To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

But we had privately made the decision to reward her no matter the grades as long as she did HER best. Not our expectation of what that best should be.

What happens if DC’s work really hard but academically are only ever going to achieve low grades. Under rewarding for results these hard workers will be demoralised under the pay for grades.
DC’s got all A’s but weren’t rewarded financially as they didn’t work particularly hard and they should be able to study without the carrot of cash.

@Parker231 read my post below your post.

@Parker231 and also. Per your point about being able to study without the carrot of hard cash. Do you work without the carrot of hard cash? Would you go back to studying if it didn't offer a chance for higher salary....

@beachcitygirl I discussed rewards with both my kids and they each picked something they would really like and suggested what they felt they should achieve to get it. There was a bit of bargaining (they were being very perfectionist on themselves, I bargained them down a little) and we came to an agreement. The rewards were items of jewellery, not particularly expensive but related to one of their special interests. It worked well. They were both in the top 5 students in their year.

It's all about the grades. Ds1 did very little but got good grades. So irritating. Sit him down and say he can do so much better.

@Oblomov22 it's irritating, isn't it? DD1 worked a lot less hard than DD2 for GCSEs, especially in the sciences - she did mostly the old style GCSEs so less tough. She did pull her socks up for A levels though and saw quite a few of her peers who had better GCSEs without work actually crash and burn in Year 12.

DD2 worked incredibly hard in both and that work ethic is now paying off massively in her degree - it's STEM and she is having to work hard at the chemistry and physics she didn't do at A level, but she's making it.

@pointythings, agreed. It depends on the child. Ds2 will have to work harder than ds1. But ds2 is just not as driven. I'll live.

DS17 last year would rather game than revise. He knuckled down after Easter and passed them all bar one.

I suggested money but he said he would do his best and it wouldn’t make a difference. Then he changed his mind and said if he passed them all and got a 9 could he have a watch he always wanted. I said ok.

he didn’t get his 9 and he failed one by 1 mark.

he got the watch anyway for his effort

sometimes you can offer a carrot but they may just not have it in them to do high grades

hes now flying at college and GCSEs are last years chip paper

The point about homework and effort is not purely about academic outcomes. They are just a head start, it doesnt guarantee success. The point about academic graft is graft, putting the hours to achieve and working towards a bigger goal. That can be effort and discipline on a sports field or in a class room.

Success is about resilience and seeing something through to end and putting in the work necessary to get there. As a parent I love watch my son succeed even more knowing when he has worked hard for it and really wants it.

Utter madness.

It really is no surprise so many teens go off the rails and turn drink or drugs when they are so pressured and no thought is given to their mental health.

Exam results are only one small part of a successful life.

Absolute rubbish.

Just because a child is getting 7-9 is no accurate reflection on how hard they are working or the values of their parent.

Some kids are just good at exams despite doing the bare minimum whilst others will have pulled out all the stops to achieve a 4.

Wow are they not naturally bright then? I don't mean that in a rude way I just genuinely don't understand why that much revision work is required if they are.

OP I think it depends on your child's aptitude and also their aims.

Sorry I think it’s bollocks that “naturally bright” pupils don’t need to work and come out with good grades. Not now anyway maybe in our day. All my friends kids who did this (bright but didn’t really work) came out with 6s and 7s. To get 9s in academic subjects you need to be bright AND work. GCSEs seem much harder now. Dds English lit was more like my a level English

Also I really don’t agree with paying for grades. They are working to do as well as they for their own benefit the grades and satisfaction are the reward. Took her out for a posh meal after her award for top gcse results though.

My two Y12s worked really hard for their GCSEs last year and secured great grades.
However, they knuckled down around Easter and as it's only just gone into Feb, I voted YABU.

Just realised you posted you were livid in November, so I will change that to YABVU!

I didn't do anywhere near that amount of revision and I passed all of mine with excellent grades. GCSE's aren't the be all and end all as long as he gets the grades to go to college and passed maths and English, literally no one cares about GCSEs if you've been to college/uni.

That is just not true any more. If you want to do a competitive degree then yes the gcse results do matter. Dd wants to do law at a good university damn right thru look at your GCSEs. Peddling old fashioned myths like that does our kids no good at all.

It's not about GCSE grades, it's about building habits to last a lifetime. To get on in life you have to be self-motivated and be able to knuckle down and work uninterrupted in order to become an expert in your field.

I think a lot of the ‘GCSEs are easy’ posts are outdated. The new GCSEs are difficult and even able students need to be revising hard.

Many universities are also looking at GCSE grades for competitive courses. It’s less so about the individual results themselves but more about the demonstration of continued work ethic. If you have two candidates with similar A level results, more often than not you will pick the one who has applied themselves at GCSE.

My DC are in year 11 and are revising hard, as are most of their friends. They have even handed in their phones until after exams to help them focus.

@Stackss - they have handed in their phones? Why - they still need a social life and outside interests. At DT’s school, sports and music commitments were mandatory throughout exam session. The aim is for well rounded students, not exam machines

The “you just need maths and English” message may be ok if you have a non academic child heading for a more practical course yes but if you want to do law / economics etc at a respected university- that ain’t gonna cut it!

But you can take more GCSEs any time. If you need them. Its not a one shot scenario. You are completely right about top unis, if her child were fixed on law (medicine/engineering) at 18, the OP probably wouldn't have her current, perceived (unreasonable) problem.

Kids whose parents don't give a shit what they do are far more likely to turn to drink and drugs than kids whose parents have high expectations for them.