Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skidding Car - friend's husband today "couldn't resist the opportunity"

544 replies

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:02

Sorry, bit of a long one..

I flew back to the UK today and my friend's husband had kindly agreed to give me a lift home from the airport. Such a lovely gesture - saves me either a hefty taxi bill or 2+hrs on public transport. My friend lives close to me and her husband owns companies on the industrial estates near the airport , so he's always doing that route. I get on really well with both of them and their family, they're all lovely people, seem very happy and lead a very nice lifestyle. It was my friend who made the offer and we arranged a couple of weeks ago, he then followed up on text to say it's no problem just let him flight details etc which I did.

Anyway, we arranged for me to get the airport bus 10mins to the long stay carpark to avoid the airport fees, which makes sense. So I get there and he arrives shortly after. It's a massive carpark and pretty much empty so he pulls up right next to the little shelter thing, we say hi, he gives me a hand putting my bag in the boot and I get in and buckle up. As we pull away I'm saying thank you and was about to ask how everyone is, but he's smiling and says "sorry, just can't resist the opportunity..."

He then accelerates his car really quickly, turns and the whole car starts skidding sideways! The engine sounds incredibly loud and must be revving right up to full power and we're literally sliding on the wet carpark in a big circle, totally terrifying. I don't know if he was in control because the steering wheel was moving around quickly but didn't seem to correlate with the direction of the car. It's one of the most shocking things I've ever experienced and I don't like roller coasters etc.

He then slows, chuckles "just couldn't resist it" again and calmly drives to the barriers, exits smoothly towards the motorway, puts the radio on and then casually starts asking how my trip was.. as if that whole thing didn't happen! I tried to speak on the way home, to be polite and make small talk, but in all honesty I was feeling very ill and my legs were shaky 40mins later when he dropped me off.

Should I tell my friend what an abolosute idiot her husband actually is? On one had I really appreciate the gesture of giving me a lift and value our friendship, but on the other this was an incredibly dangerous and shocking incident she should be aware of.

It's so weird, because up until now I thought he was a really nice guy. But I just can't see him in the same way any more. I know he likes fast cars because she's told me that the stables at their house have been converted into garages and he has various cars in there. I've been in the car with him before and he's been a really good confident driver, very safe and smooth. He's in his early 50s FFS!

To make matters worse, I called my parents when home to say hi after my trip. I spoke to my Dad as even though he's in his 70s, he knows lots about cars and I explained what happened and he sort of laughed and said "well, once every now and again, why not eh..."
Seriously WTF?!?

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now.

Or is there a weird parallel universe I've just discovered where respectable, responsible, grown arse men with kids and wives and businesses, that should know better, see it as perfectly acceptable to be doing skidding and sliding and loud engine revving in their cars?

OP posts:
MightyOaks · 05/11/2022 23:59

Nutmeg321 · 05/11/2022 23:55

I would have been absolutely furious. I prob would have demanded to be let out of the car asap and just got public transport home. That sort of thing would terrify me.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 06/11/2022 00:00

Out of curiosity, how old are you OP?

fannyfartlet · 06/11/2022 00:03

ZombieMumEB · 05/11/2022 23:08

Very much this.

I am shocked with so many of the replies tbh, We have all been brainwashed into thinking men behaving like this is ok, it's all part of "boys will be boys".

I had similar experiences happen when I was a Uni student and passenger in a car with a male driver - they all drove dangerously and thought it was hilarious. When they stopped the car, I let them have it.

They all said they were in control of the vehicle - there is a reason why so many young male drivers die in car accidents.

I would let your friend know that her DH is an idiot.

Your experience isn't remotely similar. Driving dangerously on a road isn't comparable to doing donuts in an empty carpark.

Cuppasoupmonster · 06/11/2022 00:03

Stravaig · 05/11/2022 20:51

Playing boy racer in an empty public car park is juvenile but his call. Forcing it on his passenger without warning or consent is a display of dominance and very much not okay. He is a collosal wanker and I'd make sure I never travel with him again. However I'd have yelled at him to stop the car if I wasn't happy - why didn't you?

Display of dominance 🤣

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:04

Can you not drive op? Every driver knows this is doing a donut. The fact you don’t even know the name of it tells me you can’t drive. It’s really common and if he has multiple cars and is a petrol head he likely is a good driver.

It’s really not a big deal . I understand it was to you. But he wouldn’t have been out of control of the car and you’d have been perfectly safe. Try to calm down, you are ok. You were always going to be ok

and yes your title does make people think it was something else. But I’m guessing you knew that.

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:05

Imagine if the guy did it with KIDS in the car. I bet half of these responses would be different.

SwordToFlamethrower · 06/11/2022 00:05

I would have gone ape shit op. I cannot believe some people on here, they seem to live on a different planet.
You consented to a lift home, not a joy ride. He didn't ask you and what he did was way out of order. It would have traumatised me too.

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 06/11/2022 00:06

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:05

Imagine if the guy did it with KIDS in the car. I bet half of these responses would be different.

But he didn't did he? FFS!

oioimatey · 06/11/2022 00:06

He wasn't out of control by the sounds of it. YANBU to be surprised or not fancy catching a lift with him from now on, but YABU about the rest.

oioimatey · 06/11/2022 00:07

P.s. I have also done this in an empty car park, and in a grassy field. I've not been out of control thankyouverymuch

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:08

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:05

Imagine if the guy did it with KIDS in the car. I bet half of these responses would be different.

Aye, or imagine he kicked the op, imagine he flashed , did a moonie out the window. Imagine lots of different things. Sure if he did something totally different the responses would be different, but he didn’t.

He clearly didn’t realise the op didn’t know what a donut was and would react so badly.

PS5Gamer · 06/11/2022 00:09

YABU for waffling on so much!

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:12

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 06/11/2022 00:06

But he didn't did he? FFS!

No he didn’t. That wouldn’t be ok. So why is it ok to do it to an adult? That’s my point. FFS!

LizzieW1969 · 06/11/2022 00:13

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:04

Can you not drive op? Every driver knows this is doing a donut. The fact you don’t even know the name of it tells me you can’t drive. It’s really common and if he has multiple cars and is a petrol head he likely is a good driver.

It’s really not a big deal . I understand it was to you. But he wouldn’t have been out of control of the car and you’d have been perfectly safe. Try to calm down, you are ok. You were always going to be ok

and yes your title does make people think it was something else. But I’m guessing you knew that.

I hadn’t heard the phrase ‘doing a donut’ before reading this thread and I’ve been driving for 29 years, so you really shouldn’t assume that all drivers know this! I have known drivers who do handbrake turns, though. (I was a young student then!)

I wouldn’t be scared in the OP’s shoes, as it was an empty car park, but I would really hate it now, as it would make me feel sick. I would also be very unimpressed.

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:15

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:08

Aye, or imagine he kicked the op, imagine he flashed , did a moonie out the window. Imagine lots of different things. Sure if he did something totally different the responses would be different, but he didn’t.

He clearly didn’t realise the op didn’t know what a donut was and would react so badly.

He clearly didn’t realise what a stupid move it was to make with a PASSENGER in. I’m a very nervous passenger having being involved in a car accident a couple of years ago so wouldn’t have appreciated a random surprise donut after a flight.

If he wants to do donuts he should do it alone with no passengers. Honestly some thick as f* opinions on here.

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:16

Also op it seems he was steering in the opposite direction, this is how you control a car in a skid , it stops the turning, so he clearly knows car control and knew what he was doing. He knew how to put his car into it and how to take it out of it again, safely.

I know it sounds odd to you but this is a manoeuvre that is done for fun. The risk is if you are with some twat who doesn’t know what they are doing. It does seem like this guy did.

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:17

I hadn’t heard the phrase ‘doing a donut’ before reading this thread and I’ve been driving for 29 years, so you really shouldn’t assume that all drivers know this! I have known drivers who do handbrake turns, though

yes you can also call it a hand break turn, either way you knew exactly what this was. So my point remains.

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:20

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:12

No he didn’t. That wouldn’t be ok. So why is it ok to do it to an adult? That’s my point. FFS!

What an odd point, are you Really saying you don’t understand the difference between adults and kids and want posters to help you? You wouldn’t do it with a child as you don’t want to teach them bad habits. Same like you’d not watch an over 18 movie with them, or any other shit you do as an adult you wouldn’t do with kids.

lifeinthehills · 06/11/2022 00:21

fannyfartlet · 05/11/2022 22:15

The point is to lose traction. That's how the car slides. It's done by turning off the traction control and the wheels spinning faster than they can grip. The idea of doing in a carpark is that there is plenty of open space so nothing to hit. The vehicle is also traveling at very slow speeds although the wheels are turning very quickly. It's perfectly safe in the right environment.

OP said he sped up first. I think I might have led a sheltered life. This is not and has never been normal or common behaviour among anyone I know. But OP is okay and can just decline rides from this man in the future since she's not comfortable with it. Maybe that was his intention, to get out of lifts in future?

kitnkaboodle · 06/11/2022 00:21

He was totally out of order - what a jerk. No - probably not dangerous but very very immature and inconsiderate. It might be harmless to do in your own car in the right environment, but with an unsuspecting passenger? You might as well jump out at them and shout boo! That would be an equivalent thing ... not at all dangerous and great fun .... not ...

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:24

Notacompetitiveundereater · 06/11/2022 00:20

What an odd point, are you Really saying you don’t understand the difference between adults and kids and want posters to help you? You wouldn’t do it with a child as you don’t want to teach them bad habits. Same like you’d not watch an over 18 movie with them, or any other shit you do as an adult you wouldn’t do with kids.

How am I showing I don’t understand the different between adults and kids?

My point is so many people are berating the OP and calling her a drama queen however would most likely be horrified if their dear children came home and said “My mates dad did a really big donut with us in the car”. That’s my point. Sorry if you don’t understand.

lifeinthehills · 06/11/2022 00:30

It would have been to at least check with OP if she minded first. Such a sudden move would probably trigger the neck injury I've battled for years and cost me a lot of time and money to get pain free again - because of the forces involved. Easy not to think of if you haven't experienced that sort of issue yourself though.

IWishICouldDance · 06/11/2022 00:41

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:05

Imagine if the guy did it with KIDS in the car. I bet half of these responses would be different.

But they weren't 🤷‍♀️.

Spookypig · 06/11/2022 00:44

You are massively overreacting and you would be unbelievably unreasonable to mention it to your friend!

FlissyPaps · 06/11/2022 00:46

IWishICouldDance · 06/11/2022 00:41

But they weren't 🤷‍♀️.

Christ. I know🙄

The point was so many are being nasty and calling the OP a drama queen but if it was kids in the car the same posters would be up in arms if their little darlings were in that situation.