Anyone else in their 30s and worried?

[NairobiGal]

Of course this might apply to other age groups but I can only speak for myself. I'm in my 30s. Saved and saved to get a mortgage which years ago would have been possible on my wage. Now, once I've saved enough to get a 5% mortgage, it's not possible and my savings are rapidly declining because my wage no no longer covers everything. I'm lucky to be in a position where I have a bit saved, as some of my friends have nothing and are getting further and further into debt. I'm worried that by the time we are out of this mess, if we are ever out of it, my savings will be next to gone, I'll be back to square one, and will be nearly 50 by the time I can save enough to get a mortgage. I know owning a house isn't the be all and end all, but I'm so disheartened that I spent all those years saving and it's now going on rent, groceries, fuel. Etc. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm just fed up. For instance when my parents were on a similar equivalent to my wage when I was younger, they could afford a holiday every year. I've never taken my son on holiday and he's 4. I'm not entitled to a holiday but things have changed so much. I thought things were meant to get better for each generation. Not worse. I'm really struggling.

Try being 45. I am fucked. I was last chance saloon and now it's not going to happen for me despite saving most of my adult life. You have loads of time left

I'm 41 and still don't own. I'm determined I will though. DH and I earn a fair bit between us.

Renting would not be such a bad thing if it was reasonably priced, but rents are so high. Having an increase in mortgage rates might just be doable, if everything else hadn't also gone up so much. But facing rises in energy costs, housing costs, and food costs, of the size we've seen recently, all at the same time, is frightening whatever age you are.

It's really sad @Stickystitch that you're in that situation. People in work shouldn't have to make the decision between having children and just affording the basic . We've really lost our way as a society. So much could be improved if we just accepted that there are some advantages to socialism in the right areas. Such as social housings, we'd all be far far better off as a society if we had a decent level of social housing. But no, socially democratic policies like that are evil and akin to communism. We can't possibly allow the wealthy to forego some profit for the sake of society. 🙍

Of course it matters! You were comparing yourself to your parents at the same age saying when they were your age they owned a house and could go on holidays but these things were now impossible for you and most people your age....then said actually when you were even younger you DID own a home so it clearly isn't that impossible at all.

In your particular case your situation is a result of your individual personal circumstances (regardless of the fact that you are not to blame for them!) not overall societal ones.

What do you mean by a "very very long time?" Because I don't think single mothers ever lived a financially secure life of ease (not to mention free from social judgement!)? When were things so much better for women who escaped abusive marriages? The 1950s? 1890s?

Im not saying that you've done the wrong thing or should have made different choices, just that you are comparing apples with oranges.

@bigbluebus yep. It’s really tough. I don’t blame your son.

We’re early-mid 20s, professionals and renting, both earning the average income full time. My parents bought their wonderful detached family home in a safe, family-friendly area and raised us all there from babies to adults. The same size mortgage they had less than 30 years ago would now get you a one bed flat in a below average part of town. Salaries haven’t gone up that much. I’m not sure how young people are supposed to buy.

The average salary should buy you the average house, certainly should if two people earn averagely. It doesn’t. That’s a big problem.

Yes, I'm worried about housing costs in general. We don't have any savings and we are renting. The plan was to buy in a couple of years but the way prices are going, I don't think we'll even be close to having a reasonable deposit together.

And rental costs are insane. I saw an advert for a place the other day that was 1700 a month with a deposit of nearly 5k. We are luckily on a much cheaper old contract and we live in another European country where rent is not allowed to be suddenly raised but if we had to move out of this flat, then we'll be stuck with crazy high prices and then who knows how long it will take us to save up.

I'm worried that by the time we have the savings to get a mortgage we'll be too old. But I hope to get back to work next year so maybe we'll get ahead then.

Yes, tried saving for years, yes we have 2 dc shoot me now how dare we have children, got given early hefty inheritance for a deposit which dh gambled so now I am in my 30s trying to save, feel like I've wanted to buy forever and worry I will be too old/not enough deposit/can't borrow enough on single wage and yes I work 2 jobs.

Also not rocket science is the knowledge that fertility declines with age. We are sold this idea that women can just put off having babies for their career or to save for a house etc and it will just happen easily in their 40’s but that’s not the case for many. If you’re heading into your 30s and still not at the point where you can afford a home, of course lots of women are going to choose to have a baby anyway before that choice is taken out of their hands. It’s not poor planning; it’s playing the hand you’ve been dealt. That doesn’t mean you don’t reserve the right to have a bit of a whinge on Mumsnet about how shit the situation is.

DH and I in our 50s.
Married almost 25 years. Have 13yrs left on mortgage.
We didn’t take our kids on holiday until they were 11 & 12 and that was 4 days camping in a tent in Weymouth in the rain.
We’ve only ever been on caravan holidays since then and we take all our food with us so we don’t spend or eat out while we’re there.
When the kids were little we only had the heating on if it was freezing. We often went to bed early just to keep warm.
Now the kids are 15 & 16 they still walk around the house in t-shirts in the winter because they are used to the cooler temp.
Always shopped at cheap places. Always dressed them in hand me downs from family, friends or eBay.
Presents were always seconds from eBay and when they were very little they got nothing because they didn’t even know it was their birthday or Christmas.
We have a roof over our heads and are well.
I always thing things could be so much worse.
Its shit being in your position OP but things will change slowly but surely. Things will get better for you I’m sure.

Love this!! Heheh

The suggested amount you need for a deposit on the size of house we need is as much as an old 2 up 2 down costs in my head 😩

I feel sorry for a lot of people in their thirties, or anyone who is struggling to afford the basics, ie housing.

I was worried a lot, now I’m just slightly worried…I think.

Partner left, I’m pregnant with my second. First is 11. Was left paying £1200 rent on my own up north.

Mum came to the rescue and now we have JUST moved to a mortgage free 3 bed house stuck in the sixties with bad electrics and an ancient kitchen. But it’s ours.

Mum lives with me as part of the deal, eg I get a 275k house and in return she doesn’t need to work or pay bills. She will help bring up my daughter when she’s here in a couple of months.

So now I don’t have to worry about finding the rent money but I do have to worry about how to finance property repairs etc. Also worry about going back to work after 3 months maternity due to affordability. Worry that my daughter will know my mum and not me as I’ll be working to support us all. But….I think now we have some more stability life should get better. Fingers crossed….

Mid 30s here and worried too.

Always had a low wage (min) but everything is going up- including trusty ebay, charity shops and marketplace which I've always used to shop in. Old worn, bobbled t shirts for the kids, I could in the past pick up for £1-2, now they're priced at £8,toys on market place have 5-10 knocked off the retail price. This is ontop of the fuel, energy, food, petrol, public transport prices. I'm exhausted by it all and there seems to be no restbite from the past few years.

Yes it is @Hayliebells and we have 'good jobs' too. We could probably make it work if we desperately wanted kids, but I really don't think it's a brilliant idea to start raising children in a 1 bedroom flat, next to a busy main road. The state of the social housing system and the joke of 'affordable' housing developments makes me so sad.

In fact, thinking about it, the only people I know I their 30s/early 40s who have kids are the ones who managed to buy homes in their mid to late 20s - and this is only because ALL of them inherited money, or their parents helped. I suspect there will be a lot of permanently child free millennials in the future.

Why "should" it?

Supply and demand rules, not what people subjectively think "should" be.

@FarmGirl78, my son works 45 hours in his job but does also work on a Sunday with a local builder as labourer but only when builder is busy. He lives at home just buying food and will cook a couple of meals each week, unload dishwasher and put away dishes, empty bin and unload big shop and put away when it gets delivered. He isn't lazy.

I think those of us in our 30s have actually had it quite easy if we made use of the available opportunities. It's the ones younger than us who have it harder. I'm 31. Husband is 34.
I've spent my full 20s advancing my career (continuous uni alongside working and 2 promotions) and we have flipped 2 houses and made great profit (No inheritances). We are now in a very good position in a large detached house in a nice area, with a large amount equity. I would never have achieved any of that had I had children. Thats just a fact. Also life over the past 7 years has been very frugal, only 2 holidays, 1 cheap car (no pcp) shared between us, kept outgoings as low as possible. Did all the renovation work on prev 2 houses and our current one ourselves. So we have always lived in a reno our full relationship which we are sick of now to be honest. I appreciate there's been a large degree of luck for us, able to buy at right time and sell at right time. Husband in trades so reno costs cheap. But we have also sacrificed. I think the reality of the modern world is that you need 2 wages, its impossible single and i really feel for those people. You need to spend a full decade minimum advancing your career and climbing the property ladder alongside. Kids too soon in life will definitely set people back now, thats just a fact unfortunately. Both my siblings and several friends have followed the same path as us and are similarly in good positions like us. Only now are people I know starting to have children, with many saying they will only have 1 child.

But supply is a political choice, so prices are a political choice. Therefore I think "should" is an appropriate term to use, as government policies significantly affect prices, we as a nation do have some control over them, so they could be lower of we voted for it. If we had a government that allowed more housing to be built, or just built appropriate social housing, prices would be lower and a couple on two decent incomes could buy. If we had a mass building programme of social housing, of appropriately sized family accommodation, that would bring down house prices. Instead we're reliant on the private sector to build, and they only build what will generate the most profit. They don't build what is the housing that is the most necessary in our communities, and they don't build in a way that might reduce prices.

"I think those of us in our 30s have actually had it quite easy if we made use of the available opportunities. It's the ones younger than us who have it harder. I'm 31. Husband is 34.
I've spent my full 20s advancing my career (continuous uni alongside working and 2 promotions) and we have flipped 2 houses and made great profit (No inheritances). We are now in a very good position in a large detached house in a nice area, with a large amount equity."

Same.
I'm 38, DH is 40.
When we were in our 20s and our friends were having lovely holidays, we went without and saved for a deposit instead. When we were 25 and 27 we bought a scruffy 1.5-bed flat that needed work, in a less than desirable part of town. We did that place up and moved to a 2-bed terraced house - again, very scruffy and in a seriously rough part of town. Did that up too.
We're now in a 4 bed detached house in a pretty market town on the edge of a national park, with a small mortgage. Again, our house needs work and we're doing this one up too, but will stay in this house for the long term.
We've killed ourselves to get here, doing diy EVERY weekend for 13 years.
The opportunities have been there for those of us in our 30s.
However, I think the younger generation is truly fucked. When we saved our house deposit, our rent was only £620 a month - someone today would be paying £1000 for the same property, which really impacts your ability to save on a low wage.

We have bought a house recently and are around the 30 mark. We are undecided about having kids (leaning towards not as we love the double income with no commitments) but absolutely would never have considered procreating prior to purchasing property. I would urge anyone struggling to do the same, wait it out and prioritise buying and creating a stable home for a family before adding the most hefty and long-term financial commitment you'll ever make.

When did people start expecting that each generation will do better financially/materially than the last? I've seen people say this a few times over the last five or ten years and always find it surprising.

Surely that's progression? If life expectancy reduces or education standards go backwards łA

oops!

go backwards what is the point?

I've spent my full 20s advancing my career (continuous uni alongside working and 2 promotions) and we have flipped 2 houses and made great profit (No inheritances). We are now in a very good position in a large detached house in a nice area, with a large amount equity."

I'm a Londoner & would have really struggled to save enough deposit without cheap rent living at home & gifted help.