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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skidding Car - friend's husband today "couldn't resist the opportunity"

544 replies

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:02

Sorry, bit of a long one..

I flew back to the UK today and my friend's husband had kindly agreed to give me a lift home from the airport. Such a lovely gesture - saves me either a hefty taxi bill or 2+hrs on public transport. My friend lives close to me and her husband owns companies on the industrial estates near the airport , so he's always doing that route. I get on really well with both of them and their family, they're all lovely people, seem very happy and lead a very nice lifestyle. It was my friend who made the offer and we arranged a couple of weeks ago, he then followed up on text to say it's no problem just let him flight details etc which I did.

Anyway, we arranged for me to get the airport bus 10mins to the long stay carpark to avoid the airport fees, which makes sense. So I get there and he arrives shortly after. It's a massive carpark and pretty much empty so he pulls up right next to the little shelter thing, we say hi, he gives me a hand putting my bag in the boot and I get in and buckle up. As we pull away I'm saying thank you and was about to ask how everyone is, but he's smiling and says "sorry, just can't resist the opportunity..."

He then accelerates his car really quickly, turns and the whole car starts skidding sideways! The engine sounds incredibly loud and must be revving right up to full power and we're literally sliding on the wet carpark in a big circle, totally terrifying. I don't know if he was in control because the steering wheel was moving around quickly but didn't seem to correlate with the direction of the car. It's one of the most shocking things I've ever experienced and I don't like roller coasters etc.

He then slows, chuckles "just couldn't resist it" again and calmly drives to the barriers, exits smoothly towards the motorway, puts the radio on and then casually starts asking how my trip was.. as if that whole thing didn't happen! I tried to speak on the way home, to be polite and make small talk, but in all honesty I was feeling very ill and my legs were shaky 40mins later when he dropped me off.

Should I tell my friend what an abolosute idiot her husband actually is? On one had I really appreciate the gesture of giving me a lift and value our friendship, but on the other this was an incredibly dangerous and shocking incident she should be aware of.

It's so weird, because up until now I thought he was a really nice guy. But I just can't see him in the same way any more. I know he likes fast cars because she's told me that the stables at their house have been converted into garages and he has various cars in there. I've been in the car with him before and he's been a really good confident driver, very safe and smooth. He's in his early 50s FFS!

To make matters worse, I called my parents when home to say hi after my trip. I spoke to my Dad as even though he's in his 70s, he knows lots about cars and I explained what happened and he sort of laughed and said "well, once every now and again, why not eh..."
Seriously WTF?!?

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now.

Or is there a weird parallel universe I've just discovered where respectable, responsible, grown arse men with kids and wives and businesses, that should know better, see it as perfectly acceptable to be doing skidding and sliding and loud engine revving in their cars?

OP posts:
CapMarvel · 06/11/2022 00:56

YANBU.

What an absolute twat.

NaTTate · 06/11/2022 01:04

I'm amazed people feel this is ok and are acting as if the issue was that someone might do this at all - rather than that they might do it with a person in the car who has no idea what they are about to do and hasn't consented to it. He sounds like a total dickhead and I'd be really shaken up (and furious with him) too.

Ivyonafence · 06/11/2022 01:14

YANBU

What twattish behaviour.

Can't believe the people on here saying it's fine. If you enjoy donuts- then good for you. Many people don't and he should have sought her consent.

He didn't even warn her he was going to do it.

It's a dick move, and as PPs have said- not harmless. Thousands of drivers, most of them men, die from behaviour like this. They believe they are in control of a car, and they are until they aren't. It would be very easy to hit someone you didn't see, or swerve off (especially in wet conditions) and hit a pillar or a wall.

If you would be up for assuming that risk for the thrill, then bully for you. But OP should have had a choice.

MaxTalk · 06/11/2022 01:39

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:46

Christ. I know🙄

The point was so many are being nasty and calling the OP a drama queen but if it was kids in the car the same posters would be up in arms if their little darlings were in that situation.

Most kids love donughts..

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 01:42

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CrustyFlake · 06/11/2022 01:44

I think he was out of order not to warn/ask you first. But I don't think it's such a massive deal that he did that. I wouldn't massively change my opinion of someone I previously liked just because they did a donut in a carpark.

BatCheeseIsFine · 06/11/2022 01:49

Every driver knows this is doing a donut.

No, they don’t. Like a PP I’ve been driving for decades, I’ve never heard of a donut (i have heard of a handbrake turn but don’t really know what it is or that it’s the same thing as a donut) and I’ve never known or seen anyone do one. So I just googled and watched a video. While I can see the car isn’t moving very fast, I’d be really alarmed if I was a passenger and someone did that without warning, and for people who have been in a crash or have various health conditions it could be awful.

And also why is that fun? It looks both stressful and tiresome. I mean if you do find it fun, well ok then, but assuming it’s fine for your passenger (or enjoying giving them a fright) is crappy and immature.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 06/11/2022 02:07

Jesus H Christ. Get a grip.

Annoyingkidsmusic · 06/11/2022 02:47

Really? Christ the night, live a little.

StClare101 · 06/11/2022 04:15

If a driver did this to me without asking I’d be really angry. I would also think less of them.

TTCBBY3 · 06/11/2022 04:26

You sound like you need to live a little

2Late · 06/11/2022 04:30

Boys with toys. Where I come from it's normally done in an ice-covered car park.

ImustLearn2Cook · 06/11/2022 04:50

I think yanbu because he should have checked if you’d be ok with it first. You were a passenger in his car and he should have considered how it may affect you.

Wishawisha · 06/11/2022 05:19

ABJ100 · 05/11/2022 19:11

Oh yes nice one with the title, you knew exactly what you were implying.

Even half way down the bloody OP it sounded like that’s where it was going.

I’m guessing the wife has seen him do it before, no point to tell her. It’s not like he swore you to secrecy.

Ilovechinese · 06/11/2022 05:31

😂🤣😂🤣😂

Mummieslncorporated · 06/11/2022 05:33

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I might be wrong, but I feel like MaxTalk was making a joke about the food.

I found it amusing anyway.

tirednewmumm · 06/11/2022 05:39

Meh it's a weird thing for an adult to do and would have surprised me too but I think in an empty car park less dangerous than you are making out? Also did you see the speedometer I bet he wasn't going as fast as you think. Glad you're ok now I wouldn't cause a fallout and his wife probably knows what he's like! Just don't accept a lift again lol

Sestriere · 06/11/2022 05:40

I think I’d have said “fucks sake Michael, remind me to get the train back!”

Ivyonafence · 06/11/2022 05:51

Apart from anything else, he sounds oblivious at best in that he didn't realise you hated it and just started chucking at himself and chatting.

If you'd been enjoying it you'd be laughing, saying 'woo!' or commenting etc. the fact that you were silent should have tipped him off that you were scared, and he should have apologised there and then.

I wonder whether catching you off guard and frightening you was part of the thrill for him.

What a dick, either way.

Surprised you didn't say anything at the time.

Take the train next time.

JennyJenny8675309 · 06/11/2022 05:54

FiveShelties · 05/11/2022 19:21

So how is the creative writing course going?😂

Not very well, apparently.

Mynewchairhasarmrests · 06/11/2022 06:38

YANBU OP and I also cannot believe how many people are defending this pathetic man and calling you names. It says a lot more about them/their husbands than you. Your friend’s DH sounds very immature and rude, I wouldn’t say anything to your friend but would not accept a lift from him again and would view him very differently. Sad that so many women seem to think this is a normal way for a husband to treat his friend’s wife.

Mynewchairhasarmrests · 06/11/2022 06:40

Also, I have been driving for decades and have also never heard of a donut or anyone I know doing one.

Kalasbyxor · 06/11/2022 06:44

I absolutely get that you felt shaky.
He imposed an unexpected experience on you with no warning, no consent and no option to decline.
I don't know anything about you, but if you have a history of DA, where it is not uncommon for the abusive partner to subject the other to reckless driving, and situations where the vulnerable partner feels trapped and out of control, I can see this would have been upsetting.

I'm also really surprised at the number of people who are incredibly dismissive of your experience. Just why?

onlythreenow · 06/11/2022 06:53

Also, I have been driving for decades and have also never heard of a donut or anyone I know doing one.

Seriously? I don't drive and I've known of donuts for many years - lots of people do them. I've seen the tyre marks left behind on the roads!

LaGioconda · 06/11/2022 07:24

Mynewchairhasarmrests · 06/11/2022 06:40

Also, I have been driving for decades and have also never heard of a donut or anyone I know doing one.

Do you watch TV? Surely you've seen it there, unless you restrict your watching to Antiques Roadshow and Countryfile?

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