Anyone else in their 30s and worried?

[NairobiGal]

Of course this might apply to other age groups but I can only speak for myself. I'm in my 30s. Saved and saved to get a mortgage which years ago would have been possible on my wage. Now, once I've saved enough to get a 5% mortgage, it's not possible and my savings are rapidly declining because my wage no no longer covers everything. I'm lucky to be in a position where I have a bit saved, as some of my friends have nothing and are getting further and further into debt. I'm worried that by the time we are out of this mess, if we are ever out of it, my savings will be next to gone, I'll be back to square one, and will be nearly 50 by the time I can save enough to get a mortgage. I know owning a house isn't the be all and end all, but I'm so disheartened that I spent all those years saving and it's now going on rent, groceries, fuel. Etc. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm just fed up. For instance when my parents were on a similar equivalent to my wage when I was younger, they could afford a holiday every year. I've never taken my son on holiday and he's 4. I'm not entitled to a holiday but things have changed so much. I thought things were meant to get better for each generation. Not worse. I'm really struggling.

My boomer parents worked three jobs each (a week day job, evening job and Saturday job) to save their house deposit. Doing DIY is our equivalent.

"My boomer parents bought their family home in the 80s for about 50k & those houses sell for 1.8m plus today. My mum didn't work but did do lots of diy."

My parents home was only £8.5k in 1975! My mum worked for the Council through the week, in a pub over the road during the evening and in a hosiery factory on a Saturday. My dad worked a 12 hour shift Monday to Friday driving dumper trucks during the building of the M69, then came home and worked as a taxi driver.
He doesn't remember sleeping.

Cross post! I knew it!

There you go, you love doing it. Good for you. But can you really sneer at people who don't love it, who have other commitments, who may have restructure health or mobility issues, for not killing themselves for 13 years doing something they don't love as you do?

You enjoyed it, you loved doing it. It was hard work, but was it quite the noble sacrifice you initially implied, with all others just thinking they were too good for it?

restructure = restrictive. Fuck you, autocorrect.

We are not in exceptionally well paid jobs and we didn’t get free family childcare either, we got to where we are today through planning, hard-work and sacrifices.

Which is fine, but there are an awful lot of people like me who do have good jobs/partners with good jobs & have lots of help. Yes we work hard but family background contributes to that. I already said I had/have significant help with childcare & everyone I know has bought with family help, & not insignificant help but 6 figure help. I cannot lambast others for not planning or sacrificing because in truth I haven't.

@WifeMotherWorker agreed.
But from the vitriol I'm getting up thread, I think people expect to do as they please through their 20s without any eye on the future, then cruise into a smart new build home aged 35, without any sacrifice 🤷🏼‍♀️

Then call it a day and head out with our dog for a long walk, before getting dressed up and going into town for dinner and drinks or to see friends.

Slightly disingenuous, when i've "killed" myself at work of doing diy I don't have the energy to go out in the evenings.

Who is being vitriolic? What offensive things have been said?

Yep it's going to be difficult for so many people.
You get slaughtered on here for suggesting someone gets married / has a career / buys a house before they have kids though.
Then they come on and moan 5 years later they can't afford a house, it's quite annoying

@WifeMotherWorker

You have a choice in your 20’s… you can work hard, make sacrifices and save your arse off or you can go on holiday, nights out, get Starbucks and buy new clothes

The point I'm making is that I & many like me don't have to make that choice, yes I saved but I enjoyed myself a lot & I still have a home. I think by the time I saved 200k by making sacrifices I would have be priced out anyway.

Yeah it’s confusing!!! We had very few luxuries in our 20’s because we were laser focused on buying a family home. Our kids didn’t go on an abroad holiday until they were 8 and 5 respectively, up until that point it was camping. I worked part time until they were both in school then I worked full time utilising the breakfast and after school clubs. They are now teenagers and we have annual holidays and take them out all the time for days out and food. I know way too many people that don’t want to sacrifice holidays, take-aways, coffees out and shopping. Which is fine just don’t moan about having no savings. It’s a choice.

@WifeMotherWorker how old are you?

43

*runjy · Today 07:49

Then call it a day and head out with our dog for a long walk, before getting dressed up and going into town for dinner and drinks or to see friends.*

"Slightly disingenuous, when i've "killed" myself at work of doing diy I don't have the energy to go out in the evenings."

😅 OK, you got me, you win.
Doing up homes for 13 years was actually a piece of piss!
...so anyone can do it, right? 😉

The dog and dinner/drinks/friends thing is irrelevant to the topic, so I'm assuming you have included them to show what a fabulous and enviable life you have despite killing yourself for 13 years. (I didn't know pets and social circles were that unusual.) You are open about the fact that you love getting up early, going to Screwfix and doing DIY all day. That was obvious, tbh.

Good for you, and I mean that sincerely. It is always good when people can live the life they want, and I'm sure nobody begrudges you that.

But...it's not exactly your parents working 12 hour shifts in shitty jobs they hated or whatever you said, is it? By your account, the stuff you needed to do to get the home you wanted is stuff you loved doing and your dream life, with a dog and dinner and drinks or whatever. It was probably what you'd have been doing anyway, because you love it.

That's great for you, but do you not see that it somewhat changes the tone to live your fabulous dream life getting your ideal home, while telling everyone else they're just superior and lazy for not making sacrifices, or killing themselves for 13 years?

She doesn't exactly sound crazy to me. Pretty spot on tbf.

I own a flat but I think for my generation in London, it's quite hard to afford a house in north London as the ones in the areas with good schools are all £1.4 million. You can sacrifice to buy a flat but you can't really sacrifice your way to £1.4 million without significant help from parents or high earnings. Those houses were never occupied by the rich in the past.

I am happy with a 3 bed flat however and will be upsizing to that. Tbh we haven't done worse than the last generation as we bought a flat at the same age as MIL and her ex, and could probably afford to buy MIL's terrace in north London as it is in the same price bracket as the family flats I am considering (in good catchment areas). MIL never really cared about school catchments as she is orthodox. Jewish. However MIL insists that she had below average income during her time and I think we are average in London. However she had significant financial help and I guess so did we but in the form of rent free living at home for 3 years (though to be fair MIL's ex had 10 years living rent free at home!). But still all they could buy at age 27 and 29 was a 1 bed flat in north London while we bought a 2 bed flat. So it's hard to say what we could have afforded if we were buying in the 1990s.

You're complaining about vitriol while calling me names?

I do agree with this I think people can be blindsided by how much they want a child without tooooo much though for their or their child’s future

Honestly I have worked with people much younger than me and I can see the level of fast fashion, food and entitlement of my children’s generation. Yes we are in challenging economic times and if you want to get on the property ladder something has to give. Kirsty Alsop made a similar observation and was flamed but I see people on a daily basis would rather spend £3.50 on an iced chai latte and £4.50 on a mozzarella pesto ciabatta than make their own lunch, then moan they have no money.

Doing up homes for 13 years was actually a piece of piss!
...so anyone can do it, right?

How have you got that from my posts? Most people can paint, sand even wallpaper with a bit of practice & many people do. Wouldn't say that was killing yourself though.

Op in your situation I’d say ‘fuck it’ look for a remote job and once got it, move wherever I wanted with a lower cost of living/higher salary. In the UK, not in the UK, whatever. I know you have a child/children, but two or three years of an adventure where you keep your savings/have bought/hang on to your financial stability would be priceless.

have a look at this instagram.
instagram.com/cheapirishgetaways?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

43

To be fair the OP is in her 30s, it's a very different landscape today. I'm almost 40 & if I had done exactly the same steps as I did but just was a little older (2/3 yrs) then I would have a million pounds equity.

It reminds me of when I was a youngster, house prices were through the roof and some sneery older lady told me I should have bought in the 90s.

I tried, but I couldn't see over the mortgage adviser's counter at the bank...

It sucks to be so cautious though. DH and I married at 22 but postponed any wedding celebration until we saved up a £70k deposit. Lived with MIL for three years. We bought our flat in 2019 and I am trying to buy a bigger flat before we have a baby (and only one child). I am 30.

Meanwhile my SIL had a 30k wedding celebration (mainly funded by her grandpa and groom's family)..she had a baby last month and is still renting (albeit in a country which has even less rental protection than the UK and where home ownership is the default).

Everyone is cooing over the baby and saying it's silly to plan so much. I think many people just don't plan as much but have babies because ironically they may get more parental help after the baby. You are probably ok with single kids moving from flat share to flat share. You are probably less ok with grandkids living in premier Inn after an eviction. I think many people could be right on that front- SIL would be a home owner one day, I don't doubt it as someone would probably give her money at some stage even if they had to remortgage their house or forgo an inheritance. I could probably have taken that strategy but I just don't think I could have a baby and expect my wealthy family to bail me out. I might have come from a comfortable background but it's just not how I was raised. My parents were self made and taught me every generation pays for itself Meanwhile SIL grew up with her mum being supported by grandparents etc and this seems quite normal in the west- grandparents paying for grandchildren and they offer more help the more cute babies you produce. It's like family welfare. DH doesn't have that view, I think his grandpa raised him with the belief he must provide for his mum and three sisters (probably hoping he would get off the hook at some stage).