grateful she recognised the situation. I apologised to him and said 'I really must take this call, it's urgent' yet he hung around me still whilst I pretended to speak to someone on the dead phone. I kept talking down the phone and went back to my desk to use the computer until he got the hint. He walked off shaking his head and glancing back at me.

I was petrified to walk to my car alone, in a large car park in the dark. I called security and they weren't really phased, saying he's well known by them in the area! I called now DH as soon as I left the building to stay with me on the phone until I got home.

I had one very strange afternoon...

When I was 20 my best friend told me that her businessman stepfather needed an assistant and would I like to apply.

I went to his office to be interviewed and he got straight to the point and said if he bought me nice jewellery and took me to Paris once a month would I have sex with him once a week! I was so shocked that I was speechless and just said I'd think about it and left.

A couple who were friends of my boyfriend lived opposite, so I thought it would be nice to pop in (back in the days when people just popped round). The man answered the door and said his girlfriend was on a course but would I like to come in for a coffee. It was about 6pm by then, and after we'd finished coffee he leaned forward and said "Shall we go to bed then?" I was again speechless and left!

On the drive home I just remember thinking how strange men were. I'm still in touch with my friend and I've never told her about her stepfather, who's still with her mum.

Physical strength is a big part in this. In the animal kingdom, the bigger animals abuse and hurt the smaller animals all the time

From talking to a lot of men, I have figured one thing out. Men said that because they are the bigger people, it is just so easy to abuse the smaller weaker people, which are women.

I was at a party at Halloween. There was a man and a woman there. He was very tall and she was very small. He towered over her. She was literally half his size. She was about 5 foot and he was six foot 6. What is to stop him abusing her? She literally came barely above his waist. If he wanted to push her to do anything, he could.

I think we need to look at how it feels to be much bigger and taller than some one else. Does it insitgate a bully feeling in men?

I'm quite a tall woman - 5 foot 8. But in my UK life, I blend in.

However I once went to an Asian country, it was an island in Indonesia. On this island, both the men and women were absolutely tiny. I'd say the average height was about 5 foot for men, 4 for 10 for women. I was the tallest person there. Being much taller than everyone else, I did start to feel powerful.

It made me think that how men feel around women all the time. They are bigger and more powerful, and sometimes it is animal instinct to abuse those weaker than yourself

So if men are not going to stop abusing women, simply because they can, much more things need to be put in place to protect women.

I had a similar experience in that it was a creep, at a bus stop. It was Christmas Eve and I was waiting for the bus to take me to a party. It was absolutely bucketing it down. I could have only been 16.

I was alone at the bus stop when a man in a rain coat appeared and stood just in front of me. I took little notice until I saw him slip a note of of his pocket which said, would you like to suck my cock? I screamed so loud that he shuffled off. The absolute audacity of him though, he got on the bus at the next stop, a little further up the road. I can laugh now when I remember back to that night. I called my friend who promised to wait for me at the other end. She was waiting there, dressed as a fairy (it was a fancy dress party) waiving around her mothers rolling pin.

*4 foot 10 for women

@Cheeseandlobster

I bet they’re amazing though!

My sisters brother in law cornering me in a bedroom when I was babysitting.
My sister, her dh and his brother and wife had come back from the pub, niece had woken up at the same time they came in, I went up to check on her and heard footsteps on the stairs, he said he was going to the loo, I turned my back on him to settle my niece and left the room to see him stood in the doorway of another bedroom with his penis in his hand. I froze for a second then tried to get past him, he grabbed me, tried to force my hand down and said “You’ve got milkmaids hands, milk me”. I wasn’t too sure what that comment meant as I was pretty naive back then, but not that naive not to know he shouldn’t be forcing me touch his dick. I shouted out to my sister something about niece not settling, could she come up. He dashed off back into the toilet and I legged it downstairs. I was 15, he was 30. I was staying overnight and didn’t dare go to bed until after he and his wife went home.
I never told anyone.
He’s still alive, in his 80’s and still a sleaze, he still makes inappropriate comments to his nieces and now great nieces, gets away with it as the family laugh it off as “he’s always been like that “.
He even said something to one of them at my sisters funeral, last year, l followed him into the kitchen and called him out on it. Told him, “not them, not today or ever, it’s not the time nor the place, in fact it’s never been the time nor the place”.

I went to a friends wedding. Her new husband had previously repeatedly asked me out and I’d refused every time.
Anyway I felt uncomfortable and left the wedding early , he followed me down the corridor, pinned me against the wall, stuck his tongue in my mouth and said how great it was to see me, and he hoped to see me again soon.
I managed to get away. I told her, she said he’d just had too much to drink , she’s still with him

Good God!!

Sorry I perhaps shouldn't have posted on here. I guess I was trying to say how naive I can be and that we need to teach boys and girls assertiveness. Even though I wasn't a child, I was still too accommodating and polite when really I should have put a stop to the behaviour.

I was a PA, in my 20s. My female boss was signed off sick so we got this creepy stand in bloke. His wife had just had their fourth child and he got me running all sorts of errands including buying her sexy underwear - I felt even as a naive 20 something that she'd probably have preferred belly warmers! Looking back he clearly got a kick out of it all, he took me out to dinner a few times too - at the time I was like "free food - excellent" but he was definitely sharking. And then there's the 35 year old beardy guy who would give me aged 15 a lift home from the pub in exchange for "a kiss and a cuddle" - what on earth was I thinking of - what on earth was HE thinking of - actually don't answer that one 😶