Going out on a limb and putting myself up for a slating here, but in the effort to better understand people and how they react to me I've decided to ask here...
I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. All my life I have struggled with not fitting in, feeling out of place in the world and battling depression due to underachieving in life. On the surface to other people I think I seemed to have my shit together, and I could cope alright except for keeping on top of my post, bills, emails, and things at work. Not things my friends would see though. Although I was always a hit socially awkward for fear of saying the wrong thing and looking stupid.
After I had my second child I think my brain just kind of fried itself. My ADHD symptoms got worse and I couldn't cope anymore. I had made a few parent friends from my first child's class, and a few of us were quite close. But I can tell for the past couple of years (seemed to align with the arrival of my second child and my ADHD symptoms worsening) that a couple of my closest friends are distancing themselves from me without any real understanding as to why from myself. I do understand that I can appear quite scatty and flakey and at times it might look like I don't care or I'm not listening, so....
AIBU by wondering if the below would a) put you off being friends with me and / or b) if I took the plunge and told you that I did hade ADHD would you be a little more understanding and accepting of why I am the way I am. Or have I already burnt those bridges?
Some of my ADHD traits / symptoms:
Forgetting to read / reply to texts for days / weeks. But when I finally do I always apologise for taking so long.
Forgetting names, faces, details of conversations. After 6 years, I still don't know the names of some of the children in my child's class or their parents even though I see them everyday. This can make conversations with friends difficult because I have to pretend I know who they're talking about 
Constantly seeming a bit disorganised & forgetful
Being late more often than not
Forgetting birthdays / important dates like when they're off on holiday and where
I can't do small talk. I have no idea how to do this. Most friendships are superficial because I don't know how to take the friendship to the next level by talking about spouses, family details, life, etc. I just tend to talk about the same stuff like the weather, what are they did or are doing on the weekend. Inevitably I'll forget and ask the same thing the next time I see them.
Slow to talk / think during a conversation because I'm thinking about 1000 different things at the same time and over analysing what I'm saying. I can seem bored, tired and uninterested
My house is always a mess so I don't invite people over. It also never occurs to me to invite other children over for play dates.
Would this piss you off? Would you be a bit more understanding if you knew I had ADHD and couldn't really help by doing the above stuff?
I can't really change my brain and who I am. But I'd like to try and understand what annoys people and if there's something (anything I can do) to help make myself a little more relatable and better friends with my "friends" (all fairly superficial).