To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

I was lucky to get that amount out of my year 11s. And I certainly didn't do that much myself

Being livid isn't going to help is it?

Yabu.

I must admit to being similarly worried about my ds but he understood what needed to be done better that I did and achieved excellent results. With hindsight I’m glad that he isn’t one of those who stresses or works himself into the ground and is able to maintain a good balance.

It’s difficult but you need to trust him.

What are his predicted grades?

A focused hour a day is perfectly reasonable if they are also working hard in class.

Of course YANBU. 4 hours a week is nowhere near enough work for most DC to even pass GCSEs, never mind get good grades.

Ime many teenagers (particularly boys) are not able to see the link between hard work in year 11 and long-term opportunities. I would therefore be coming down hard on him and removing all privileges until he is doing 2.5 hours of revision on school nights (ideally 3) and 4 hours a day at weekends.

Time to get strict OP!

Sounds fine to me. He needs a life too. Probably he will up it nearer exam time/deadlines?

Why are you livid? And why do you think that’s going to help?

You'll just push him away and make him dig his heels in.

Really ? That's plenty surely

It’s fine. I can only dream of some of the y11s I teach doing that much!

"Livid" is very dramatic. Mine did about that (or claimed to anyway, I think she looked at Netflix more than anything else). Some will always do masses but I found keeping everything calm, keeping lines of communication open and making the odd suggestion rather than getting overinvolved was better for our home and relationship. They are old enough to know the consequences of not revising so you banging on about it won't be useful on any level.

Yabu and quite ridiculous tbh.

I reminded DS frequently of the need to revise / difference it would make to his grades throughout GCSEs and A levels.

We were both glad when he took his last exam tbh. It was very wearing for us both but I felt I couldn't give up on him.

He's now at uni and enjoying the course, social life etc - and however hard (or not) he's working doesn't stress me out as I can't see it!

Well how do you think that your anger is going to help?

I didn't even pick up a revision book until a few weeks before my GCSEs (I got very good grades) no one I knew was revising in autumn term, not even for mocks really. Everyone learns differently, I personally need a bit of pressure behind me and there is no pressure in November. He will need to find his own way, if he is keeping up with the work load and predicted grades are good I wouldn't be putting too much on him right now.

Do you know how he’s doing at school? What are his grades generally like, does he enjoy school? Perhaps have a chat with his teachers at parents’ evening to ask how your son is doing, and how many hours a day he should be doing?

Sounds fine to me. Does he do alright in his homework? If he basically understands the content then that seems enough.

Seems fine. He needs down time to relax. As long as you get whatever the equivalent of 5 a to cs are nowadays then there's too much pressure on kids.
I did zero extra work until march of GCSE year and then only did an hour or two a day as we didn't have to go into school until the exams.

Being livid won’t push him into doing more. He’ll push back and do less probably. Are there mocks just before or just after Christmas? Sometimes, they concentrate the mind better than parents can. Are there revision classes at Easter?

I think it will be very hard to be angry for the next six months.

I really am shocked at the laizzes-faire attitude of some on this thread- sounds like a lazy teen’s dream.

My DC have always been expected to study hard. DS1 is in year 11 now and knows that his focus for this year is revising hard and getting good GCSEs- he is doing 3 hours of school work Monday-Thursday, Friday night off and then 5 hours a day Saturday and Sunday. This will increase closer to exams.

Yes, it is hard but to be frank it is no bad thing for DC to learn that many things in life require effort and hard work.

I didn't really get involved in my kids revision. I reminded them they had to do something but at the end of the day you cant force them to do it. Think you need to take a step back and calm down

You’re being too controlling. He’s old enough to know how much time he needs to revise. Also time spent doesn’t necessarily mean more done. Some people are better at focussing and memory than others. By this age they all know that certain grades open or close doors of opportunity.

I don’t know how much my Yr11s did as I left them to it.

NancyVicious · Today 11:49
I was lucky to get that amount out of my year 11s. And I certainly didn't do that much myself.
.....................

Same here and we did fine.

Your son knows best, stop worrying and don't be cross with him.

This is why young people are under so much stress these days. That’s plenty enough homework, just count yourself lucky that he’s doing that amount, some don’t do any. Just let him do what he needs to do and don’t put too much pressure on him, it’s a testing and stressful enough time at that age as it is.

Poor kid!