To want to go back to work after 3 months mat leave

[Forumqueen]

I am a fairly new starter at my role. And got pregnant pretty much straight after starting the role. I’m will be working until due date )fast approaching) I am entitled to 6 months FULL pay during mat leave . So naturally I was going to take 6 months off then come back.
my AIBU is that I’m still learning so much and there are so many great opportunities I am missing out on already by just being so heavily pregnant. My partner thinks I’m crazy to consider just taking 3 months off instead of the full 6 . However we have two primary aged kids already so I’ve experienced the whole full year off for mat leave. Right now I really want to progress on my career and I feel as though I will miss out on so many opportunities at work if I’m away for the full 6 months

me and my partner both have very flexible jobs and work from home. We plan on balancing work/ baby at home for the first year. So although I will be working I’ll still be with the baby.

has anyone gone back to work so quickly after having a baby when they had the option to take more time off. Am I crazy for even considering this?

I can't see you performing at your best juggling a baby at home, plus your two older ones. The opportunities will be there when you go back after 6months. Given that you get 6 months full pay so don't need to go back sooner to survive, I'd suggest that's in your baby's best interests too.

If you are planning on having baby at home while you work (i personally think that is mad, anfair on colleagues etc) you are basically working for free for those first 3 months if you go back at 3 months as you would have been getting full pay anyway to be at home with baby, but you'll still be at home with baby but also working...

I really can’t see how you will manage to focus on your work with a 3 month old baby in the house, even if your partner is there too. Sounds very stressful.

How long is your partner taking off?

Yanbu.

It's your choice

Just the standard 2 weeks

You wouldn't be allowed to have care for a baby whilst working at my work, except in an emergency.

@Forumqueen

But you're crazy?

Nah.

Unless hes also willing to take 6 months he can keep his opinion to himself

I wouldn't personally. When else would you get full pay for essentially just looking after a baby? Why would you work instead?

Could you take the six months but do a KIT day a week or every other week from three months?

Enjoy 6 months off work your new baby as it's paid for. Working for free is madness and presumably you can still wfh after 6 months so still look after your baby while working.
I notice this isn't your first child but you might feel different when s/he arrives. Don't make any hasty decisions.

Either look after your baby, or get a nanny. Please don’t stick a three month old in the corner like some kind of parcel while you work.

YABVU.

Most employers won’t allow you to work at home and also be caring for a child - you will need to find childcare.

I’d say indicate that you’ll take 6 months off and then see how you feel once the baby is here. You have no idea how you will feel in yourself particularly if the birth is not straight forward etc.

Thanks everyone for your opinions. This is helping. To see different points of view. I guess part of it is also guilt- getting pregnant at so quickly after starting a new job. Things are suddenly getting busy and I’m worried how they will cope if I’m gone for so long.

with regards to looking after baby I was me and partner would rotate. And do extra work on weekends where needed. Older kids are in after schoool club and has someone drop off / pick up from school.

I think you’d be doing both your baby and your employer a disservice by trying to juggle working with having the baby at home with you.

Will either of your works actually allow you to have baby at home while you work? I also don’t see how you can experience these opportunities when you’ll be taking care of a baby. So either go back and sort childcare or stay off and follow your career in another 3 months.

I’m all for people going back earlier, I was desperate to go back from 5 months but I didn’t have childcare.

Of course I wouldn’t do that. A nanny is also another option .

It might actually be easier for your employer if you took longer off though - it’s pretty hard to recruit someone on a three month contract so they would probably end up just doing without you. For six months they would have more of a chance of being able to cover you.

Except highly unlikely he would get full pay to take 6 months off.
If my Partner got 6 months full pay he would have been extremely happy to stay home with baby in that time.

Men can do no right by some people

Go back whenever you want, but as someone who's just getting SMP I think you're totally crazy not to take advantage of paid time of work.

Ultimately, if you stay there for five years it's neither here nor there if you went on maternity after a few months or a few years. Everyone is less indispensable than they think, and the opportunities won't go while you're off.

Take the six months and enjoy it!

I would also be furious with my DH if he could get six months paternity leave fully paid but decided not to and instead I had to juggle work around childcare!

I do t think it's fair on either your baby or your work to do this.

I'll get roasted for this

I have three kids and I honestly don't value the third less then the first two
I've tried to treat them all equally

And because financially you're not impacted and your role is protected you should be at home with your baby to nurture their development when they have been born. 12 weeks old without constant contact from you is far too young and it feels unfair to give that to the other two but not this one.

Does your employer offer a shared parental leave policy? Could your DP take the final 3 months of your 6 months?

@Lou98

He'll be entitled to more than 2 weeks though.

And I understand he’s frustration.