AUBU thinking I might have ADHD?

[Salvia89]

Hi all,

For years I've struggles with a few things and am beginning to think I might have ADHD. In other ways I think that perhaps I don’t though and am just a bit lazy?! I’ve not mentioned this to anyone I know and was hoping for a bit of thought and insight here. Here are a few examples of the struggles:

1. misplacing things all the time. I can put my keys down (can never manage to always put them in the same place!) and then have lost them 5 minutes later.
2. Always forgetting things. My daughter’s friend came over this evening and as I was getting ready to take her home, packed friend’s bag full of her school things and put it by the door. Said goodbye to my daughter and put friend in the car.. got to her house and realised I’d forgotten her bag. Forgot to take my daughter to swimming the other day dispite my partner reminding me.
3. find it impossible to concentrate or get anything done until the absolute last minute when I go into a hyper focus and can get tasks done to a v high standard in a v short period of time. I find it almost impossible to start on work projects until the fear of god gets into me!
4. Brilliant short term memory.. at uni, there was a subject that I found dull, but had an excellent and well written text book. I couldn’t bring myself to revise for the exam in advance, but read the text book front to back the day before the exam and managed to regurgitate it for the exam and got a 1st. Had forgotten pretty much all of it 2 weeks later.
5. Can’t keep my house tidy for the life of me. I’d love to live in a tidy house, but I put things down without thinking and then suddenly the house is a bomb site! The only time I can tidy is when people are coming over and I NEED to do it. Then I go into a frenzy and can get it done in super time! I find it difficult to see mess either.. for example, I went to the pub the other day and when leaving asked my brother to check the table to double check I hadn’t left anything.. he said “well nothing but the baby bottle obviously”. I hadn’t noticed rhe baby bottle! Ffs!
6. A typical thing has just happened.. lit the log burner before writing this. Just went to put on another log and I’ve lost the bloody handle! I haven’t even left the room!!

None of this is particularly debilitating and I hold down a good job and social life, which is why I’ve never explored it before, but having read threads on here and people suggesting that others may have ADHD has got me thinking.

What do you all think? And anyone else with ADHD, what are your other main symptoms?

Yes - I'm am pretty certain I have ADD - I'm just like the OP but in no way hyperactive

My mum says she always thought I was once she started teaching and realised it was a thing! Never slept as a child (put on valium aged 4) and terribly distracted - like the dog in Up - even at work!

That's a bit like remembering when paedophillia didn't exist yet children were still abused.

To add - work know me well now - my boss knows if she's talking and I'm looking at her NOTHING is going in - but if I am checking my laptop, looking at my nails, fiddling with something it's going into my brain. I also need to move around a lot - at home, for TEAMs meetings I have a large collection of Rubics cubes/snakes and fiddly things!

Your post pretty much describes me too.

I think I may have adhd, I saw the gp about something else (anxiety) recently and she suggested I get an adhd assessment. I don't see much benefit in a formal diagnosis, for myself, as I would not want medication, and have learned lots of similar coping mechanisms as you have described.

Can people who have been recently diagnosed advise how long it can take and what exactly it entails? And also if medication helps?

OP, you sound a lot like me (except for the tidy house).
I can be socially awkward too and have been known not to read the room well.

Because for many years, I have struggled at school and work and didn't understand why things appeared so easy for other people and hard for me. Now I have answers to being called some awful things throughout my life,losing jobs etc. Now I actually know that I couldn't help any of it, and can try and use strategies to try and help me live as normal a life as I can.
I need to get my BP under control before I can start meds, but am certainly going to give them a go.

Inattentive type is more common in women and adults I think.
Meth helps a lot with concentration, focus, distractability and listening properly to people/ instructions. But not necessarily with motivation. If I really don’t want to do something I still won’t. It’s not a magic cure for everything. Some people still need therapy as well to develop coping strategies for the things medication doesn’t fix.

Nope.. always been the same. At school I worked out the best way to do well in exams was to find all the past exam papers.. memorise the answers in those and regurgitate them, as new exams were 70% re-hashed old exam questions. I’d then use the same logic for any new questions.

I did well academically at school, top university and my work since, which has primarily been scientific but always struggled with the way that I do it as it can be quite stressful. When I do anything artistic or physical, however it’s weird though as I don’t get the same kind of issues.. it’s more of a slow and constant concentration.

You have described me and I passed the online assessment as having it !

This.

YANBU to consider op, and please listen to yourself if you are feeling down.

However, I definitely think that almost every person I know (especially busy working parents) would relate to everything you listed, and I only say that to assure you that you aren't doing anything wrong.

Doctor should be first port of call if it is all too much, and for anyone struggling to keep their life together or struggling to cope with the day-to-day

This is totally me. Really started to notice after I suspected DS10 has it.

Peri menopause is making everything worse.

I don't know where to start to get assessed

I suspect I have this too and have DC diagnosed.

You sound just like me and I’ve never considered that before

I used to be like this but have learned to be different with practice/ time. No ADHD. I think the only way to be sure would be to get an assessment with someone who is trained to diagnose.

I wonder if there are any people that don't relate to most of that list. I feel like life has gotten very complicated for all of us. Too complicated.

Yes it is. My Psychiatrist told me that sometimes the hyperactivity calms down in adulthood, or you may not have both. I do, but I know that some just have the Attention deficit. I also have the Hyperactivity part. The assessment tests for both. The diagnostic testing had two sets of questions, one for Attention deficit, and the other for the Hyperactivity I scored over 90% in both sections 🙈

And thankfully those days are over and people who have it can be actually recognised and validated and receive help instead spending their entire lives feeling isolated and that there's something wrong with them when in fact they are neurodiverse;same with ASD.

My dd 17 yo has add and she is exactly like this.

Yes. It's called ADD then.

I agree and this is where I’m doubting myself.. what makes me think I might have it though is that it is a constant in my life since childhood and others have commented on it. My partner gets frustrated as I just leave things laying around and can never find anything.. is this me just being lazy and not trying or something more? I CAN do it, but it takes all my mental energy and never lasts for long.

I’d love for some coping strategies that help with forgetfulness and tidiness if anyone has any?! Perhaps I just need to dedicate a few months mental energy to it and it’ll be come habit?

When I first suspected I may have it, I went to a Psychologist for an initial screening which was £120. It would have been £700 to do the full screening and whilst I could have afforded that, I just decided to wait for NHS. I was extremely lucky to get mine quickly, because I had to actually complain to the Health Board as there was a mix-up and I was sent for an Autism assessment, which I pretty much knew I didn't have ( had been screened). Because I complained about the mix-up, I got an appointment very quickly, so from initial screening to diagnosis was 5 months. I was lucky though.
Not on medication yet, as they need to do an EEG as the medication can cause increased heart rate and blood pressure, so could be a while. I suspect I might wait longer for the EEG than the diagnosis

It's interesting you say about your partner. I was assessed about 10 years ago and as part of it they called my partner who was not convinced by the whole thing. They asked for instances of forgetfulness and he noted that I repeatedly left the hob on and locked myself out weekly. It clicked for him (and for the assessors) that I was indeed deeply affected by it.

Perhaps I just need to dedicate a few months mental energy to it and it’ll be come habit?

Mmmm not if you do have it ime. I can be on my best behaviour for days, or weeks. Or even months with continuous CBT. But I will always revert 100% to type. Always. It’s hard wired into my brain. It’s who I am. It’s taken a long time to get to say that. Hence the medication.

I went through those doubts too. I can't help with coping strategies am afraid, am still trying to find my own...sorry

Mostly likely.

I believe I have too and life has been difficult for me and made me believe that I was failing everywhere.

Both DC on the spectrum.

I don't see the point in seeking a diagnosis.

My lifesaving advice is to structure your life as much as possible.

Plan plan plan and take action.

I challenge myself to put away 5 things before losing focus.

I get there eventually.

As a DC of someone who most likely had adhd too my childhood was chaotic so I work really hard on keeping things organised for my children.

DD 14 has absolutely no executive function skills, sense of direction or organisational skills, we use charts.

She hA asperger's too.

I worry about her as an adult without my support though she can't manage without it.

Everyday is a restart.