AIBU to not want to go to my work Christmas party?

[TwoTimTams]

Work in a large government organisation. Colleagues are fine, some I know reasonably well, others I haven’t said more than hello to once or twice.

Our work Christmas party is at one of our other locations a 1 hour drive away. Work is paying. I don’t want to go, it’s outside my normal work hours as an early dinner. I will be there anyway due to having to attend a team event earlier that day but I don’t want to stay for the party. I dislike social situations particularly in a work environment, and while I don’t mind going out to the odd quick lunch with my workmates the politics of a work Christmas party are tedious and I can’t be arsed with it.

But people seem to love their work Christmas parties, I figure I must be weird and in the minority otherwise we wouldn’t be having them. Does everyone else actually LIKE their work Christmas party?

AIBU - I’m being boring and work Christmas parties are a social calendar highlight in permanent marker

YANBU - work Christmas parties are a form of torture, so yeah nah, washing my hair instead

I have no problem with the staff I worked with and like them but can not bring myself to go to any staff parties. I went to one about 20 years ago , thought I’d said too much then worried all over Xmas holidays about it . From that day I thought I’ll never ever go again. And I didn’t . Nobody cares if you go or not really . Do what you feel like x

We just didn't go.

Another non-attendee here. I used to love the Christmas party, highlight of the year and all that and couldn’t believe that anyone would not want to go. Now I really don’t enjoy them or other nights out. I like my colleagues and enjoy their company but I don’t particularly drink and the noise is too much when everyone is in a group. The night I sat dessert spoon in hand wondering how soon I could politely leave and skipping happily down the road when did 15 minutes later was the night I decided to never go again. I don’t make excuses, just tell the truth, I like you all but don’t enjoy nights out, have a lovely time and tell me all about it on Monday. It’s quite empowering to know you can say no.

I hate work Xmas parties! I never go, I make an excuse every year. I have had social anxiety and the thought of small talk all night and having to dress up in clothes that I am not comfortable in just to fit in with all the other scantily clothed girls is a big no for me. I also spend the following days worrying that I drank too much and said something embarrassing. I just hate everything about them...

No publicly funded organisation should be paying for a staff party. Particularly in the current climate. Wtf are they thinking?

I love a Christmas party but if you don’t enjoy them, don’t go. They’re not for everyone.

Do it! Sounds like a great idea!

I don’t go to work parties. I don’t even bother giving an excuse anymore, just decline the invitation that comes through Outlook and that’s that. If anyone asks if I am going, I say no, without offering an explanation. If they follow up with ‘why’, I say I don’t feel like it. Job’s done. I am past feeling bad or like I have to explain myself. I go to work to earn money to pay the bills. Anything that is not directly related to my job is not worth the hassle. If going to the parties was compulsory, I’d go. Luckily it isn’t!

You feel how you feel. Just don't go. It's not compulsory.

This all day. Our tax should not be paying for Christmas parties.

OP has said they are not in the UK so maybe things are different where they are

Ours is at the weekend and we have to pay for it ourselves. I can't believe anyone is going!!

I generally avoid mine if at all possible. Local council so it's in our own time and we pay for our own food and drinks.

I have faked unfortunate clashes with school/child activities, lack of childcare for pickup and last year concern about rising covid rates risking me seeing my parents although they were actually going away for Christmas.

A simple I don't want to is met with incomprehension and sad faces.

My small team are pleasant but odd, as am I, so I prefer to avoid a series of awkward conversations and monologues while eating rubbish food.

I did recently go to a leaving party that was quite nice, I lasted 2 hours, circulated among the much wider group to chat to people I hadn't seen since pre covid and then happily caught the 8pm train home blaming child care.

In your situation it's a bit harder as you'll already be there and it's paid for. I'd either make an excuse well in advance or stay for the meal and leave straight after.

Public funds shouldn’t be used in this way in any country.

Never been one for these kind of things. I worked an hour away from where I lived too so it always turned any kind of social situation into a bigger effort - one I just wasn't interested in.

I dread when dh comes home and tells me he wants us to go to his! I didn't like going to my own I don't like going to his any more than mine.

I used to work in a large organisation before being self employed. I didn’t go to them because I didn’t want to. That was the reason I gave. I got on with lots of people at work but just didn’t want to see most of them outside of work. If you don’t want to go then just don’t go.

I hate work socialisations. I tend to go though because I am a wimp. But a couple of others do not. Two of my colleagues just flatly refuse. One says she doesn't want to and apparently has not attended in the decade or so she has worked there. The other just says quite openly 'why would i want to spend time with people I see all day as it is?' She's a bubbly type so she can get away with this without offence. I'm not sure I'd be able to!

But just say you can't. You need to get back. I doubt anyone really minds (except those who wish they could say the same!)

I only like work do's if they are during working hours - lunchtime is fine. I would probably be drained from the team event and just want to go home and relax. You are not boring just socially selective.

i hate work parties, christmas or otherwise.

I’d rather poke my own eyes out with cocktail sticks than attend mine. I’d already made up excuses about travelling away for Christmas (mine is the afternoon/evening of my last working day before annual leave at Christmas) but the only flaw was the risk of being seen by a colleague in the supermarket etc having supposedly ‘gone away’. I was giving serious consideration to spending my whole holiday avoiding public places just to avoid the Christmas do!

imagine my delight when the invite comes through and it just happens to be the last day of term and DC breaks up at lunchtime. I was so relieved I did a happy dance!

I’d love to be honest and say I don’t want to attend because as an introvert and very anxious person those type of events get me worked up to the point I’m physically ill!

Ours is a Christmas lunch in the middle of an onsite meeting day, we all WFH and I'm a fairly new temp and I don't want to go. I'm banking on the fact that as a temp, no one will miss me being there.

I wouldn’t go if I didn’t want to, although I most probably would as an opportunity to meet colleagues I hardly know.

I’m lucky to work with nice people and we all get on, which is why I’ll be going to 2/3 work Christmas gatherings.

I moved jobs back to my old employer a few months ago as the colleagues at my previous job were toxic. I wouldn’t be going to that Christmas party if I was still there. I told them to stick it when they suggested a leaving lunch for me.

I used to make up excuses for why I couldn’t go. Now, I just tell people I don’t want to.

The joys of nearing retirement …

' french exit '.......love it

Ours is tonight and I would rather sit at home with DH and share a bottle wine and be together. We have a secret Santa - I bloody hate secret Santa .. why can’t we just go and enjoy drinks without a bloody secret Santa and lots speeches! Feeling very curmudgeonly today!