To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

It might well be enough for him to get the grades. DD1 did very similar, maybe a little more, and got a raft of As/8s. Then really buckled down and stepped up for A levels. DD2 worked a little harder because she struggled with maths, but certainly no more than about 6-8 hours a week and got a raft of 7/8/9. Again, really stepped it up for A levels.

@PalmTrees7 your suggestion is a recipe for burnout.

@PalmTrees7 it's November not April.

My dcs never did anything like that amount of studying. Dd is in 2nd year at Uni so her way of working worked for her.

This is completely insane, there is absolutely no need for a reasonably bright child to be doing this amount of work through the whole of their gcse year! When are they supposed to relax and get a break? That would essentially be go to school, come home, have tea, work for three hours, go to bed - what about extra curricular activities, or (perish the thought) fun???

@PalmTrees7

Wow. That's hot housing. Where is the balance?

Agree with PP that is a recipe for burnout.

Christ, what do you think is going to happen when he leaves home and doesn’t have you hovering over him?

I'm livid inside - trying to stay calm and rational outside and being very supportive, encouraging etc and trying to help him. Trying to explain why its important. His predicted grades range from 4s to 7s, mostly lower end. Passing his exams with those grades would be great if he has tried his best. But we know he is capable of much higher if he does some work. Context is also that we have made big sacrafices for his education (spend our family savings on 4 years private ed at smaller school as he was having problems at his large comp school during/after covid). We are not soft, phone time/ xbox gets witheld if he hasn't done any studying but that is when the trouble is kicking off!

That’s plenty of revision time. And it is a long day for teens when they are in school
6/7 hours plus homework time.

If he is generally doing well in lessons, completing his homework at school club and has decent predicted grades then I wouldn’t worry.
Maybe come back to if after Christmas break, but school may be reminding the students that it is almost exam
time so he may naturally increase his revision time.

Its equally as important that he has down time with his friends.

I would expect that you have not had a response from school because they are perhaps trying to support students who do not engage at all?

But it’s not worth being livid over. What’s the worst that can happen, couple of resits?

Mine does hardly any homework as none is really set. It's pretty much all done in class. He's done his maths homework this morning and it took him 15 mins. He has revision homework on the app and ot gives a guide time, e.g. French is 30 mins. He has ticked it he has done it but I don't know if he has.

Predicted grades are 8 and 9 for all subjects, lowest being 8 for French.

You’re joking right? That amount is absolutely ridiculous!

Sorry, cross post OP. If he responds like that to hard discipline have you tried if you do 30 mins revision you can have 30 mins Xbox?

This is bonkers advice. The child needs to find their own way of working and trying to force them into working by your standards is counterproductive.

Why on earth would you be livid? It sounds ok to me, and 4-5 hours more than I did until one week before my exams!

DS did even less, most of his revision was in school, doing practice papers etc.

I think you need to find a hobby (or a job, if you don't have one) so you spend less time fussing.

Yeah, my ds isn't doing that much. But the curriculum is covered in class and he remembers things easily. I do worry that he won't be prepared for the increase in pace come a-levels but what am I going to do - make him sit and revise things he can already regurgitate and practice papers he reliably gets 8s and 9s in without any effort?

Of course YANBU. 4 hours a week is nowhere near enough work for most DC to even pass GCSEs, never mind get good grades

Complete and utter rubbish.

Context is also that we have made big sacrafices for his education (spend our family savings on 4 years private ed at smaller school as he was having problems at his large comp school during/after covid)

That’s irrelevant. That’s a choice you made.

I would therefore be coming down hard on him and removing all privileges until he is doing 2.5 hours of revision on school nights (ideally 3) and 4 hours a day at weekends

Blimey, I don't think I did that much (esp the weekends) for A levels!

Does he have mocks soon? If he doesn’t get the grades he feels he deserves, that will hopefully give him a kick up the arse.

My DD did hers this summer, mocks were Jan. She did a few hours a day over Xmas, and from the mocks onwards all homework seemed to be going over topics they had already be taught.

DD has mocks from Monday she has studied most of the weekend. She gets easily 12.hours homework a week including over half term which is ridiculous. Trying to also fit in studying is sometimes impossible if she is to have a life outside school. At this stage I want it balanced. After Feb half term she will up the revision for May . I don't want her mentally and physically exhausted from 9 months of 50 hour weeks with no breaks. That's not they way to get results.

Yabu. He is doing 4-5 hours and these are his exams not yours. If he doesn't do enough and gets disappointing results then he learns a lesson from it: a lesson best learned now rather than later.

That's ridiculous. I did no revision for GCSEs and I got two As and five Bs.

26 hours a week revision for your child plus expecting them to increase that sounds like they are really struggling with school work. Are they SEN?

You’re pressuring/requiring your DS to do 22hrs/week of additional study and this will increase closer to exams? 😨

If you truly believe your DS needs this many extra hours just to get a decent GCSE grade, then perhaps he doesn’t have the aptitude for an academic career path? Your DS is already working flat out on a punishing study schedule that is a recipe for burnout and a mental breakdown- there’s no headroom for him to increase that for higher level academic study.

It all depends on how bright he is, how much he engages in school, and what grades he is after.

A bright kid who tries hard in school will surely probably get 4-6s with minimum extra work, but a less bright or someone who wants top grades will need extra hours to revise.

When are mocks? I'd expect effort for mocks.

Maybe agree with him grades for mocks, and agree that if he doesn't get them he will do more for the real things.

Also consider what he will do after GCSEs. A levels are not for slackers.

If you feel your DS can do better than his predicted grades then you need to focus on working smarter, not harder. One would hope that an expensive private school would also lay on support sessions in the term running up to GCSEs - my local comp did this, in a system comprising 3 tiers (a group aimed at getting the 4, a group aimed at getting the 4/5 group to a 6/7 and a group aimed at getting the 7+ the best grades they were capable of). Your school should be able to provide similar. Yes, your DS should probably do more - but there is no point piling on the pressure in early November. It needs to move up gradually and it needs to be targeted at his weakest subjects.

You also need to consider what he wants to do post 16 and what he needs to get there.