AIBU to not want to go to my work Christmas party?

[TwoTimTams]

Work in a large government organisation. Colleagues are fine, some I know reasonably well, others I haven’t said more than hello to once or twice.

Our work Christmas party is at one of our other locations a 1 hour drive away. Work is paying. I don’t want to go, it’s outside my normal work hours as an early dinner. I will be there anyway due to having to attend a team event earlier that day but I don’t want to stay for the party. I dislike social situations particularly in a work environment, and while I don’t mind going out to the odd quick lunch with my workmates the politics of a work Christmas party are tedious and I can’t be arsed with it.

But people seem to love their work Christmas parties, I figure I must be weird and in the minority otherwise we wouldn’t be having them. Does everyone else actually LIKE their work Christmas party?

AIBU - I’m being boring and work Christmas parties are a social calendar highlight in permanent marker

YANBU - work Christmas parties are a form of torture, so yeah nah, washing my hair instead

*large, not late.

I think that you have a couple of options.

1. Decline
2. Accept but leave early citing a previous commitment (with Coronation Street).

I enjoy my work Christmas parties but if there is ever a work social I don't fancy I won't go. It wouldn't even cross my mind that I should consider going. Nobody is judged at my work for not going to the work Christmas party or any other social event, even those within work hours.

My DH mother always has her Christmas family get together that day as she will be abroad at DH’s DB home for Christmas. It’s amazing isn’t it that it’s always the same date. Lol.

Ours were always organised way after I had already booked up for other events, or had other commitments organised already for December so I never attended an evening event.

Generally my idea of hell though,

Work lunches were much more pleasant events.

I don't mind smaller (team) ones but I'm definitely swerving our whole company do, I've already laid the groundwork on my 'reason'!

I don't love my work Christmas do but I think it's important to make a bit of effort for the sake of company spirit. I usually go to the meal and a drink afterwards but leave before the "going on somewhere else" starts.

I have been to various Christmas work do's over the years and I've never enjoyed them TBH. I always feel like I'd rather be doing something else. Someone always inevitably embarrasses themselves; gets too drunk, snogs someone they shouldn't, throws up etc. I don't really count the people I work with as friends though - they're work colleagues only and that for me is the line in the sand. I don't want to let me hair down around people I maintain professional boundaries and standards with, and who haven't made it across the line into the circle of friendship!

I really enjoy our work Christmas parties but that's because I'm close friends with several of my colleagues, we enjoy each others company and choose to socialise outside of work anyway. The rest I am friendly with/happy to chat to, there's not really anyone there I dislike. If that wasn't the case it would be tedious and I probably wouldn't bother going. If you don't want to go, just don't go. I doubt anyone will care but if anyone asks just say you've got plans.

I often skip out of the work Christmas party. The only thing that annoyed me is Cohen people go around saying "eugh no. I've far better things to do" etc That's knobbish.

I haven't been to a work Christmas party in the twenty years I've been at the company.

I used to go when younger but never really enjoyed myself. A team lunch out was one thing but not a big party. I'm not a big drinker and they were just an excuse for people to get drunk - the organisers even admitted that the food at the venue they used was awful!

DH still goes to his. They are usually a good meal and a few drinks - I do worry in case he falls asleep on the train and ends up in Scotland but they are not that boozy!!

What a thoughtful choice of date 😂

I never really enjoyed the few work Christmas meal/parties I went to.
I don't like traditional Christmas food, don't drink alcohol and don't really enjoy the party part (I just find it boring).
I went to a few but learned to say I wouldn't be going because quite simply I don't enjoy them.
(No one cared tbh)
I often wonder though if any other folk really weren't enjoying it. I don't understand why people just can't be honest about why they don't want to attend these things.
If no one ever says anything the parties will just carry on being organised yet if actually 30 out of 40 people said "no thanks, that's not really my thing - I wouldn't enjoy it" then the organisers might think "hmmm...maybe we should try something different".
But no. Everyone is so typically polite and just turns up, is miserable and then has to find an 'excuse' to leave.

I hate ours. I don't mind my colleagues but I just don't want to socialise with them. We do a lunch at 2pm and I hate drinking during the day as well but wine helps me get through it!!

I'm starting a new job next week and have had an email through inviting me to their Christmas party which takes place mid December. My instinct is to find an excuse and decline, because I won't know anyone and I suffer from social anxiety. If I was a long term employee and I was friendly with other colleagues, then I would go. In the past, I've always gone to Xmas dos, but just not sure about this one. As an introvert, spendong the evening with a group of people I don't know is very unappealing, but I don't want to seem rude. I think I can use the excuse of no babysitter or something like that, which is feasible given the short notice...

What government organisations pay for the staff parties?! Don’t go if you won’t enjoy it. It’s the tax payer funding it so your place would be an absolute waste of money.

I’ve been to some amazing Xmas parties and some truly awful ones. Most have been OK.

go or don’t go.

Cannot bear them
People at work are not my friends

But I have ?

Absolutely hate them. Everyone’s started this week on the planning and sniping about why I haven’t signed up for it yet. I just want to say “I grew up with alcoholics, being around drunk people makes me feel physically ill, and past experience with you lot has told me that you all get paralytic and aggro”. Instead I’m sitting trying to find an excuse. I hate the peer pressure - it’s like high school.

I'm also finding it a bit misjudged - we've just been told to cancel all business trips, stop recruiting, probably no pay rise or bonus next year etc, everyone is already feeling the pinch, yet they're going to spend £200 a head on something that a lot of people won't enjoy 😞

Right but being rude is optional you know.

Just like you don't HAVE to say "you've put on weight" or "you're a shit manager" or "why does it take you so long to do a basic task" and a million other things you presumably manage to restrain from blurting out to your colleagues in your daily interactions with them.

Just say "sorry I can't make it this year" or "sorry I already have plans that night". Why be a dick unnecessarily?

At my last workplace barely anyone ever went to the Christmas parties. I couldn't have been happier about this!

Just say you can’t make it. Have an excuse ready such as DH has a prior engagement so you need to be at home for DC (although personally I think better not to over explain and only have the excuse ready in case people start digging into why).