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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to go back to work after 3 months mat leave

108 replies

Forumqueen · 03/11/2022 14:37

I am a fairly new starter at my role. And got pregnant pretty much straight after starting the role. I’m will be working until due date )fast approaching) I am entitled to 6 months FULL pay during mat leave . So naturally I was going to take 6 months off then come back.
my AIBU is that I’m still learning so much and there are so many great opportunities I am missing out on already by just being so heavily pregnant. My partner thinks I’m crazy to consider just taking 3 months off instead of the full 6 . However we have two primary aged kids already so I’ve experienced the whole full year off for mat leave. Right now I really want to progress on my career and I feel as though I will miss out on so many opportunities at work if I’m away for the full 6 months

me and my partner both have very flexible jobs and work from home. We plan on balancing work/ baby at home for the first year. So although I will be working I’ll still be with the baby.

has anyone gone back to work so quickly after having a baby when they had the option to take more time off. Am I crazy for even considering this?

OP posts:
ilikesscience · 04/11/2022 09:24

FortSalem86 · 04/11/2022 07:30

I didn't know you could get full pay when you haven't been there very long?

Not everywhere. Where I work you become eligible for their full pay maternity leave from the day you start, no matter how pregnant you are at the time.

FortSalem86 · 04/11/2022 10:31

ohyouknowwhatshername · 04/11/2022 07:40

I'm sorry, but the word "just" annoyed me. Why is looking after your own baby given such little value on Mumsnet?

I think you are getting offended over nothing there.

FortSalem86 · 04/11/2022 10:32

ilikesscience · 04/11/2022 09:24

Not everywhere. Where I work you become eligible for their full pay maternity leave from the day you start, no matter how pregnant you are at the time.

Sounds great. 😊

ohyouknowwhatshername · 04/11/2022 13:48

What would be the best thing for your baby? Do that.

BruceIsACake · 04/11/2022 13:53

It's completely unacceptable to WFH with a baby there in your care! No one would ever have even contemplated doing this pre-lockdown but because it was accepted during lockdown as a necessity when nurseries etc closed, people seem to think it's ok generally. It's really not.

I have my 2 yr old home today as my MIL is ill and usually has her 2 days a week. Despite both me and DH being here and tag teaming it's been a bloody nightmare and I've done nothing other than the bare minimum of calls for those 2 days.

jiggleypuff · 04/11/2022 14:06

I thought companies have to give parents the right to Shared Parental Leave:

Shared Parental Leave (SPL) gives parents greater flexibility in how they care for their child. SPL allows birth mothers to share a portion of maternity leave and pay with their partners to care for children from birth until their first birthday.

workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/shared-parental-leave-sharing-leave-with-a-partner-or-splitting-up-leave/#:~:text=Shared%20Parental%20Leave%20(SPL)%20gives,birth%20until%20their%20first%20birthday.

cestlavielife · 04/11/2022 15:13

Go back to work if you wan5
But put baby in full time childcare
Eg full time nanny or nursery
You cannot wfh with baby.

LSSG · 04/11/2022 18:23

Kite22 · 03/11/2022 17:52

When mine were little we only got 3 months maternity leave, so I don't see any particular issue with going back at that point if you needed to, but it does seem bonkers when you are on full pay for 6 months not to take it.

However
me and my partner both have very flexible jobs and work from home. We plan on balancing work/ baby at home for the first year. So although I will be working I’ll still be with the baby.

this is very unreasonable ^

You are either at work, or looking after a baby. You can't do both. If you are working, you need childcare.
So I am glad you are now thinking about other solutions.

This isn't necessarily true. Those little moments where the (familiar!) wfh partner can help out (hold the baby for a few mins while you go to the loo / shower / eat without it being a big hoo ha handover can really work for a small baby and don't necessarily mean lots of time away from work, but are invaluable to the parent caring. A lot depends on the job/baby.

For my part, couldn't have done it initially as ds was a screaming mess for a couple of months, but from around 4 months it's worked well.

That said, wouldn't do it myself. That time would be very precious.

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