AUBU thinking I might have ADHD?

[Salvia89]

Hi all,

For years I've struggles with a few things and am beginning to think I might have ADHD. In other ways I think that perhaps I don’t though and am just a bit lazy?! I’ve not mentioned this to anyone I know and was hoping for a bit of thought and insight here. Here are a few examples of the struggles:

1. misplacing things all the time. I can put my keys down (can never manage to always put them in the same place!) and then have lost them 5 minutes later.
2. Always forgetting things. My daughter’s friend came over this evening and as I was getting ready to take her home, packed friend’s bag full of her school things and put it by the door. Said goodbye to my daughter and put friend in the car.. got to her house and realised I’d forgotten her bag. Forgot to take my daughter to swimming the other day dispite my partner reminding me.
3. find it impossible to concentrate or get anything done until the absolute last minute when I go into a hyper focus and can get tasks done to a v high standard in a v short period of time. I find it almost impossible to start on work projects until the fear of god gets into me!
4. Brilliant short term memory.. at uni, there was a subject that I found dull, but had an excellent and well written text book. I couldn’t bring myself to revise for the exam in advance, but read the text book front to back the day before the exam and managed to regurgitate it for the exam and got a 1st. Had forgotten pretty much all of it 2 weeks later.
5. Can’t keep my house tidy for the life of me. I’d love to live in a tidy house, but I put things down without thinking and then suddenly the house is a bomb site! The only time I can tidy is when people are coming over and I NEED to do it. Then I go into a frenzy and can get it done in super time! I find it difficult to see mess either.. for example, I went to the pub the other day and when leaving asked my brother to check the table to double check I hadn’t left anything.. he said “well nothing but the baby bottle obviously”. I hadn’t noticed rhe baby bottle! Ffs!
6. A typical thing has just happened.. lit the log burner before writing this. Just went to put on another log and I’ve lost the bloody handle! I haven’t even left the room!!

None of this is particularly debilitating and I hold down a good job and social life, which is why I’ve never explored it before, but having read threads on here and people suggesting that others may have ADHD has got me thinking.

What do you all think? And anyone else with ADHD, what are your other main symptoms?

I could've written this post....I've recently been thinking about this when a friend told me she had screened for it and I realised I ticked a whole bunch of the boxes.
The other thing I would add is my racing and ridiculously tangential mind. Distracts me, keeps me awake etc etc.....

Depression and anxiety are often diagnosed in this population, and perhaps having the assessment and diagnosis can make for a better treatment rather than a mis-treatment. So hence the benefit of assessment and correct treatment. Why is the place always got those few that just need to have a dig? It's so tiresome.

Meant to quote rather than reply (probably ADHD!) to the unhelpful post that was reminiscing to when ADHD "didn't exist".

You sound exactly like me, and for a while I’ve been suspecting I have ADHD

Isn’t everyone like this? We all forget things and struggle to focus? Don’t we?
If not maybe I have adhd, as what you’re describing all sounds really normal to me.

Everyone and their dog wants a diagnosis of ADHD or ASD at the moment

Tbh I have loads of signs of adhd but I think to myself 'isn't it just the way everyone is but now there's so much about it?' If that makes sense?

A lot of the problems with ADHD can be improved with a good diet, finding the motivation and planning to follow the diet would be hard.

Tbh I have loads of signs of adhd but I think to myself 'isn't it just the way everyone is but now there's so much about it?' If that makes sense?

Well there is ADHD's cousin OCD. <<light hearted>>

But now thinking about it, the really organised people I know claim to have OCD they'll comment "I'm a bit OCD" when you comment on their sparkling home or neat presentation.

Maybe we're one of the other without any diagnosis like the olden days when you were organised or not.

My Dsis is naturally organised she can clean a room in minutes, her home and self is naturally pristine. I'm very jealous.

I have suspected for a long time that I have it and you have pretty much described me in your OP.

I was assessed about 15 years ago at age 16 and the assessor told me that ADD doesn’t exist, only ADHD and I don’t have it because I’d given him eye contact.

well I’m 31 now, still barely give any eye contact and the second I do the focus goes (exactly like pp who’s boss knows when she’s not listening!)

Currently plucking up the courage to speak to the GP again and finally plucked up the courage to tell dp a couple of weeks ago. I was blown away by how supportive he was after a lifetime of being brushed off and minimised. The struggle is real and isn’t appreciated in day to day like

I have heard that the rise in TikTok videos about ADHD has led to people many believing they have it and over diagnosis. I don't mean that you definitely don't have it, but it's something to consider.

aaahhh - the problem with keys and phones. I had to use a bum bag at one point to stop myself losing things and when DS was a baby I had my phone clipped to myself on a long curly wire if I went out.
OP - it’s interesting that you can sustain focus on something scientific or art or practical.

I can do craft or anything with my hands brilliantly without losing focus but an essay is a nightmare.

Yes the posting of birthday cards nightmare. I have bought and written so many which then go unposted.

Oh gosh this sounds exactly like me! From the hiding from school work then cramming to the mysterious disappearing items… I’m so clumsy and careless, I’m useless at admin, I cannot retain information or focus in meetings unless I’m taking notes down, I weirdly can’t sit and just watch tv (always fiddling on my phone or crafting), I find it so hard to go to sleep, I’ve bounced around jobs/houses/countries, I get obsessed with things and it’s all I want to do. I’ve always assumed is was just my quirky personality but it’s getting harder to keep my shit together as I get older and have more responsibilities. Plus I’ve always relied on a (selectively) good memory and hyper focus at school then work but have developed chronic fatigue and the wheels are very shortly about to come off the bus…

Yes I did. I doubted I that I had it, and wondered if I was " making it up" and it was just me.
However, there are quite a few tests, and IMO, the way they are designed, I think it's quite difficult to " fake " them. No matter how much you study ADHD, there are quite a few things that I had no clue were even ADHD related until after my diagnosis. We all know the obvious ones, but there are others too. I'm still learning post diagnosis, and there are things that I have found out that are ADHD related that I didn't realise until I had it from speaking to others with the condition. There is a LOT to learn.

I would have preferred not to have a neurodiverse condition that has affected my whole life and my MH, and something that isn't completely debilitating and be able to switch my brain off, but OK.

Not everyone who has trouble with planning and organisation will have ADHD. Sometimes we all struggle, especially when stressed and busy.
It's difficult to explain the difference to someone who doesn't have the condition. My brain is fried on a daily basis, and never calms down. It's pretty horrible 😕

You sound like me. I don't have adhd. It's probably a spectrum as people have said. Unless you are considering taking medication what is the point of getting a diagnosis now? Are you at the point you would take meds for it? I wouldn't do that lightly.

You realise things often exist before they're discovered by scientists right?

Agree with this and its part of why people minimise it as a condition as when you try to explain it people often say I do that, everyone does that. But it's more about how dehabilitating and chronic it is. Its not just forgetting things every now and again and being a bit rubbish at organisation.

I have ADHD, medication has absolutely changed and possibly even saved my life.

I was burnt out, exhausted and being treated for depression & anxiety that it turns out I didn’t have - they were just symptoms of unmanaged ADHD.

Unless you are considering taking medication what is the point of getting a diagnosis now?

The diagnosis itself can be very validating and freeing. It can help you make sense of your life. A lot of people have felt shame and self blame all their life because of the symptoms and this can make you and other people realise it’s not your fault.

I clearly remember my grandmother, a children's nurse, telling my mother I was hyperactive.

Just because you didn't hear about it doesn't mean it didn't exist. ADHD was first identified in 1902

Really?

My son was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive in lockdown. I also filled in his online assessment for myself and realized where he got it from. There is a great book Driven to Distraction which we both read and was really helpful. He is now on medication and managed to finish his degree. I haven't pursued a formal diagnosis as I have retired and I also have an abnormal heart trace so there is no chance of me being prescribed any medication. Some days I feel sad for my younger self, but mostly now I am at peace with who I am.

This post is really interesting.
I'm not sure if I have ADHD/ADD but it's something I've been pondering since DC have been diagnosed with autism and is one is on waiting list for ADHD assessment.
My brain is constantly fizzing- I mean it never feels calm, thoughts whirling round all the time i find it hard to concentrate, particularly in tasks that I find boring or uninteresting and I wander off.
I have colleagues which can sit and concentrate and not move off their chairs for literally 2-3 hours. I'm always up, sometimes I'll go to the loo just as an excuse to leave my desk, or go and make a tea when not thirsty just so I can get up.
Now im wfh it's worse, I'll get up half way through even a short task and pace the room, or remember I've got to order pet food and go on my phone.
But then at the end of the day I'll realise I haven't done much and for the last hour or so concentrate and get lots done.
When younger revision / school work was always last minute.
Im always losing things. never find a hairbrush, keys, glasses, sellotape or kniw where ive put down my cup of tea.
I have things I need to remember written on random scraps of paper scattered round the house that clearly I then can't find.
Will buy birthday cards a week or so in advance but then forget to.post them or forget where they are
I'm also terrible at managing money.
BUT I do have a lot to remember, 4 DC ( 2 with SEN) a full time job , lots of pets , most of household management fulls to me DH says im disorganised and i want to hit him because he rarely organises a thing! I just lots and lots to organise and do.
Its overwhelming and now I'm hitting the menopause it's getting worse.