To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

It's the start of November right? Why on earth are you stressing about this now?

This thread reads like a bunch of teen boys trying to outcompete each other with how little work they did for an exam.

There is a tendency among boys to get a good result in an exam and then brag that they didn't revise for it regardless of whether they did, and if they get a poor result in exam it's because they didn't revise.

Boys massively underachieve at GCSE compared to girls so I wouldn't be comparing him to his friends either.

OP has explained that.

Not sure you can “make” someone revise anyway. They’ve got to want to.

Dd1 naturally v driven and did a lot of revision and ended up with all 8s/9s. However part of her revision technique was us testing her on her revision cards. For weeks. Having no evenings for 2 months was full on. So be careful what you wish for!

If you want to get ahead and complete quite well, this seems a good example.

As a Youth Worker, surely you understand the impact of telling him "I paid private for you, you need to work hard"?

Paying for anything that is the parents choice to help a child should never be thrown back at a child or used as a tool to guilt trip them. She made the decision to pay private to help her child through a tough time and is now using it as a stick to beat him.

They're 6 mo away, pushing will just lead to push back. Boys do tend to 'get it' a bit closer to exam time, especially if mock results are not what were hoped for.
(I used to teach and have been a TA and also a private tutor).
It might be that a tutor for a particular subject will help to focus.

And does he even actually know how to revise and what works for him?

This is just horrific. Absolutely horrific. How sad and what a waste of a life. Poor, poor child

The previous poster who described the replies on this thread as laissez-faire was absolutely spot on.

Wow, I think most Y11 in my DC's year (fairly academic school) are doing at least 1-5 hours per night (many do 2-3 hours) weekdays plus more on Saturday/Sundays.

Even though previously not keen on doing much revision, it seems the expectation due to school/peers is that they do the stated amounts now. DC is finally revising and doing more work this year, and is not stressed about it yet.

It also depends on what your school do. Ours had from November until exams revision sessions every Saturday and every school holiday. They had no study race and had intense revision instead.

Our school from before their mocks spent time working out revision timetables and exploring various revision methods with them as well.

My son wasn’t particularly disciplined with homework and apart from me asking if he’d done it, I left him to it. He was doing it but in his own way in his own time. He got 8 grade 9s the rest grade 8s.

I think that’s more than enough! I probably did about 2 hours of homework then when revision time came in the Easter holidays did about 2 hours a day - if he’s bright as you say he is he should know how much to do!!

I’m not sure that’s true, In fact, I know it’s not. Many school hours are hardly nose to grindstone. Most good independent schools set similar or higher expectations hence results.

The evidence is not that academic success creates mental health problems. In fact, the opposite is true. An early work ethic means studying at a higher level doesn’t come as such a shock. Good results from hard work build mental health.

Still plenty of time for hobbies too. We sometimes fail our children with low expectations and cotton wool.

That's about what I did. A fair bit more for 2 weeks during the 'study leave' bit we had before our GCSEs started. Quality of schoolwork and revision is much better than quantity, often.

I studied fir about 5 hours in total for my exams. I still passed. 🤷‍♀️

You raising your blood pressure won't make him magically pass.

@PalmTrees7 I think you might be better accepting that your child isn’t as bright as you seem to think they are if that’s what’s required to get reasonable grades at just GCSE level.

As someone who deals with mental health in school, it’s the students who are MADE to do the 3 hours a night, 5 hours Saturday and Sunday who fall to pieces when exams roll around because of the stress.

I would be having serious conversations with you about the pressure you are putting on your children for GCSES. It’s controlling and stopping them having any kind of fun in y11.

I'm very surprised. I grew up abroad, western european country, DD is primary aged. In secondary I was in school 8-5pm, then came home and did at least another 3 hours work each night, often 4, and did at least 3-4hrs each day of the weekend. And we didn't get to choose 3 subjects at a-levels, we had to do ALL subjects to a similar if not higher level as a-level here (I did a masters at a Russell group uni, my housemates who were doing engineering MScs had the same algebra I had had in secondary school and they couldn't get their head around it). I was amazed then and continue to be amazed at the seemingly low level of expectations here.

I’m sorry but this is terrible advice. It is called being a control freak and a bully, and you cannot force a 15 year old into working. You may (may!) be able to force him to sit miserably at a desk but he will not be learning. Treat a teen like this and they’re likely to stop learning in school, as they’ll desperate for some freedom and independence.
Truly counterproductive and damaging approach.

we have made big sacrafices for his education (spend our family savings on 4 years private ed

Perhaps he's feeling under pressure /resentful?
TBH 4/5 hours of quality homework at this stage in the year is fine.

He will probably do mocks late December which will give him an idea whether it's enough. Time to ramp up the revision after that if necessary.

My view has always been some kids need to revise and some don't. My friends and I never revised for GCSEs and a slightly smaller group didn't for A-Level.Though I would confess I spent a couple of hours learning inorganic Chemistry compounds. We did our homework including practice papers but nothing extra. And between 3 of us at level we achieved the best results in school.
However, other kids did really well but had to work really hard for it. The whole process was very stressful for them as the pressure was continually on with 2 rounds of mocks in year 11 and 3 in year 13.
Generally if you are having to work really hard to get top grades at GCSE you are going to find it harder at A level (though we have to factor in the subjects that you are forced to take at GCSE like English, Maths and a language which some pupils really struggle with despite getting 9s in other subjects). Then if you are finding you have to work really hard at A-level, Uni will be even more of a struggle.
I'm not saying it's not worth the struggle but I see a risk of burnout if a student is doing as PP suggested 3 hours on weekdays and 5 each day at weekends which will be ramped up further! Peaking at the right point is essential.
My year 10 gets set about 10-15 hours homework a week.That's enough

@ISeeTheLight I also grew up in a Western European country, school broadly 8 - 4 plus homework and yes, we had to do the equivalent of 7 or 8 A levels. And no, we did not need to work those hours and got into good universities. What matters most is what you do with the time you spend, not just the number. Things definitely ramped up post 16, but I never, never did 22 hours at home on top of my school work. And got epic grades.

Poor kid

Hmm. Back in the 80's, I used to do 2-2.5 hours a day, 3 hrs on a sat for 6 weeks prior.

But that was before idiot guides on Youtube and got knows how many online resources to help you prep/revise for exams.

I reckon now I would be able to revise easily for an hour a day and still achieve top grades.

Back off. You can't make someone revise. They have to intrinsically want to do well.