To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

^My friends and I never revised for GCSEs and a slightly smaller group didn't for A-Level.....We did our homework including practice papers

You know that's revision, right?

OP- your sacrifices were your choice, not your child's responsibility.

And no-one cares whether you got a 5 or a 6, an 8 or a 9 by September of Y12.

Then if you are finding you have to work really hard at A-level, Uni will be even more of a struggle.

I actually disagree with this - if you choose your subject right is is not neceswsarily true. DD1 found A levels much, much harder than university because she was studying a subject she had a passion for and wanted to work hard for.

And no-one cares whether you got a 5 or a 6, an 8 or a 9 by September of Y12.

Not true.

Through Y11 DD did probably 1.5hrs a day during the week but then also 4-5hrs on a weekend, usually early on Saturday morning.

Universities do

YOU chose private education. YOU. He’s not an investment from which you should expect a return.

And no-one cares whether you got a 5 or a 6, an 8 or a 9 by September of Y12.

But for some subjects if you 'only' get a 5 or a 6 you won't be studying the subject you want to study in Sept of Y12 so of course it matters for some people!

Not rft but surely after his mocks he'll realise exactly what he needs to work on. It's a tricky one,OP, as we all want our kids to get 9s but if the pressure is going to impact their mental health and make them ill its better to settle for lower grades. He can always re-sit any he's not happy with.
Back in the day I got a D for maths and was able to take my GCSE Maths at college alongside doing my A levels to improve my grade.
In the whole scheme of things I do feel we put a lot of pressure on kids about GCSEs and, in reality, they are just exams to get through to move on to the next stage of their education.

Unis care. These days, they care very much about grades both at GCSE and A levels.

My DS is in Yr 12 now. Our experience of his GCSEs was so bloody frustrating. He is a happy, sociable, lovely, bright boy...who is also lazy and didn't see the point/need to revise.

At our school they don't give homework, they only have to do anything at home if they don't finish the class work. This seemed to make DS think there was no need to revise, and as nothing had been set I don't think he quite knew how/what to revise.

DS was of the opinion of if 4/5s are what you need to get into college, why bust a nut getting higher grades. I could see the teenage mentally of that, though found it really frustrating that he was capable of getting higher grades so why not try to get them.

I would say honestly he did no more that a couple of hours revision for his GCSEs, I mean in total...yes we could have taken phone/xbox away and made him stay in his room but that still wouldn't have meant he actually did any meaningful revision, just would have caused a whole lot of tension and conflict in the house. DH and I decided we needed to let him do it his way and if he failed then it was a life lesson and he would have to deal with the consequences.

I was quite terrified on GCSE results day, he ended up with 4s and one 5. He was disappointed (as were we, but we weren't surprised). I think he really thought he'd sail through and get 6/7s for everything, his predicted grades were 5-7s, I guess they predicted those thinking he'd actually do some revision.

It actually hasn't changed anything for him, he's at college, loving what he's doing. Do I think it's changed his mind and he would work harder next time...I aren't sure. He was disappointed but it almost might have been better if he had failed and needed to resit, it would have shown him that he should have worked harder and prevented a wasted year resitting.

So sorry OP, I don't think I've helped here at all just giving our experience. I think if your DS is doing an hour a day of meaningful revision at school, I'd be ok with that. It is only November,

But having those grades would stop you getting on some courses in the first place. If OPs son only gets the lower end of his predicted grades, choices will be limited. 5/6 wouldn’t get you into any A level course at my sons college.

She's obviously got cameras in his bedroom.

Seems a lot compared to dd1 who barely did homework or revision, and got a*'s. They all have different abilities ... my other dd worked really hard but still not more than 7-8 hours

He can always re-sit any he's not happy with.

No he can't, unless you want to pay.

Back in the day I got a D for maths and was able to take my GCSE Maths at college alongside doing my A levels to improve my grade.

Nowadays you would be required to resit maths (or English) in college if you don't pass. The pass rates for the resits is dire, so the best chance of passing is in Y11.

God no wonder CAMHS waiting lists are soaring reading some of the parents here and what they expect of their kids!

Tragic.

And it happens every year, far more frequently than most people realise.
Teen suicides tend to be reported in a very low-key way because of fears about contagion.

We hear more about the ones who make it through school to later believe that their lives are not worth living because they didn’t get a 1st at undergrad, or failed their doctoral viva.

Be careful, pushy parents. You want them to succeed so that they can have a happy life, right?
Don’t make them miserable.

That poster couldn't spell laissez-faire correctly. They should have put more hours into their French revision.

That is ridiculous.

And no-one cares whether you got a 5 or a 6, an 8 or a 9 by September of Y12.

DS needs to get certain grades to get accepted for college A-levels and some A-levels do want higher/highest marks at GCSE.

Some universities do look at GCSE grades - as for applications they only have expected grades to work from with offers.

I do think DS could have done more this last week as it was half term- I did do more at same age - but he's done the homework and a few past papers and work book stuff he's on track. He has mocks next week and week after actual early GCSE maths papers - it's hard to balance need of both as don't want to ignore mocks but Maths GCSE is important to him for his future plans.

However he's on track and I want to keep him on side with work - if I push to hard it's often counter productive. I am lucky though as he is focused on where he wants to go. DD1 is harder - her last grades weren't what she wanted but its' not translating into more work - and it's A-levels.

You nagging him and getting cross will change absolutely nothing.
I tell my teenagers that it’s their lives. If they want nicer things in life and to enjoy the kind of lifestyle that they are accustomed to, you have to work hard in life to pay for it. I won’t be bailing kids out due to their lack of effort or life choice I. The future once they are adults. Sometimes though kids have to fail to succeed. I haven’t passed all my exams along the way and my kids know that. No amount of nagging would have changed that. However I got there in the end and have built a nice lifestyle through resilience and hard work. I’d just let him know the potential consequences and leave him to it. I battled my son no end through his GCSE’s it made not one jot of difference, just caused me lots of stress and conflict.

3 hours a night means he is putting in over a 9 hour day. That’s more than a lot of full time jobs! OP, it sounds sensible that he goes to homework club as he’ll have less distractions than at home. Perhaps he could put a few more hours in over the weekend?

Total agree with this, it comes under the heading “personal responsibility”.

If you want to be an investment banker ect those are standard hours.

You can't make him! Barely. I'd go on predicted grades. He needs to pass them all. He should be aiming high. He should want to meet his potential. Do the school ask for a minimum, say a 7, if he wants to sit an A'level in it?