Not sure whether to be a sahm or not

[Flowerpicker1]

Had 2 under 2. My maternity leave is now coming to an end following the birth of my 2nd dc. Neither dc are in nursery. DH is on a good wage.

Have been given the option not to return to work if I don't want to. Dh can cover us. It would be part not full time anyway.3 days.

Not sure what to do. On one hand I'd love to be there for all of my dcs childhood but on the other I worry if I would cope. We don't have any family or support nearby.

If you work would you rather be a sahm and not put your children in nursery? Or have you done this and loved it/regretted it?

All sorts of niggles that, funnily enough, don't seem bother Mr A while he's at his work.

What an odd post. Do you actually think this is a genuine summary of men and women? Only women care about their kids being ill while they are at work?
Men can’t pack the kids school bag?

If your husband isn’t concerned about his kids between the hours of 9-5 that’s pretty shit and not at all reflective of many other men.

Seriously, what are you going on about? How many more cliched stereotypes and assumptions can you fit in one post??

Why is it acceptable for YOU to tell men and women how they feel ?

MN is a funny place though. You could come on and say, "I am a SAHM because my husband is orbiting the Earth in the space shuttle..."

All you would get is -

"Why isn't he doing 50/50 childcare? Why?"

So you don't think women tend to carry the 'mental load' then, theMoops?

I must have imagined it...

@mantramama

If they do it's because they're enabling their ohs not to.

It's not compulsory

It also brings us back to social conditioning again.

That's so true 😂 .

Aye and you could come on and say you work and raise your kids and someone would say you don't.

Disagree.
Just because that’s how your relationship is/ how the father of your children behaves doesn’t mean it’s the case for others.

Also finding it irritating that women that work say they do to be a 'good role model'. Does that mean a SAHM is a bad role model?
You can't win either way.

Stop blaming women for mens attitudes .

Why?

It's true.

Anyway, sahms are happy with men's when it suits them

It's not all about social conditioning. The average mum is more tuned in to her children (in terms of the detail) than the average dad. It's biological and stems from birth and has ensured the survival of the species. Instinct, in other words.

What biological survival instinct is there in making sure they have rugby boots?

No. Partly because I'm just about to start work, and partly because I don't think you have any interest whatsoever in my further thoughts on this.

You may have a passing interest in cherry-picking my words, removing the context - it was a long and fairly detailed comment - and then telling me the various ways in which I'm wrong. But let's be honest - you don't actually give a toss about anything I have to say, other than giving you another little platform from which to lecture.

My comment is what is, it's there for everyone to read, project as much as you want.

I also don't feel inclined to engage more, because you just want to be right and to tell other people how laughably wrong they are. And of course, how they are also doing feminism wrong and hate equality - and that's really no basis for debate.

I'm sure there will be plenty of other posters for you to 'debate with' on as the afternoon progresses.

But it's mainly because I really, really need to start work and check out of this thread - it's not a pleasant or constructive one, and I've offered my take on it. Go well!

@Stixxul

you don't actually give a toss about anything I have to say,

No, I don't.

Have a nice afternoon at work.

Well I think that is insulting to most women sah or working and to be honest I think you come across as a very unhappy if not bitter person . As long as your OH does what works for your family that's all you need to worry about .

@Wiccan

OH does what works for your family that's all you need to worry about .

Unfortunately that's not the case.

🙌👍

Well , there's your problem then . I think it would be an idea to get your own house in order before making opinions on someone elses.

@Wiccan

You appear to have rather willfully misinterpreted my post.

I dont just have to worry about my own 'house'

My kids are not being raised in a vacuum.

Societal ideals are enacted by govts.

HaHa Toogub. You know what I mean by biological instinct from birth. Things like - waking up in the night before your baby wakes? I suppose your DH did that? Knowing they need a feed before they even cry? Knowing they are going to get ill before they even get ill? You know - the sixth sense mums have that since time began that has kept babies alive and ensured the survival of the species?

I mean, I know on "Planet Let's All Pretend We Are Exactly The Same", men have all the female hormones and instincts and are leaping out of bed several times a night; lying awake worrying about their 2 year-olds friendships; remembering to get the card and the whatever for yet another birthday party that week. I'm talking about the general men of planet earth though.

@mantramama

Things like - waking up in the night before your baby wakes? I suppose your DH did that? Knowing they need a feed before they even cry? Knowing they are going to get ill before they even get ill?

No, he didn't. But neither did I. Nor did I lie awake worrying about a 2 yo friendships. Who even does that?

Birthday cards are 100% socialisation

It's okay to be a wife and mother and not have a job.
Your children will respect you and love you just as they would if you worked.
Hell, I love my mother and she did neither.

Oh please ! Back over the same arguments again it's really boring the tits off me . Threads are really engaging and interesting until you get involved . Bye

Doesn't say much for your own contribution

See ya