To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

Just to point out to posters who did little revision but got a string of A/Astars that GCSEs are different now. The reformed GCSEs have more content, and most have no coursework or controlled assessments. All exams are terminal and can't be re-sat like the old modular system. DC can easily have 20+ exams over a 4/5 week period. It's tough.

It may not be necessary to be doing loads extra right now, but will need to ramp up for mocks whenever they are and definitely from say Feb half term onwards.

DD1 in year 7 has more than 4 hours of homework a week- the idea that this would be acceptable for a year 11 is nonsense.

But in year 11 they're still getting homework, and a lot of it from memory, not sure if coursework is still a thing. So to be expecting hours and hours of revision 6+ months before exams on top of a full active school timetable is a lot. And I stand by everyone being different, I'm a crammer, revision 6+ months before would just mean I'd need to re-do.

My son has year 8 exams and is doing 2 hours a day during the week and three at the weekends

however we started later than we should have. I’d say that would be the limit that anybody could handle. But he’s bright motivated and at a pushy school.

He knows he will be glad of the effort come results

You cannot be serious

As pp have said, sometimes dc work best under pressure. Can you talk to him about revision methods - keeping it light. Remind him that it won't be a great Xmas break if he has to cram everything into two weeks revision for mocks. When he does start revising, he needs to concentrate on bringing his weaker subjects up to scratch. Now might be a good time to re-read set books for English lit so they're 'fresh' in his mind. I don't think a lot of dc see any urgency to revise at this point. The school really should be engaging with you, particularly as a paying parent.

Last year ds used the CGP books for topic revision - made cards and did the fact recall and application questions in the books. Mock results give them a kick up the bum and it all ramps up from school Feb onwards. He should probably be at the level where he's attempting whole past papers under timed conditions during the Easter holidays. To support, i did the marking using the marking schemes or examiners comments (for English). They can then work on gaps for the last few weeks before the exams start.

I probably spent barely an hour a week on homework and revised less than 10 hours in total (that’s probably being generous). I was naughty a lot of time in class (ADHD) so didn’t work hard there either. Still got mostly As.

While I recognise this won’t work for everyone and that I was clever enough to get A*s so I didn’t achieve my potential, it was good enough for me. My parents never got involved other than to offer money as an incentive for As and Bs.

All this is to say, it’s not one size fits all and this might be totally sufficient for your son. And not everyone is academic even if they have the IQ to do brilliantly well.

I virtually did any revision and didn't get anything below a B. I'm not super smart but listened (as well as messing about a bit with my mates) and did my required work. He should definitely cram what he can closer to the time and will hard at his coursework but I really don't think it's necessary to be revising this far away from exams

It’s not 4-5 hours a week. It’s 4-5 hours a week on top of a full school day. Lots of their lessons will be revision/consolidating what they know. I think the school day + 1hr is a reasonable amount of time to expect them to be working.
If the school sends them on study leave early before the start of exams, it might be time now to start introducing the idea that keeping up with school day + 1 hour during study leave would be a good goal, but if he’s getting the work done I don’t see any reason to do more at the moment.

You're 'livid' that you have a son who attends a homework club (which I assume isn't compulsory) and wants/expects to be able to chill when at home? Really?

As long as he's keeping up with his work and getting consistently good grades in homework/mocks, what's the problem? If he's attending an hour a night homework club he must only be getting in gone 4, then having his dinner, then how much time is actually left before he has to have a shower and go to bed?

I'd encourage a little work at the weekends, perhaps two hours each morning, but for goodness sake, the time will come during A Levels and uni if he goes when he's tied to his desk - GCSEs aren't the time for that.

Tell him that he is competing against all the other 16 year olds in the country. What kind of job does he want in the future? Does he think all other kids his age are only doing an hour a night, 4 nights a week?

OP, I strongly suggest you make an appointment with your son's form tutor to (a) see where your son is now, and (b) discuss how much 'extra' revision time is sensible and appropriate for him. Roughly an extra hour a day for revision, not homework, will likely be the answer, so yes, strongly suspect you are expecting too much, unless your son didn't do anything for the last 4 years...

Bearing in mind that most children will start getting a job in Yr 11, that will likely take up one weekend day or an evening or two. Plus extracurriculars like sport or music. They've also got to have time to actually enjoy being a teenager ans socialise. These things will be equally beneficial if not more in the long run than just good grades.

Doing hours a day of revision for a year at 15/16 is excessive and they will burnout. Yes they will need to up the work as it comes to February/March time.

It's plenty. Parents being on your back while not knowing anything about what you're actually doing causes so much stress and is probably making it harder for him to find the motivation to revise. Just let him manage it himself.

YABU

He’s doing an hour a day ON TOP of the 5 hours he’s doing as normal at school.

When he gets home he needs a break.

If he’s predicted a 5 in English there is no way he’d get an 8 or 9 no matter how hard he studies.

So instead of making himself ill with stress it’s better to accept that he’s going to get around a 5 and keep doing what he’s doing.

I get that it’s frustrating for you, especially if you know he can do better but it sounds like he’s already doing a lot more than most students which is great!

Does he know what subject he wants to study after this and are there minimum grade requirements?
As this is the only thing that will encourage him to study more.

@lifeturnsonadime I couldn't agree with you more. If he needs that much work, the school isn't doing its job. If a Yr11 student needs 22+ hours of extra work to get the grades, the school is a complete failure. My DD2 got her grades despite having lost her father the year before, suffering from fibromyalgia and losing her grandmother 2 weeks before the exams started - she's bright but not genius material and she absolutely didn't work those kinds of hours; it would not have been possible for her to do that without ending up in hospital. GCSEs have toughened up over the years, but for a child who is genuinely bright and is at a good school they are perfectly achievable without basically working another full school week on top of the existing one. And that includes getting high grades.

Reigatecastle "I think you need to find a hobby (or a job, if you don't have one) so you spend less time fussing". How patronising! I work full time (more than FT actually) in a demanding job and don't have time for 'hobbies' or 'fussing' I can assure you.

To those saying 'I didn't work and got top grades or my DCs didn't do much and got top grades' - that's great, you/your DCs are obviously very clever! My DS is predicted mostly low grades on current trajectory so its very different.
I'm not expecting him to be doing lots of revison now in November, I'm expecting him to acknowledge that he'll need to up his game in coming months. His refusal to acknowledge that and to think zero revison/study outside the few hours midweek at homework club is going to be enough right through to exams to get him good grades is what prompted me to post today.

YABU to be ‘livid’. The school day is tiring, they are still dealing with the Covid fall out, including extended school hours in some cases. Well-being is more important and it seems like he’s going to school and keeping up with homework, more than many.

School is really tiring, because you're learning news things all day, thinking really hard, pushing your brain at the boundary of its ability. You do get to a point where your brain is just full and doing any more is not productive.

Ice he is submitting all the required coursework, finishing the homework that has been set, I'd say that's enough until a month or 2 before the exams when he should come up with a revision plan, flash cards, practice exams etc.

@Hotdaisies22 I understand how powerless you must be feeling, but you can't force your son to study - because it will achieve nothing. If he ends up having to learn a really hard lesson, you will all have to accept that. There are other paths than the standard A-levels >> University.

I am reminded of an old colleague who came into work one morning complaining her DD got a B in her Maths GCSE. This wasn't good enough apparently. Her DD killed herself not long after. Please don't be that woman, please.

Is that 4/5 hours on top of his homework or all the school work he is doing? If it is extra on top of what is being set by school I think you'll be fine. If it is all the work he is doing each week then yes I think he needs to be doing more.

Can you put some sort of incentive to go with getting good grades? It is hard at that age to see the point of working hard without any tangible reward - which grades aren't when you are 16.

Also, does he know how to revise? It is a skill that is more than just reading your notes, can be hard to study if you don't know how if that makes sense.

The reformed GCSEs have more content, and most have no coursework or controlled assessments. All exams are terminal and can't be re-sat like the old modular system.

Quite a few posters probably did their exams before modular and coursework were a thing, or did subjects where coursework wasn't involved. I certainly did!

This is going to sound harsh but you need to look at your definition of bright. Your son is at a fee paying school but is predicted 4s in some subjects? My DD did less work than you are describing and got all 7s 8s and 9s. If she had worked harder she would have done better but it was more than good enough and importantly she was happy. If he's as bright as you think he is then I'd be talking to his school about his predicted grades and why they aren't so great. Also you made the decision to send him to a fee paying school not him - he doesn't owe you your perceived sacrifice.

I probably did 5 hours for my entire year 11. DS1 did maybe 2 hours a week homework and barely any revision, same for DS2 who is currently year 11. They have the time and space, but I'm not forcing them to do anything it's their responsibility and they understand the consequences.

However, they're all bright enough to get 6/7s without trying and they aren't bothered about getting more. DS1 got enough to get into A levels which he is now putting a lot more work into because he knows he needs good grades for uni. He will probably get As and Bs, but could and may well get A stars if he decides it's worth the effort.

DS2 wants to do forestry and they only need GCSE at 5 and above for that, he will easily manage that without revision. No desire to go to uni, he wants to work at 18.

This is a hugely binary way of looking at things. Different people need different levels of revision and most won't need as much as you suggest unless there are other needs that require a high level of ongoing support. I certainly didn't do as much as OP's DS for my GCSEs and I achieved all As and A*s. I was at boardinf school so no parents breathing down my neck, learning to motivate oneselfand assess your own learning needs is also a valuable life skill. Similarly for uni, I had a life outside of revision when finals were coming up, and still achieved a 2.1. Sure, I might have got a First if I'd worked harder, but I also had an amazing time, made friends for life, and gained a huge amount of confidence and other life skills that have taken me further in my career than a First would have done.

The schedule you are suggesting is totally unrealistic, doesn't allow the poor boy any chance of a life outside of GCSE revision and is a recipe for creating wider problems. I went to a highly academic, highly competitive school where a lot of the kids were required to work like this by their parents. The prevalence of anorexia, anxiety, and other mental health problems was high, and primarily among those with parents like you. Most of them didn't do any better than those of us with "normal" working schedules, and in fact, several did worse because by the time they reached examination time they were mentally and physically exhausted.