Anyone else in their 30s and worried?

[NairobiGal]

Of course this might apply to other age groups but I can only speak for myself. I'm in my 30s. Saved and saved to get a mortgage which years ago would have been possible on my wage. Now, once I've saved enough to get a 5% mortgage, it's not possible and my savings are rapidly declining because my wage no no longer covers everything. I'm lucky to be in a position where I have a bit saved, as some of my friends have nothing and are getting further and further into debt. I'm worried that by the time we are out of this mess, if we are ever out of it, my savings will be next to gone, I'll be back to square one, and will be nearly 50 by the time I can save enough to get a mortgage. I know owning a house isn't the be all and end all, but I'm so disheartened that I spent all those years saving and it's now going on rent, groceries, fuel. Etc. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but I'm just fed up. For instance when my parents were on a similar equivalent to my wage when I was younger, they could afford a holiday every year. I've never taken my son on holiday and he's 4. I'm not entitled to a holiday but things have changed so much. I thought things were meant to get better for each generation. Not worse. I'm really struggling.

@Eastangular2000 I bought before I had children. But not everyone has the same timelines and it isn't helpful to the ops predicament.

You don't need hindsight to know children cost a fortune, though.

What if you were like me? Previously owned a house. Got pregnant. Abuse started. Fled at 2 months post partum because it got so bad when I was pregnant. There are so many people out there who get pregnant, own a house, but the relationship breaks down, they can't afford the repayments so end up starting from scratch. Hindsight is a lovely thing but it's not always that simple. Some people won't be able to buy a house even without children until they're 40 in current circumstances. Do they wait until 40 to start a family? Nothing is that black and white.

Kids are expensive yes but I think the way things are now you could live on gruel for a decade and not be able to afford a house.

You never know what will happen though.

I owned a house with ex h at 21, had ds at 22. All set, right? Until he left me and it turned out that he’d run up loads of debt and that there was no equity in the house anyway.

So at 31, I was on the bones of my arse, single parent on top up housing benefit renting a shithole.

I’m 42 now and me and now dh have just bought a house. But we have had two children before that as we lived in London. If we had waited to buy a house, we’d never have had children.

We’ve had to move somewhere three hours away that neither of us like just to buy somewhere that’s quite frankly, a bit of a rundown dump.

What a tone deaf response

Yeah I chose to ignore this.

It's entirely possible to have kids first and still buy a house. We did and it was right for us.

Find a partner who works and share the costs of life and gain some companionship. It can be much easier and happier for many people (I know some people are happiest single)

This is such a simplified view of the world though and why people make certain decisions. Nobody is perfect. Relationship breakdowns can happen in relationships with zero red flags.

We bought 2 years whilst having a child. Our child was 10 so we had him for some time. Needed 15% deposit as well as we bought during the lockdown. We are not in super expensive area though.

You didn't really respond to her post though did you, just typed out a message congratulating yourself for buying a house and getting a pay rise 😂

Er, no, unless you can buy outright. If you give it even a nanosecond of thought, it’s obvious it depends on your specific situation. You could have bought before having children, have had a child and now find your house being repossessed. Or find you have the house but can’t now actually afford to have children. Or have the house but need to move elsewhere for work and need to get the money out of the house to afford this, but be trapped in negative equity when prices start to fall due to mortgage rates and a long recession - with or without children. Or find you have the house but are now too old to have children. Or find you have the tiny flat but it is too small for children and you can’t afford anywhere bigger. Or you have the house, but can no longer afford to pay the mortgage, with or without children…

Don't worry OP there's always one smug tosser 😉
We bought our house at 23/25 only just! Iv always had a low wage but my partner earns more but was still a struggle still as where we live is expensive. We're now 6 years in and honestly worried about the next remortgage, I'm only going back to work 2 days so il be getting peanuts my partner is on a much better wage than he was 6 years ago but we will never be able to buy another house, and to be honest will most probably have to end up selling this one if something doesn't change in the next 2 years.

Literally one of the most stupid responses on MN for a while.

You've just got pulled up on another thread for having a pointless, tone-deaf argument with someone.

Are you a bit dehydrated? Bored?

Dire isn't it. So sorry for everyone who is struggling.

It is bad , I’m hoping to be able to help my child with the deposit, i don’t think they could do it without help , is very sad . And it is true , having children before a mortgage increases your expenses therefore decreases the amount you can save if you’re able to save anything with all the childcare costs etc going through the roof

To answer the question, I am not too worried as we only pay one set of childcare fees. I fixed our energy last September (still thank my lucky stars) and our mortgage fix will finish next October. We will have around 150K left.
I am worried if one of us loses a job though, we would be screwed.

You have a right to be upset, I can imagine how demoralising this has to be for you:(

I don't see the point in moaning about the way of the world. We just have to live with the way it rolls. None of us are 'owed' anything.

Yes and it involves a bit of planning. I made the decision not to have kids until we had bought. It meant having DC a bit later than I would have liked, we waited until early 30s, and we saved in our twenties rather than spending everything on holidays and car finance, but that was the was compromise we made so that we would own a house and be able to afford what we wanted. It’s peoples choice what they prioritise.

A very insightful post. The answer is simple; you need to hop in your time machine, crank it back a few years and buy a house! Remember not to get pregnant!

Oh and when you're back in 2022 - get a better job. It's easy :)

I’m in my late twenties, my partner and I went from really low wages whilst living with our parents (and paying them a considerable amount of rent) to fairly okay (average?) wages but now in private rented house with a toddler and of course childcare bills. I’ve saved and saved but never been anywhere near a deposit so I’ve given up, a 5% deposit near us for the basics would be £10k and it seems truly impossible and by the time we got there we’d probably need more. I hate renting but saving even a small amount each month right now is near impossible.