AUBU thinking I might have ADHD?

[Salvia89]

Hi all,

For years I've struggles with a few things and am beginning to think I might have ADHD. In other ways I think that perhaps I don’t though and am just a bit lazy?! I’ve not mentioned this to anyone I know and was hoping for a bit of thought and insight here. Here are a few examples of the struggles:

1. misplacing things all the time. I can put my keys down (can never manage to always put them in the same place!) and then have lost them 5 minutes later.
2. Always forgetting things. My daughter’s friend came over this evening and as I was getting ready to take her home, packed friend’s bag full of her school things and put it by the door. Said goodbye to my daughter and put friend in the car.. got to her house and realised I’d forgotten her bag. Forgot to take my daughter to swimming the other day dispite my partner reminding me.
3. find it impossible to concentrate or get anything done until the absolute last minute when I go into a hyper focus and can get tasks done to a v high standard in a v short period of time. I find it almost impossible to start on work projects until the fear of god gets into me!
4. Brilliant short term memory.. at uni, there was a subject that I found dull, but had an excellent and well written text book. I couldn’t bring myself to revise for the exam in advance, but read the text book front to back the day before the exam and managed to regurgitate it for the exam and got a 1st. Had forgotten pretty much all of it 2 weeks later.
5. Can’t keep my house tidy for the life of me. I’d love to live in a tidy house, but I put things down without thinking and then suddenly the house is a bomb site! The only time I can tidy is when people are coming over and I NEED to do it. Then I go into a frenzy and can get it done in super time! I find it difficult to see mess either.. for example, I went to the pub the other day and when leaving asked my brother to check the table to double check I hadn’t left anything.. he said “well nothing but the baby bottle obviously”. I hadn’t noticed rhe baby bottle! Ffs!
6. A typical thing has just happened.. lit the log burner before writing this. Just went to put on another log and I’ve lost the bloody handle! I haven’t even left the room!!

None of this is particularly debilitating and I hold down a good job and social life, which is why I’ve never explored it before, but having read threads on here and people suggesting that others may have ADHD has got me thinking.

What do you all think? And anyone else with ADHD, what are your other main symptoms?

I have adhd and you sound very like me.
the waiting till the last min is v typical ! Yiu dont get the brain chemicals/ motivation till then . I too didnt revise for my degree until a few days before and then pulled it right out of the hat !
i also burn pans weekly , I lose track of things .. was a relief to know what it was . My life made sense.

I have ADHD and your post sounds familiar to me.

I don’t know if you have ADHD but you sound exactly like me. I suspect I have it but not diagnosed.

The exam thing - exactly
The hyperfocus after ages of no focus - yep
Losing things, forgetting things - me too!

Whenever I stop the car and take the keys out of the ignition I lose them almost instantly

Also would love to live in a tidy house but it’s always been beyond me - I have often looked at other people’s houses and just thought HOW? But equally I find the mess stressful., and tidy places very relaxing.

I literally could have written your post. I suspect I have undiagnosed ADHD. My son has just been referred to the ND pathway for suspected ADHD.

I have ADHD, you sound just like me xx

Yes! Your pretty much describing me and I’m diagnosed with ADHD.

You sound like me also. I’m currently going through the long and expensive process of getting assessed 😩

Please don't taken offence, but why would an adult want to / need to be assessed for adhd?

I have properly diagnosed ADHD. Aside from the losing things none of it describes me. Just throwing that out there because there is a lot of self-diagnosing on here and everyone with ADHD is different.

Haha yay I think?! I’m glad it’s perhaps not just not a case of me needing to stop being lazy and trying harder.

For those of you that are diagnosed.. once you were on medication, how did your life improve?

In some ways I don’t mine the procrastination followed by hyper focus at work as I can do other things when I should be working, knowing I can rely on the hyper focus when it appears. On the other hand, I do feel guilty procrastinating and not working when I’m being paid (I’m WFH, which makes it so much easier to procrastinate!). I wish I could just be my hyper focus self when I’m at work.. I sometimes imagine how successful I could be 😂

It would be really great to be less forgetful/more tidy though, as I know it annoys my partner. He’s a saint though and keeps our house in a fairly good order, but I wish my brain would be better at helping him do more.

Because it's a debilitating potentially life-threatening illness that can ruin your life and it's treatable by medication. Same reason someone with diabetes might need a diabetes assessment as an adult. We are over represented in the prison population, for example.

Apart from the tidy house thing (which causes me unknown stress and time) I could’ve written this. I only realised these were symptoms earlier this week.

The last minute thing drives me mad. I try so hard to start a task well in advance but just can’t manage it!

Remember the days when ADHD didn't exist...

Yeah same as me too. I only really clicked that this was my reality when it became clear my DD had it. I have a good job and am good at it, but I likely won’t progress further as I can’t bring myself to focus to the extent that would be needed. I struggle with relationships and friendships and change and anything that isn’t calm and orderly. Having children has been a challenge. But I am fun and gregarious and have always been one for taking risks. I quite like me, but me is definitely more complicated and erratic than an NT person!

Oh it did. Ignorance of something doesn't negate its existence.

Yeah we were just written off as "bad 'uns", thrown out of school, beaten to a pulp by parents who believed they just needed to discipline us more, and locked in prison for our impulsive behaviour. Good times.
Still ongoing because of the amount of people who still think ADHD is optional like they think the rest of the population just choose not to have it.

OP I have a diagnosis and much if what you've prescribed is typical of me. Sometimes I want to punch myself in the face, it's so frustrating.

Very recently been diagnosed with ADHD.

Apart from all the general losing stuff, it takes me ages to DO anything because I get distracted. Zero time planning as I can never figure out how much time I need to get stuff done. I am either super early or late. Usually late. I go down rabbitholes of things that attract my attention and not focus on what needs to be done.

Weirdly in travelling , although I love it, I get very anxious . I am completely anal about making sure I have ever document I might need, and I have it in a folder in my phone, and then print it off as well in case I lose my phone.
School was a nightmare for me. ADHD had never been heard of back then, and I was always daydreaming or forgetting stuff.
There are online tests you can do. I have the attention deficit and hyperactivity part too, although that part comes in peaks and troughs. I got a private initial screening, and then got an NHS diagnosis.
If you have Facebook, there are a few groups for people with ADHD, even if you aren't diagnosed, and there is one for women over 40 ( if you are). Really helpful

Today I have misplaced my DH’s smart key for his car. Absolutely NO idea where I left it or how it ended up where it did. Then my debit card- this is a weekly occurrence. I don’t do well with car park tickets that you need to scan on exit either. It’s always been a standing joke with friends and colleagues about who clumsy and ditzy I am and my parents have always found it annoying. I end up getting so frustrated with myself and think that will be the last time I lose x, y and z. I just can’t find it in me go be more organised!!

OP you sound just like me. I have also been wondering if I have ADHD. I managed really well until I had children . The fatigue meant I couldn’t do the hyperfocus and last minute cram.

I’m struggling again with perimenopausal symptoms making things worse than normal.

I also hold down a high powered job .

It’s a spectrum of behaviours and symptoms. Most people experience those things you describe from time to time and to more or less a degree.
What matters is how well you can function, how debilitated you are, what your quality of life is despite or because of it.

Yes I have a lot of those and am diagnosed. You seem to get a lot done last minute but at least you do. Some of us can’t always even manage that and can get into some real difficulties.

Only a psychiatrist / specialist psychologist can tell you if you have it. The medication is serious stuff. Serious risks and sides as well as benefits.

@Pugdogmom this is so interesting. Thanks, I’ll check out the FB groups.

so it’s possible to be diagnosed with ADHD, without the hyperactivity part?

Those of you diagnosed, do you take medication? What has it helped with if so?

Could it be peri-menopause? Unless you were always this way when you were younger too?