AIBU to not want to go to my work Christmas party?

[TwoTimTams]

Work in a large government organisation. Colleagues are fine, some I know reasonably well, others I haven’t said more than hello to once or twice.

Our work Christmas party is at one of our other locations a 1 hour drive away. Work is paying. I don’t want to go, it’s outside my normal work hours as an early dinner. I will be there anyway due to having to attend a team event earlier that day but I don’t want to stay for the party. I dislike social situations particularly in a work environment, and while I don’t mind going out to the odd quick lunch with my workmates the politics of a work Christmas party are tedious and I can’t be arsed with it.

But people seem to love their work Christmas parties, I figure I must be weird and in the minority otherwise we wouldn’t be having them. Does everyone else actually LIKE their work Christmas party?

AIBU - I’m being boring and work Christmas parties are a social calendar highlight in permanent marker

YANBU - work Christmas parties are a form of torture, so yeah nah, washing my hair instead

YANBU

Work Xmas parties are always awful, so just discreetly slip out and go home. If you don't make a big deal of it, probably nobody will even notice.

If you want to go then go if you don’t then tell them you have other plans that evening.

Don’t go, just say you have to get home for something. Anything.

Work dos are great if you like your colleagues and see them as genuine friends. They’re a joy. They’re tedious if you see them as colleagues only - people you tolerate in a work situation. I’ve experienced both. Don’t go. Enjoy your evening doing something you actually want to do.

I have to say I love my work Christmas parties!
There are plenty of people from my work place who don't go, and it's fine.
Just don't make it a 'thing' of not going, 'I have plans, need to get back for x' and that's it.

I’m not going to my WCP this year either - and haven’t been to one for about 10 years because I don’t really like them.
If the Company organised something like a trip to the theatre or a comedy club I’d be up for it, but just eating, drinking and dancing isn’t my idea of fun. YADNBU, OP!

I can take them or leave them. I'm going this year as I'm on a new team so feel I should make the effort. I don't drink though so unlikely to make a tit of myself.

YANBU. But it depends. Previous job we used to have some great nights out - but us was just our own small department which was part of a bigger one. Local restaurant, not Xmas themed.

Than the whole department got wind that these & bring a party to a party came along & it was utter rubbish.

Not been to one in years or we had a secret spin off one for 5/6 of us to catch up.

If you don't want to go, then don't go, but as others have said, just be low key about it.

I'm torn between not going to mine and going and wearing a really sexy dress (just to give the two fingers to my pass remarkable manager).........snigger.

The venue is walking distance to my house, thinking I could go in the WOW dress and just stay for the meal and then quietly leave.

I just say it's not my thing, thank you, so I won't be going. I used to force myself but can't be arsed anymore.

If you are sure you won't enjoy it, don't go. I always used to make myself go along too work Christmas dos as I thought I should and it sounded like it would be good/fun (and it probably was if you're an extrovert) but on so many occasions I was bored, or felt awkward, or even hated it. I'm an introvert and find mingling and making small talk exhausting. Plus the creeping realisation during the evening of a long journey home late at night, being tired next day and probably a bit hungover..

These days I weigh it up and decide if I fancy it. A huge factor is if I know there will be several people there I get on really well with. I also much prefer a drinks and snacks type party to a formal dinner when you're stuck sitting down with the same person for a couple of hours knowing they probably feel the same about you!

I've got kids and that's always a valid sounding excuse "oh what a shame, got to get back ..."

Its outside your work hours, so you're not obliged to go. I'd just say you have plans already and what a shame etc.

My company is great and on the side of if you can come, then great, if not, no worries when it comes to anything social outside of work. DPs company are the sort that would make you feel like you're completely unreasonable and the worse employee in the world if you say you can't attend one of their out of work hours things. He rarely goes to them, mainly because of that attitude tbh.

To my mind this isn't an issue. If you aren't bothered about going, then don't go? It's a personal choice, surely?

Just skip it. Although if I were you I'd probably make up a reasonable excuse rather than just tell people you don't want to go. Team spirit and all that

Stay for one drink. Go to the toilet and never return. I always French exit these things.

I don't really see why going/not going is an issue. I personally enjoy Christmas parties but that's because I like the majority of my colleagues so it's a good chance to let our hair down together. Other people in the company don't like going so they don't - and no one bats an eyelid. Nobody will take offence!

There was a select few in my current company a few years ago that actively disliked Christmas parties and was trying to campaign to have them cancelled and the money per head given directly to the Employees which I wasn't impressed by!

Personally if you don’t hate them I’d show my face for a short while and just leave after meal. Show willing.
As someone who joined an organisation during Covid mainly wfh it’s very hard to integrate and nice to put names to faces.

Tell them you have plans already on that evening that are unmoveable

I really like mine and am looking forward to it. I work with 2 close friends and also a load of other people who I like to have a drink with.

YANBU, I always make an effort and go but it is an effort!
I don't mind smaller immediate team Xmas dinners but hate the large wider company dinner/ party type events.
Just say you've got other plans and make your excuses.

Work parties are only outranked by hen parties as the most hated form of social interactions by mn so you'll find a lot of supporters here.

Personally if you are already at the location and work are paying for it I'd think it's pretty poor not to just hang around for a free meal. If you can't be bothered to spend 2 hours a year having a chat with colleagues it's not great is it?

You've said you'd be fine with going for a meal which has been suggested what your party is so no idea why it's such a big ask when its called a christmas party. Obviously feel free to then leave after the meal rather than stay out drinking or whatever.

Same here I have always hated these social situations but forced myself to go.

When I started working at my last place, one of my former colleagues literally turned around and said ‘I don’t want to go so I’m going to decline. It’s not my thing so I’m not going to force myself.’ and that was that.

No excuses, none of this ‘it’s my cousins wedding’ or ‘I can’t get a sitter’. She just told people outright whether they liked it or not or thought she was boring. If she didn’t want to do something, she wasn’t going to do it and she didn’t feel the need to lie about it either.

It changed my whole perspective on it and I started to follow suit!

I sent my rsvp last week and simply said thank you for the invite but I won't be going

You don't need to give a reason why. The British are so bloody polite

Yanbu i hate them. But if work is paying it might be tricky to get out of. Can you leave early.

YANBU. I’ve never been to a works Xmas party from starting work at 16 and I’m now in my 50’s.

They are my idea of hell.