AUBU thinking I might have ADHD?

[Salvia89]

Hi all,

For years I've struggles with a few things and am beginning to think I might have ADHD. In other ways I think that perhaps I don’t though and am just a bit lazy?! I’ve not mentioned this to anyone I know and was hoping for a bit of thought and insight here. Here are a few examples of the struggles:

1. misplacing things all the time. I can put my keys down (can never manage to always put them in the same place!) and then have lost them 5 minutes later.
2. Always forgetting things. My daughter’s friend came over this evening and as I was getting ready to take her home, packed friend’s bag full of her school things and put it by the door. Said goodbye to my daughter and put friend in the car.. got to her house and realised I’d forgotten her bag. Forgot to take my daughter to swimming the other day dispite my partner reminding me.
3. find it impossible to concentrate or get anything done until the absolute last minute when I go into a hyper focus and can get tasks done to a v high standard in a v short period of time. I find it almost impossible to start on work projects until the fear of god gets into me!
4. Brilliant short term memory.. at uni, there was a subject that I found dull, but had an excellent and well written text book. I couldn’t bring myself to revise for the exam in advance, but read the text book front to back the day before the exam and managed to regurgitate it for the exam and got a 1st. Had forgotten pretty much all of it 2 weeks later.
5. Can’t keep my house tidy for the life of me. I’d love to live in a tidy house, but I put things down without thinking and then suddenly the house is a bomb site! The only time I can tidy is when people are coming over and I NEED to do it. Then I go into a frenzy and can get it done in super time! I find it difficult to see mess either.. for example, I went to the pub the other day and when leaving asked my brother to check the table to double check I hadn’t left anything.. he said “well nothing but the baby bottle obviously”. I hadn’t noticed rhe baby bottle! Ffs!
6. A typical thing has just happened.. lit the log burner before writing this. Just went to put on another log and I’ve lost the bloody handle! I haven’t even left the room!!

None of this is particularly debilitating and I hold down a good job and social life, which is why I’ve never explored it before, but having read threads on here and people suggesting that others may have ADHD has got me thinking.

What do you all think? And anyone else with ADHD, what are your other main symptoms?

But it did. I was that child in the 1970's. I was ridiculed and laughed at, punished most days for being sensory challenged and overwhelmed.
I forget things in a moment, day dreamed constantly but had a super active brain that was never quiet. It's exhausting.

A few things focus my brain, hyper fixation, high stress, pain & brown noise.

I only achieve in high stress.

If ADHD diagnosis and medication had been available to me as a child my life would have been kinder, less traumatic.

The latest research suggests that untreated ADHD results in similar levels of trauma as child abuse. It's significant.

It always existed. Look to the excluded, we were there.

Thank you so much for this. There’s so much that I relate to and interestingly lots that I’m the opposite of. When travelling I hate being super organised and that’s worked to my detriment.. missed a long haul flight once as turned up a day late (lost £600 - ffs). I hate planning and love doing things off the cuff and seeing where things take me.

I massively relate to the wormhole thing though. When I get into something it’s all I want to do/research. It’s made me make lots of massive changes in my life/career to date and I’m only 36.

Both of the above have made my life more challenging since having children though, as I’m not able to think “fuck it” and completely change my career/where I live etc so I often feel stuck and trapped into a corner. I’m hoping it’ll be good for me though in the long run, as although v interesting, my life has been quite chaotic

Im absolutely going to have a look at the Facebook groups.. thank you 😊

Have you ever looked up indigo children?

@ghostyslovesheets The hyperactivity can be thought process. It's not just movement. Mine is both.

@RollerCoaster2020 No I haven't. I'm googling them now.

I also for almost the full criteria. My boss used to say I do my best work with a deadline. I used to get into trouble for chatting but it’s like I need to clear my brain by just saying everything in my head. I put things down and lose them in seconds, I have tied my keys inside my handbag. I wander around in my own world a lot and procrastinate all the time. I’ve always just been ‘Different’. A family member has been diagnosed as having ASD, and there probably is a familial link.

I have tied my keys inside my handbag.
We have had a hairbrush tied to the towel rail for years. It’s the only one that doesn’t wander off.

It does sound like ADHD type struggles but it is debilitating for me.

I can't keep my house clean not just to the point of it being a bit depressing (although that is a factor) but actually down to the point that I've received written warnings from rented accommodation and had an overzealous health visitor involve social services because she thought it was "a hazard" - I got written off their books pretty much immediately because I am not a literal hoarder and they must have been too busy, but it was still a horrible experience.

Even now with DH keeping things on track, it's still at a level where it looks shit all the time and there are problems with mould/damp/dust - luckily nobody has an allergy. I would like to decorate nicely, put up pictures, decorations etc but any time I think about that I look around and think what's the point. It feels like a waste if anyone ever sends flowers because everything is so chaotic that you wouldn't even notice them in the midst of it all.

It affected my education, despite always being told I was very clever and had huge potential I've been stuck basically since about age 16 - never passed anything since GCSEs. Actually that's a lie, I've passed a postgraduate level course because it was a 13 week long one and that was about short enough to keep me focused. I never know what to enter as my education level on forms because I've done half a BTEC, half of A-Levels, half a year of uni. It's enormously frustrating because I'm capable of doing the work I just can't handle the organisation side of it.

It affects friendships because I'm basically incapable of sustaining a one on one relationship with anybody unless it's the level of intensity of a girlfriend/boyfriend, it's all or nothing, so I can only keep up friendships if there is a group and the problem is that everybody else does the one to one things alongside the group, so they all know each other much more than they know me and I get forgotten all the time.

I can't sustain any hobbies or goals because I get dopamine-jacked constantly and the only thing I can do is read stupid posts on the internet.

It's wrecked my dental health because I went so long never brushing my teeth, because I can't form habits, which can have knock on impacts on everything else.

My employment history is a total shambles although this is mostly due to me having a baby aged 20 TBH which I only learned a couple of years ago is really common for girls with ADHD

The keys tied your handbag has really made me laugh! I’m genuinely going to do this so that I don’t lose them again.

This sounds like me

I regularly start to drink a cup of tea and lose it because I've put it somewhere weird. It's like my brain just shuts out the mundane parts of my life. Like putting something down. My housemates used to laugh because they'd find my purse in the microwave or something. But when I get an idea about something my mind goes into overdrive, like I'll decide to make a cake and then do all the research and try and create something off takeoff and it turns into an absolutely huge project.

Do you have issues with timekeeping as well? I can't seem to get timings right for anything and am late for flights, appointments and I have to book my kids in for breakfast club or get my husband to take them in as it's too stressful getting to school on time

I also have asd personality traits

Is there just one sort of medication available or a range? I hadn't heard about the heart rate/blood pressure issues before. Does it have to be taken continuously, or can it be taken as needed, like when you really need to focus?

I suspect I have ADHD too, and I could have written your post! Do people find medication generally beneficial?

You have described me to a tea. I've quietly suspected for a number of years that I might have ADD.

I've wondered about getting an assessment, but I've no idea where to start. I get so frustrated with myself, I'm constantly on the back foot, I'm so disorganised and forgetful. Makes me sad sometimes as I just feel there is something "wrong" with me.

I'm interested reading others experiences of this, especially if they pursued a diagnosis in adulthood

You sound a bit like me. My ds is autistic and has adhd, I strongly suspect I do too.

Omg I'm doing this! I also have keys to my bag on a chain, only problem is I keep forgetting where I put my bag!

BertieBotts I can identify with a lot of what you’ve written. I prefer seeing friends individually though. I find it hard to cope with group situations.

I was diagnosed at 42. It wasn't pointless. I have felt a failure for my entire life and having the diagnosis was utter relief. The poor mental health that had plagued me most of my adult life started to improve and I've felt on an even keel ever since. My house is still shambolic and I still have memory absences. I didn't take the medication. I was drinking heavily and it can affect your liver. I don't drink any more but I'm not seeking medication now. I've strategies to cope at work and balls to the rest of it (the house etc) 😂

Like when gravity didn’t exist, you mean?

What’s everyone like with sending birthday cards and presents?

And another question, did anyone who has been through the diagnostic process worry that actually they might not have ADHD, and that they had merely done so much research that they ‘knew’ which answers to give and were somehow fooling the doctor? Or is that just me?!

Dh has recently started taking medicine for Inattentive ADHD, its made a big difference, he's less forgetful, more focused, no longer procrastinates. He feels like his brain has switched on at last! It's helped his confidence.

Currently his blood pressure is a little high so that's being monitored. I feel like he's actually stepping up and acting like a 'partner'. He wishes he went on the meds years ago.

A. Horrendous with cards and presents. I do finally have everyone’s birthdays in my computer calendar and reminder flags so that really helps but still sometimes late. Better than never though!

B. Yes a bit (especially as I must have done online self tests so many times) but fortunately still have some of my old school reports (hoarding problem) which clearly document lack of concentration and inability to pay attention as a child as evidence.

What’s everyone like with sending birthday cards and presents?

I'm great at buying a birthday card! Actually managing to write in it, locate a postage stamp, and put the card in a post box before the actual birthday, is a skill that eludes me every time...

I made a loop of string and attached it inside. My DH laughs at me but guess who hadn’t lost her keys in 6 months.

I once lost the remote control for the tv in a hotel room within 5 minutes. I checked in turned on the tv, had a nose about and went to the loo. Could not find the remote at all…I had put it back n the windowsill when I had a nosey out of the window. I lost my prescription once as I put it down in a weird place and I once lost the family dinner as a child ;about 4 yo). I kept pestering my mum to let me hold the bag. So she handed it to me at the bus stop. As we sat down on the bus she said ‘where’s that bag?’ I looked at her and in all innocence said ‘what bag?’ Our dinner was left sitting in the bus stop!

I get obsessed with minor thing until they are resolved. I track the poor Amazon drivers. I go down weird rabbit holes online…

Remember when they said smoking was good for you?