To refuse these baby names?

[Babynamedramallama]

My partner wants to use family names for our baby, (think old fashioned Ethel and Edgar) he has a daughter from his previous marriage and his ex wife wouldn’t allow him to use family names for her middle name. He’s got his heart set on naming our baby after his grandmother or grandfather, depending on the gender, he’s very excited and assumed it will happen without asking, but the truth is I hate the names. Regardless of being family names I wouldn’t force a child to live out their life with these awful suggestions. I understand he wants to continue their memory through our children, but he wants 2/3 middle names that won’t flow and will sound ridiculous out loud. He hasn’t even offered if I had names I like or relatives I’d like to name our children after. It’s starting to really upset me and feels hurtful, as I feel pressured to say yes to avoiding hurting his feelings. I don’t know how to broach the subject and be clear it’s a no before it gets to the birth, without offending him or his family who I am very close with. We have different taste in names in general so I knew it would be difficult but I never expected to have this pushed on me as he’d never mentioned it pre pregnancy. Fwiw my dd has a name in the top 10 and so does his dd, which I’d like to continue with, a name straight from the war era will be very unusual together. I know many old names are making a come back, but I’m confident not these ones! Can anyone share their stories how they worked around this situation please?

Why are you tying yourself in knots trying to be kind?

His previous wife was so desperate about this problem that she registered the baby herself.

You need to be very firm and completely blunt.

"I'm sorry if my politeness has been misinterpreted as consent. But now I see that you're not taking my hints, so I'm going to be blunt. Over my cold, dead body will our baby be given any of those names."

And let the chips fall where they may.

Sophie and James are nice first names.

Sophie Margaret or Sophie Ethel could work. I think James works with the three names you mentioned - James Edgar would probably be the better one? Hard to tell without knowing your last name. Eg James Edgar Robinson - not a bad fit.

You should both be able to veto any name you don’t like. I would compromise on middle names though, they really aren’t an extension, they are barely used. I am loving Edgar though, I wouldn’t mind that as a first name even. 😊

Some of them are ok. Margaret, Sylvia ( or Sylvie) and Edgar aren't names that would get laughed at as middle names.

Sorry but I agree with you, hideous names!
You've got to tell him today so he doesn't t tell everyone!

No, sorry, just no, they’re awful. And I’m over 60 but I wouldn’t want any of the grandkids to have those. Stick to your guns OP — you choose first name, he can have 2 middle names ( but please not Peggy)

If they’re taking his surname then you get final say on the first name. Compromise by choosing one middle name each. If he insists on names you don’t like them you insist on a middle name he hates. You can veteo each other.
Sylvia and Edgar or Wilbur are all fine as middle names.

They are absolutely awful names. I would refuse, just as his ex wife did. Or choose just one as a 3rd name (to be excluded from forms and quietly forgotten.
You cannot saddle your baby with these. Choose a new name for them and put your foot down.

I think Ethel is the worst one of all.

Just seen this is an old thread. What did you call baby?