AIBU to not want to go to my work Christmas party?

[TwoTimTams]

Work in a large government organisation. Colleagues are fine, some I know reasonably well, others I haven’t said more than hello to once or twice.

Our work Christmas party is at one of our other locations a 1 hour drive away. Work is paying. I don’t want to go, it’s outside my normal work hours as an early dinner. I will be there anyway due to having to attend a team event earlier that day but I don’t want to stay for the party. I dislike social situations particularly in a work environment, and while I don’t mind going out to the odd quick lunch with my workmates the politics of a work Christmas party are tedious and I can’t be arsed with it.

But people seem to love their work Christmas parties, I figure I must be weird and in the minority otherwise we wouldn’t be having them. Does everyone else actually LIKE their work Christmas party?

AIBU - I’m being boring and work Christmas parties are a social calendar highlight in permanent marker

YANBU - work Christmas parties are a form of torture, so yeah nah, washing my hair instead

I'm not going to ours , I just can't be arsed with the getting there and home again.

These threads come up every year and it’s the same debate - some people like them some don’t.

It wasn’t until I read MN that I found that people have such aversion to anything work related, including being friends with colleagues. That’s apparently a no no. Very strange to me as not my experience in the real world across several companies

Some of my closest friends have originally been colleagues. Surely if you spend that much time with people you will naturally become friends with some of them and then like to socialise with them? If someone else is paying that’s a bonus. Sure there are people I don’t like at work, I just don’t talk to them at the Christmas party

I never know why people say you shouldn’t make friends with colleagues but it’s ok to become friendly with people at the gym/school/NCT class/other hobby

YANBU. I’m so happy to be retired and not have to go to them any more.

In my younger working days they were quite fun - lunch followed by a disco in a hotel, you knew exactly what to expect. Latterly they were an overpriced meal in a restaurant followed by a pub/bar crawl. Absolutely dire.

Wow. I didn't know it's French exit. In Polish it's English exit 😅

@womencanlift

Exactly my thoughts. Like you Ive met lots of friends through work. Its fine if people dont and want to keep work and friends separate but if you don't get on with anyone at the place you spend most of your life (if you work full time) to chat with them for half an hour it's a bit weird!

Someone above has described a work party as their idea of hell. Really? Just interacting with people you usually already interact with and have something pretty huge in common with for an hour or two a year is hell?

I can understand people not wanting to stay out and drink. I can understand people not wanting to be significantly financially or otherwise affected, by having to organise childcare and travel a long distance etc. But going for a free meal in a location youre already at, once a year?

I've always heard of it as an Irish exit!

YABBU to not want to go. I'm curious as to what Gov dept you work for that is paying though. The NHS certainly don't. Yes, I know that's not the point of the thread.

I don't understand how "being boring" is an objective thing.

Surely if you find something boring it's boring, and if you find something exciting it's exciting?

What is "being boring"?

We had ours not long ago. I love them, plenty of food, good to catch up, and a bit of a dance. However some men have been bollocked for offering their room keys and one chap, physically touched up an employee at 2 am without consent.

I don't want to go as I've discovered I'm paid 10%-20% less than colleagues in the same role.

But we are small team so it will be noticed and it will be noted...

Torn.

What a shit 😥

I'm not going to ours either. I found out what the venue is and no, thank you. My work was late with booking anything decent.

It means being a bore.

Politely decline and don't wait. You can work with excellent people but don't have to socialize with them

That's just another way of saying the same thing.

One of the best things about running my own business is the fact that I don't have to think up an excuse to avoid a party.

If you have dc, childcare is always the best excuse that nobody can argue with.

You go or you don't go, that's being an adult. It's not an AIBU though.

It also largely depends on who you work with. I'm guessing you aren't too fond of your colleagues. I went to my Christmas parties but only because I became good friends with acouple of my colleagues; f it wasn't for them, I'd definately not have gone with the others!

I never went.
I didn't particularly like who I worked with so socialising with them outside of the hours I worked? Absolutely effing not 🥂.

I really like pretty much all of my work colleagues, and would happily hang out with some of them, go for a meal or whatever (and sometimes do), but the thought of our Christmas party just makes me incredibly anxious, as it’ll be all about drinking, with competitive fancy dress and silly games/races. If it was just lunch I’d be fine, but I know I can’t cope with the other stuff so I’m planning on taking extra time off around Christmas to avoid it. I’ve still got loads of days to take and none of my family live anywhere near me so the extra travel time seems a reasonable excuse.

Just becasue other people enjoy their Christmas parties it doesn't mean you have to go to yours

Ah the painful irony. I adore work Christmas parties and we're not having one this year, nor ever again I doubt!

I work alone, my Christmas parties are the best, I always have a great time 😁
you couldn’t drag me to a big works party. It’s too much small talk and it’s pointless.

I liked my work colleagues well enough. But struggled in late group situations in noisy places where I always ended up on the outside of any group and couldn’t really hear what was being said. And it’s wonderful to not have the worry of finding something to wear.

That’s shit, is there opportunity to bring this up?
My best friend just got a promotion in a very white male led industry and she asked for a pay rise (beyond what was being offered for this promotion- they said yes), I found it so inspiring, but she simply said “no I know my worth”
Know your worth! ☺️