To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

5 hours is a lot for a young person I feel. However, if you are worried try speaking to school again and see what they advise.

I feel that young people should be able to pass their exams in school through working hard in school, completing their homework
and some revision. Any more is madness.

I’m not sure if your being serious or not. An hour a day is plenty for a bright child. I certainly didn’t do more than that when I was at school and I got straight As.

@Hotdaisies22

From a practical point of view have you tried approaching this a different way?

Achieving top grades is lovely but is not necessarily the be all and end all. Perhaps talk to him about what he wants to do next, is it A-Levels? What are the entry requirements that he actually needs to get to the next point?

That will, hopefully, help him focus on what he actually needs to do.

A focus on the number of hour of study 'to do his best' can be a bit overwhelming especially over 9/10 subjects.

Most state schools (in this area at least) do a 6.5 hr day so mon-thurs he's doing a 7.5hr day...not far off the average working day. At least when you are working you get paid. I think it's hard to keep motivated when the reward seems so far away and not guaranteed. I think he's doing okay myself. But if you want him to do more work, what incentives are you offering?

It depends what he has been doing all year.It's November! Neither of my 2 did any work until March/April then it was minimal. They got all 7-9s. A Level is a different ball game though.
Out of interest - those who do 20 hours a week for GCSE what do they do at A Level? The same? Or does it become overwhleming

Yabu

Firstly, he needs to peak in May/June next year.

Secondly, is homework club a good use of his time ? My kids would have chatted with their friends and would have been more efficient at home.

Thirdly, Yabu thinking that revising longer means better results. If revision quality is poor, the amount of time sat at his desk won't help even if he did 6 hours a day.

TBH I think you need to think about what you’re actually livid about. You’ve paid for private school for him, so he’ll be working hard and getting enough attention without disruptive kids during the day, and an hour a day is probably about average for most year 11s at this time. If he’s predicted 4-7s, that’s probably about where his actual ability is. It sounds to me that what you’re livid about is that you’ve paid a lot of money and it hasn’t turned your average child into a top performer. It’s ok for this to be where his natural ability level is and you probably need to work on accepting the child you have.

I had parents who, if I got 90% would ask why I didn't get 100% and it sounds over dramatic but that perfectionism has invaded every area of my life and been really restrictive.

Fwiw I think OP save your rage for closer to the time of exams - not rage, but energy. Otherwise by the time they come around you'll both be burnt out.

The private school cost is irrelevant in terms of your son but as PP said I'd be questioning if the school can do more to help given you're paying a hefty sum.

I'd expect more than that. With a reasonably bright child on ythose predicted grades, I would hothouse a bit now ( not sure an hour a day and two at weekends is hothousing) to improve his life chances and options later on. Needing a life goes beyond school. You can impr6thar life by ensuring optimisation of educational achievements.

Face to face or online tutoring to get his lowest grades up might ho focus. Rewards into schedule helps too.

That’s a lot of studying ! What job does he want to do ?

Honestly. It is gcses, not a masters degree. Kids need down time. They need hobbies, sports, as well as studying.
Speak to his teachers. Follow their advice.
DD was at 6th form college with a bright girl who was practically incarcerated by her parents for a year. She failed every single exam and became very depressed.
If ds goes through his notes every day, does his homework and a couple of practice papers at the weekend that should be enough.

But what about at uni (if they go) when you won’t be there to make them do it? I do think some students need an extra push, but plenty learn for themselves that hard work pays. My parents never pushed me; I still worked hard at school because I knew it could affect my future.

I think 3 hours a night would have killed me though, I was always so tired when I got in from school.

I’m talking about my DC who did their GCSES within the past 10yrs. The youngest right before covid. 🤷‍♀️

@Hotdaisies22 you should have posted in Secondary rather than AIBU. I don't think you are wrong, the more he bites away at stuff now the less he will have to do later. Spread the workload rather than a huge pile at the end. They literally have an entire school day of hours outside of school every school day and yet these delicate flowers cannot be expected to revise. They are competing with schools who provide external revision sessions. Ds2 is year 12 but last year they were in after school revision regardless of grades for three one hour sessions a week after school plus a few Saturday morning sessions for a particular subject with only 60 students taking it out of over 350.

That is what your son is up against and that is a state school. GCSEs work on a curve, there is no 50% gets you X grade. If other students do better at him in certain subjects he could be forced to fail, not get the 4. Someone has to, that is how the GCSE curve works. My DCs school have always proved that they have done everything they can to get the children to pass their GCSEs, so it comes down to the child if they don't do well, SEND excluded. However, their progress 8 is great especially for low ability children.

You know what motivated me at 16? Being sat down and told I could work as little or much as I wanted but, re: opportunities afterwards, on my head be it. I studied but also had a part time job ans a boyfriend and got 3 A stars and 5 As.

Wow, I am really surprised by some of the responses. Maybe it depends on the subjects and/or the grades your dc are aiming for. My dd, year 12 now, spent about 4/5 hours a week just on her art, never mind her other subjects…

Right??? This thread is quite shocking. Granted I went to a predominantly Asian school which probably overdid it on the studying, but in year 11 I typically had about 3 hours of homework a night and 5-6 hours on weekends, plus the expectation that we’d ramp that up substantially in the weeks before exams. We also had the expectation that we’d be sitting music exams outside of school, playing a sport, and volunteering and/or having a part-time weekend/summer job.

If he’s bright that will be more than enough revision. GCSEs aren’t that difficult really for someone who is quite able.

They certainly still need down time and sport/socialising in year 11, not constant school work.

It’s not enough for decent grades these days unless he is one of the lucky few who retain information instantly and can churn out coursework very quickly. I was a straight A student 30 years ago but would not get away now with the same level of effort I put in then.

Mocks are also more critical these days for students wanting to go on to further study as offers are based on these results/predicted grades. At least this is the case in my area.

YABU to be livid though, that won’t help. What are his future aspirations? Can you help him see the link between working hard now and getting to that next place?

It's tricky as it depends what he is doing at school. My DS is doing mocks regularly and attends various clinics to help improve his grades. He also doesn't get home until 5 and has homework which in the main is revision. So there is a balance to be had as to how much he does at home. Although he does do alot of hours during half terms. We are expecting to see an improvement in his grades as yr 11 progresses so will see if what he is doing is enough

@TumbleFryer

An hour a day is nowhere near enough for any year 11 DC.

OP- I would ignore the posters encouraging laziness. There are always stories bandied around regarding DC who do no work but come out with top grades- these are a tiny minority. The vast majority of DC need to work hard and earn their grades.

If you are paying for private education, it is perfectly reasonable to expect your DS to work hard. I would sit down with him and say that he needs to up his game and get into a good study routine. I’d be removing the Xbox for now and allowing him to earn it back once he has shown a mature attitude and is studying hard.

That sounds OK to me for this time of year. Depends what sort of grades he wants though. Bear in mind that they will be going over things in class from about now too in some subjects, so revision might be more than just homework club

Can you get him a tutor so the time he does spend studying is relevant and focused?

2 hours of focused study will be much more beneficial than 4 hours of not so focused.

I missed the bit about private school, but my point still stands; it's hard to keep motivated when the results are so far in the future. This is even more the case if he's not natural academic, and therefore quite possibly putting more effort into concentrating during the day than his peers.
I'd also argue it's much harder for less academic children to keep motivated; they can work their socks off and still get low grades so what's the point? one of the reasons I loath our educational system but that's a rant for another day

If that's what he needs to achieve then good for him. However very many will get decent grades with considerably less effort, esp at this point in the year. Regular consistent sustainable effort is what is needed at this point.