Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Skidding Car - friend's husband today "couldn't resist the opportunity"

544 replies

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:02

Sorry, bit of a long one..

I flew back to the UK today and my friend's husband had kindly agreed to give me a lift home from the airport. Such a lovely gesture - saves me either a hefty taxi bill or 2+hrs on public transport. My friend lives close to me and her husband owns companies on the industrial estates near the airport , so he's always doing that route. I get on really well with both of them and their family, they're all lovely people, seem very happy and lead a very nice lifestyle. It was my friend who made the offer and we arranged a couple of weeks ago, he then followed up on text to say it's no problem just let him flight details etc which I did.

Anyway, we arranged for me to get the airport bus 10mins to the long stay carpark to avoid the airport fees, which makes sense. So I get there and he arrives shortly after. It's a massive carpark and pretty much empty so he pulls up right next to the little shelter thing, we say hi, he gives me a hand putting my bag in the boot and I get in and buckle up. As we pull away I'm saying thank you and was about to ask how everyone is, but he's smiling and says "sorry, just can't resist the opportunity..."

He then accelerates his car really quickly, turns and the whole car starts skidding sideways! The engine sounds incredibly loud and must be revving right up to full power and we're literally sliding on the wet carpark in a big circle, totally terrifying. I don't know if he was in control because the steering wheel was moving around quickly but didn't seem to correlate with the direction of the car. It's one of the most shocking things I've ever experienced and I don't like roller coasters etc.

He then slows, chuckles "just couldn't resist it" again and calmly drives to the barriers, exits smoothly towards the motorway, puts the radio on and then casually starts asking how my trip was.. as if that whole thing didn't happen! I tried to speak on the way home, to be polite and make small talk, but in all honesty I was feeling very ill and my legs were shaky 40mins later when he dropped me off.

Should I tell my friend what an abolosute idiot her husband actually is? On one had I really appreciate the gesture of giving me a lift and value our friendship, but on the other this was an incredibly dangerous and shocking incident she should be aware of.

It's so weird, because up until now I thought he was a really nice guy. But I just can't see him in the same way any more. I know he likes fast cars because she's told me that the stables at their house have been converted into garages and he has various cars in there. I've been in the car with him before and he's been a really good confident driver, very safe and smooth. He's in his early 50s FFS!

To make matters worse, I called my parents when home to say hi after my trip. I spoke to my Dad as even though he's in his 70s, he knows lots about cars and I explained what happened and he sort of laughed and said "well, once every now and again, why not eh..."
Seriously WTF?!?

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now.

Or is there a weird parallel universe I've just discovered where respectable, responsible, grown arse men with kids and wives and businesses, that should know better, see it as perfectly acceptable to be doing skidding and sliding and loud engine revving in their cars?

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 05/11/2022 23:03

Well OP I think I have strayed into a parallel universe
I never knew this was a 'thing' and it had a name 'donut'
in my life people drive cars in order to conveniently get themselves and their possessions from one place to another. They don't use them as playthings or as a way to demonstrate dominance and power which is what happened here I think. If this man's idea of fun is to perform tricks with a car in an empty carpark, he can perfectly well do it when he is alone, or he can ask his passenger if they like that sort of thing. He didn't do that so at the very least he was prioritising his fun over OP's comfort- poor behaviour.

AnnieSnap · 05/11/2022 23:04

I’m surprised how many posters think this was ‘just a bit of fun’. When he us alone maybe, or with someone who’s up for it. But randomly when a person gets in the car expecting normal driving behaviour, no, of course it isn’t and YANBU. I would have been rattled 40 minutes later too, wondering what the knob was going to do next!

Arenanewbie · 05/11/2022 23:07

I actually agree with @Unseelie
He is creep and twat, he could do it without you but he did this with you deliberately. The way he phrased it was especially creepy.
I would mention this to his wife but carefully, I’m sure she knows this and might tell him about your conversation. I also think that he has wanted emotional response from you so try not to give him any, like with toddler.
Tbh I would avoid him since now and of course wouldn’t go in the car with him.
And before people start piling again- he could do this without OP, he couldn’t resist temptation to put her in the situation when she felt scared and couldn’t control anything and for this he’s creep and twat.

ZombieMumEB · 05/11/2022 23:08

Unseelie · 05/11/2022 22:24

He scared you on purpose, he’s a creep. You were so shocked and upset that you were still shakey 40 minutes later, and he didn’t even notice? I don’t believe that. He knew.

He could have had a play with the car in the carpark before picking you up, or, having picked you up, he could have asked if you minded him doing some spins. Instead he chose to disempower and frighten you. What. A. Creep.

Very much this.

I am shocked with so many of the replies tbh, We have all been brainwashed into thinking men behaving like this is ok, it's all part of "boys will be boys".

I had similar experiences happen when I was a Uni student and passenger in a car with a male driver - they all drove dangerously and thought it was hilarious. When they stopped the car, I let them have it.

They all said they were in control of the vehicle - there is a reason why so many young male drivers die in car accidents.

I would let your friend know that her DH is an idiot.

PassThePringles · 05/11/2022 23:15

Sorry, not sorry but my partner and I just had a right good giggle as I read this out to him!

ZombieMumEB · 05/11/2022 23:17

Just to add - a number of years ago, it was raining and from inside my house I heard a car doing a donut at the entrance of my street. I heard the car slide, then heard it hit a tree. It was a sickening experience. Driver was ok and denied to the police that he was doing donuts.

My kids often stood on this corner chatting to their friends after the bus dropped them off, and I was so relieved they weren't there that moment (they were inside), but it happened at a time when they would often be there.

I was then always paranoid about them walking in the neighbourhood, which I knew was irrational, and it upset me that one male's actions had this impact on me.

NumberTheory · 05/11/2022 23:17

Unseelie · 05/11/2022 22:24

He scared you on purpose, he’s a creep. You were so shocked and upset that you were still shakey 40 minutes later, and he didn’t even notice? I don’t believe that. He knew.

He could have had a play with the car in the carpark before picking you up, or, having picked you up, he could have asked if you minded him doing some spins. Instead he chose to disempower and frighten you. What. A. Creep.

He may well not have any idea OP was scared. She said she didn’t say anything and he’d just picked her up after a long journey so could easily have thought any quietness was just being weary form the journey.

What he did is not dangerous, it can be thrilling. Lots of people (including lots of women) enjoy that sort of thing from time to time. It might just not have occurred to him that OP would be upset by it. If he’s always come across as a nice guy before it’s strange to jump to the conclusion that he did it to deliberately upset OP rather than because he assumed she’d enjoy it too.

Tessabelle74 · 05/11/2022 23:18

"Incredibly dangerous" in an empty car park? Your knicker elastic is obviously a bit tight!

MigsandTiggs · 05/11/2022 23:22

Sorry, I've just never been skidding in an out of control car before.

And it sounds like you still haven't been in a skidding, out of control car. The fact that the wheel was turned in the opposite direction to that of travel shows that the driver* was *doing a controlled skid.

I used to practise hand brake skidding on snow in an empty car park when I had to drive to the ski slopes every weekend when dc were training. I've also been on a skid pan with an instructor to be more confident in an aqua-planing situation.
He could have given you better warning but YABU.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/11/2022 23:24

So AIBU to be so shocked and upset by this? I still feel nauseous now

Yes YABU. Calm yourself woman. Honestly. Yes it was bad behaviour. Yes I wouldn't have liked it (my dad used to pull shit like this, showing off). YABU to be churning it over like this.

SeenYourArse · 05/11/2022 23:28

Wow you are a drama queen 😂😂😂 tell me you didn’t have a misspent youth on McDonalds car parks in Escort RS Turbos without telling me 🤣
Shaking and feeling nauseous after 40 mins is absolute nonsense and ridiculous, get over yourself love you’re making a fool of yourself with this tosh.

Ineedmysay · 05/11/2022 23:32

Haven't read the whole thread cos I just don't have that time, but as a girl who spent her youth going to rallys and driving fast cars. I'd have said sccot over and give me a go , but he clearly got his audience wrong and for that op I can understand your reaction

OohMrBingley · 05/11/2022 23:32

AnnieSnap · 05/11/2022 23:04

I’m surprised how many posters think this was ‘just a bit of fun’. When he us alone maybe, or with someone who’s up for it. But randomly when a person gets in the car expecting normal driving behaviour, no, of course it isn’t and YANBU. I would have been rattled 40 minutes later too, wondering what the knob was going to do next!

It’s not normal - it’s weird and it’s never happened to me.

But to be moved to come onto MN and gauge opinions about it?

Hardly.

Heartsofstone · 05/11/2022 23:34

I’d have said let’s have a go!
jeez you’ve got a dim life of that is all it takes to shock you.

Highfivemum · 05/11/2022 23:38

We all have different standards but you don’t need to lose friends over it. It is an easy fix. Don’t get a lift again. Problem over

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/11/2022 23:41

What is it with these oddly misleading thread titles? I was expecting him to make a pass at you in the car, maybe even a bum slap as you got out.

Cuppasoupmonster · 05/11/2022 23:46

Stravaig · 05/11/2022 20:51

Playing boy racer in an empty public car park is juvenile but his call. Forcing it on his passenger without warning or consent is a display of dominance and very much not okay. He is a collosal wanker and I'd make sure I never travel with him again. However I'd have yelled at him to stop the car if I wasn't happy - why didn't you?

A ‘collosal’ wanker?

Yelling at him to stop the car?

This has to go into classics

OohMrBingley · 05/11/2022 23:47

Classics…?!

I don’t think so.

Cosycover · 05/11/2022 23:48

Oh my goodness!

Who will play you in the movie?

unwillingantisocial · 05/11/2022 23:48

This thread is hilarious!!!

Who would have thought such a topic could be so divisive on MN?

I have to admit I’m not part of the ‘donut set’ so would honestly be agog if someone did this with me in their car but it wouldn’t put me off them for life.

MightyOaks · 05/11/2022 23:52

user1471462115 · 05/11/2022 19:17

I have a severe vertigo, that I don’t tell many people about. He would have been cleaning up vomit had he done that to me,

you are so very much not unreasonable, and I would need 48 hours to recover the ability to stand

🙄🤣🤣🤣

MightyOaks · 05/11/2022 23:53

alwaysmovingforwards · 05/11/2022 19:21

The title says "couldn't resist the opportunity" because he said it twice. It really resonated with me because never in my life have I seen an empty car park as an "opportunity" to do something like that!

Sorry, I've just never been skidding in an out of control car before.
But obviously more acceptable than I thought <shrug>

If a moderator wants to change it to "car skidding" or something then fine if people are making their own leaps.

The car wasn't out of control though?

Would I be right in presuming you don't drive, OP??

drkpl · 05/11/2022 23:54

oh for lords sake

PinotPony · 05/11/2022 23:54

I think the more important issue here is why on earth your dad didn't teach you how to safely do a donut when you were younger. It might not be too late...

Nutmeg321 · 05/11/2022 23:55

I would have been absolutely furious. I prob would have demanded to be let out of the car asap and just got public transport home. That sort of thing would terrify me.