Anyone else in their 30s and worried?

[NairobiGal]

Of course this might apply to other age groups but I can only speak for myself. I'm in my 30s. Saved and saved to get a mortgage which years ago would have been possible on my wage. Now, once I've saved enough to get a 5% mortgage, it's not possible and my savings are rapidly declining because my wage no no longer covers everything. I'm lucky to be in a position where I have a bit saved, as some of my friends have nothing and are getting further and further into debt. I'm worried that by the time we are out of this mess, if we are ever out of it, my savings will be next to gone, I'll be back to square one, and will be nearly 50 by the time I can save enough to get a mortgage. I know owning a house isn't the be all and end all, but I'm so disheartened that I spent all those years saving and it's now going on rent, groceries, fuel. Etc. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm just fed up. For instance when my parents were on a similar equivalent to my wage when I was younger, they could afford a holiday every year. I've never taken my son on holiday and he's 4. I'm not entitled to a holiday but things have changed so much. I thought things were meant to get better for each generation. Not worse. I'm really struggling.

It's shit. DH and I seriously considering moving abroad. Sadly there's very little here for us in return for working ourselves to the bone.

@SUSB2016

are u gonna move abroad then?

I agree, our childcare costs far exceed our mortgage (and it would be the same for rent too). It seems unfair but I think it’s also life unfortunately.
Life was different for my parents but then equally they married when they were 19 & 21 and didn’t have children until they were 29 and 31. My dad worked ridiculous jobs all over the country and Europe to ensure they got to where they were when they had us. They also didn’t buy things that they couldn’t afford or take things out on credit because it wasn’t as easy as it is now. People complain about how much harder it is now but actually we’re a lot more entitled than they were back then and can’t seem to go without the newest car/ phone etc.

Ummmm no. People aren't in control their timelines. How much money they might make in 5 years. How long it will take to have children etc. So what, you wait to be able to afford a house, but you can't afford a house until you have a decent enough wage because house prices are so high, you arent hitting the desired wage because you aren't getting promoted as quickly because retirement age is increasing, then you can't have children because it's getting harder because you waited too late. This is what lots of women are facing in this current economy. Don't blame them.

Errrr no @NairobiGal

it doesn’t take a genius to work out that having kids at 22 when you r unlikely to have an established career, savings etc will be a harder path to go down….

that’s why many people do feel it’s better to wait til U are in a more secure position

I am in my thirties and this describes us very well. Parents live too far away for childcare duties so that’s a massive cost (and wouldn’t expect them to anyway) but they’ve always been incredibly generous. They are the much hated boomers with pensions 3 x my nursing salary and made ££££ on house prices. They are however acutely aware of their ‘luck’ and have tried to help us where possible.

Things are still tight but for example they recently gave us £5k to help with all the extra costs and a few big unexpected bills (boiler and car packing in). Without them we would have gone into serious debt. We are so lucky and I feel hugely for the OP and others on similar situations. I also feel guilt that I’ll never be able to support my children financially in the way they have supported us. It’s crap!

I suppose having common sense is luck in your view

Yes I am worried.

I had a baby in September and am now on maternity leave, and once my enhanced pay stops am planning to use savings I've kept (and saved over years) for this purpose to get me through to a year, and then try and build some up again when I'm back at work as a safety net for bigger expenses like car repairs etc.

But my mortgage is up next October so I'll need to remortgage at the new rates so my payments will increase massively. Everything is increasing so rapidly, I'm worried I'm going to wipe out my savings just living until I go back to work and then won't have anything spare to put aside for a rainy day. I've not been in this position before and it's really worrying.

I don't think young people self-harming over financial worries is about 'oh, I thought I'd be able to buy a house and I can't/can't yet.' If someone is really self-harming over that they have issues and find it hard to roll with the changing circumstances we will face in life.

If someone is self-harming due to finances it's maybe due to debt etc, financial problems, not due to not having what they want when they want it. It's not really comparable.

I had DD before we bought a house but we were very very frugal and bought a victorian 2 bed 2 up 2 down. I had seen many wanting a new build 3 bed semi borrowing the very max with cars on credit as well.

Some of the comments on here are just beyond words. I think families who rent are very under-represented on here, quite generally. As others have said, some can’t wait and some don’t want to wait to have children until they can buy property. Of course property ownership should be everyone’s goal because of the country we live in but renting in other countries is normal. If you’re late 30s and wanting your first baby but the goalposts for buying keep shifting, if you wait until you are in a mortgaged house (where you still owe the bank by the way) that decision might cost you the decision to have DC/have multiple DC as there could be problems you didn’t know about and then it’s too late.

Sympathy, OP. I'm in my 30s and we do own but that's largely down to luck in various different ways. I have several friends who are older and still rent. Financially it's galling, but it isn't in any way an indication of their success at life.

I just feel so sorry for everyone caught up in this shitty mess.

@CurlsandSwirls yes I had help with childcare, still have help & had a chunky gifted deposit.

To be honest OP I would wait the market won't survive this anyway. Things are reducing in my area and supply is up. I would hold off buying for a year or two.

This is my favourite comment I’ve ever seen on mumsnet 😁

@HangOnToYourself are you me?

There's a lot of nasty posters on this thread. My own thoughts on it all are that owning a property isn't the be all and end all of everything as people seem to think it is. Just sit tight, try to save, prices will come down. It's a shame there isn't more affordable rental property or social housing though. I absolutely detest the rise in buy to let landlords, there should be a lot more social housing. People need stable places to live particularly if bringing up kids. I also dislike this idea that you have to have everything straight away. Twenty years ago in our early thirties we bought a do-er upper, it is still being done up. Our furniture was from second hand shops or relatives that were getting rid of stuff. The young friends I have now want everything now - all brand new, usually on credit. They want the for bed with playroom and home office, two cars on the drive, amazing kitchen, foreign holidays and weekends away every few weeks, days out every weekend. It's just not do-able and people should lower their expectations.

We had our baby in private rented. We couldn't afford to buy til I was 38. I was hardly going to wait til then to have a baby! Some people are so smug. Just roll with it and have your kids when you want them.

This exactly. People wanting to buy need to not panic, sit tight, be frugal. things will re-balance.

There are eight billion people on the planet, all competing for clean water, edible food, a livelihood, sanitation, etc., and HOUSING.

In the "good old days" that people like to hark back to, when housing was more affordable, there were several billion fewer humans on the planet. Among other factors like a less global, more local economy, cheaper fuel, etc.

If anyone thinks that doubling the number of humans over the past 40-50 years isn't going to have economic effects, and make competition for scarce resources more and more difficult, and make sure that each succeeding generation is NOT going to prosper, they are kidding themselves.

It's too bad the zero population growth people were scoffed at in the 1970s. We are reaping now what has been sown. Things are never going to get any easier, so it's best to manage expectations. Old norms, like home ownership, are not the "new normal."

Out of interest.... does your Son do overtime or have a second job? I really don't wish to sound smug, but that's the only way I saved enough. I genuinely don't know if this was the norm or I was nuts for doing it. Do 20/30somethings work second jobs these days?

(Yes I am aware I sound like an old crinkly saying "I remember when all this wer fields" 🤣)

Out of interest.... does your Son do overtime or have a second job? I really don't wish to sound smug, but that's the only way I saved enough. I genuinely don't know if this was the norm or I was nuts for doing it. Do 20/30somethings work second jobs these days?

In my 20/30s I worked really long hours in one job, I don't think it's unusual.

It's too bad the zero population growth people were scoffed at in the 1970s. We are reaping now what has been sown.

But in much of the west including the U.K., population growth has been driven by immigration & people living longer. Birth rates are well below replacement rate hence why we have an ageing population which is a huge problem on the horizon