To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

It’s a weird one. I don’t really know how I feel about this situation because I didn’t do much work and did well - let’s be honest GCSEs are easy AF. They’re more about managing time and not being stressed out than anything (which is a life skill in and of itself!) I recently found my old certificates - GCSEs, a levels, undergrad and law school. I think what I personally really needed was a plan. I was all over the place and when shit got hard at a level and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I then moved school and had more freedom - not less. Like another poster mentioned this actually motivated me more. I think a serious talk is a good idea. Ask your son what he wants out of life and what he enjoys. How he can maximise this.

My colleague has 3 teenage boys. She always tells the story of how she motivated them to work of their own accord.
Firstly, she took them to Canary Wharf and did a tour round her office. She then took them to the car park and showed them all the Porches and Lamborghini’s of the parents. Next she took the DLR to the council houses half way between Canary Wharf and the City. She made them work around there, look at the rubbish, made them walk through many of the estates etc. Then she took them to the City of London, showed them the Royal Exchange. Next she went to Harley Street etc. You see where this is going. She also took them to a soup kitchen etc.
She did the same when it came to schools. She made a point to take them to look round the less prestigious comprehensives, as well as the grammar as well as Eton College. She showed them all the options at an early age and then left it to them. One got a full bursary to Eton College.
Obviously she and her kids are relatively privileged. However, she swears after she showed them the various options properly that they all worked properly. They needed to see for themselves.

People in those circumstances aren't there because of a nominal amount of work they put into their GCSEs. All she did was suggest some people are of less value than others, which is a lovely message. Did she show them the folk working or volunteering in the soup kitchens, or were they similarly failures at life?

@Hobbi - you are making false assumptions assuming what my “colleague” is like. She is a single mum and works hard as a secretary in a large law firm. Her boys are mixed race. She definitely feels for her boys it is a question of work put into during their GCSEs

In fact, in many cases, the teenage brain cannot quite understand or fathom consequences/dangers etc. Sometimes you need to show them in a concrete way.

I made no assumptions about your friend. I stated what message her actions conveyed. And my point about those working in the soup kitchen remains, only take your children there to help or bugger off with your poverty porn. And what does the ethnicity of her children have to with anything? What a remarkably unusual thing to say.

Well I know lots of pupils (not me) who did that amount and got As and Bs. Different pupils require different timescales - regardless of what teachers or friends may think is enough.

Being a half black boy and living in London - hmm, of course there can be huge issues, racism, written off at school, offered drugs very early (huge impact on the developing brain), the lot!
I have made it a point to become friends with lots of immigrant parents in the last 20 years and what they say to and how they bring their children up is fascinating. I have learnt so much from it.
If you have actually been born poor yourself and your children are in danger of becoming poor/written off it is definitely not poverty porn.

The OP child is at private school 12 kids max

My advice to you OP is to chat to him what he is interested in further down the line and work back from there. Even if it means visiting a university or two, a place of work etc.
So he can actually understand why he needs to get the best GCSE’s possible and in which subjects in particular.

For example, with my DD school always used to say “she is so good at languages, English and music” and they really wanted to encourage her down that route as there wasn’t that much demand for modern languages in the school. However, she was adamant she wanted to be a psychiatrist. She wasn’t that good at Sciences because she hadn’t put much effort in (although she was relatively good at Maths) and she had a few weak teachers in certain years. Age 14 we went to see a few hospitals from the outside mainly, we researched med courses together, she did etc - she really came to realise she has to nail Chemistry and Biology. We bought her 2 GCSE revision textbooks, she joined St John’s Ambulance, she volunteered in the local care home (where they mainly got her to sing and play piano to the residents who absolutely loved it). She spoke to friends who are doctors & nurses & midwives and paramedics. Anyway, she then worked so hard, because she wanted to do it and she understood why she had to work hard.
So what does he want to do for A levels, after that etc. and how much work is he putting into those subjects in particular.

I would prefer my local comprehensive to Eton Boarding schools are unnecessary and unnatural and should be abolished

Many parents would disagree. Especially overseas ones. It's no different at university would you ban international students??

I think that sounds fine. I did less and managed to get good grades at GCSE and A levels, before going to university to complete an undergraduate and MA degree.

Sometimes shorter focused sessions are more beneficial than sitting at a desk for hours… especially if it means you are getting down time to recharge.

Obviously if his predicted grades are poor he might need to reassess but otherwise, I’d leave him to his own methods.

@marktayloruk - boarding schools suit certain children and not others. A certain child can really thrive at e.g. Eton, surrounded by amazing societies, sports, drama & music facilities and very strong academic minds in the form of teachers/amazing library etc. Also most of the kids actually do stuff there most of the day rather than sit on screens. So for an active kid with a growing brain it can be life changing and it can probably form a lot of extra pathways in their brain, help with physique etc.
Elite education is not a comfortable subject but it is certainly an incredible opportunity for those fortunate enough to experience it who know how to make the most of it.

Sorry I missed your update saying his predicted grades aren’t great… could you speak to the school about helping him with some study methods? It’s likely time isn’t the only issue and learning how to revise effectively is more likely to make a difference than pushing him to work when he’s not motivated.

I agree with PP that concentrating on where he wants to get long term could help too.

London what career event this weekend
www.whatcareerlive.co.uk/birmingham/getting-there

These type of events might be useful careers events - we went last year Y12 for DD1 but seemed to help focus DS then Y10 now Y11.

I think the point about lack of careers advice is actually a really good one. If you don't have a passion and a drive for something from a young age, it's difficult to work out what you need to do and how hard you need to work. Keeping your options open can feel like not having any direction, and that's demotivating. I reckon a lot of very driven high achieving young people are actually the ones who have an end goal in sight - my two certainly did and it definitely helped. My younger one isn't a natural in maths and the sciences but knew they were necessary for the Marine Bio degree so really worked hard at them.

Boarding schools should only be allowed to exist on condition no child is compelled to.go to or stay at one. Nor would they be allowed to have lessons for more than five hours a day five days a week or have compulsory games religion prep or cadets. And if the kids want to be online or watch the soaps, let them!

Ime, far more important that they have a balanced revision timetable and focus efforts less on the areas they know well and more on those things they don't. I think a Y11 who is engaging in class and working hard at school should be OK on an hour a day revision. I excelled in English and struggled in maths, so focused more on maths. My dad pestered me relentlessly about revising which annoyed me because I was taking a pragmatic approach and doing what I needed to do. Got 9 GCSEs A*-C.

Clearly depends on the child though. If they're struggling, they'll need to revise more.

I think if he is doing this much now then that is good as he will no doubt increase this next year getting closer to the exams.

Its still quite a way off......

Are you personally saying it's good that fewer posters aim high to reduce competition for those that do?
Do you mean this for your own children or for society in general?

@UpsilonPi I think it speaks of immense arrogance on the part of the 'work 'em till they drop' brigade that they think their way is the only way that leads to good results. It isn't a method that is guaranteed to bring the best results in everyone by a long stretch. We all want our DC to do well and be happy. What that looks like is different depending on who we and our DCs are.

Fully agree. Working clever not harder.
For some children too many hours will actually bring their grades down. Better to find the revision style / time periods that work for each child. A child hating every minute will disengage and that won’t lead to good grades.

It's not a race to the bottom. To only quote Eton is as they say lazy journalism. Yawn.....

Actually the anti private school bias is interesting - in reality, the very top graduate jobs in the country are becoming more and more international. So if state schools are substantially underfunded and English private schools are sneered at who are the companies actually going to hire?