To want to go back to work after 3 months mat leave

[Forumqueen]

I am a fairly new starter at my role. And got pregnant pretty much straight after starting the role. I’m will be working until due date )fast approaching) I am entitled to 6 months FULL pay during mat leave . So naturally I was going to take 6 months off then come back.
my AIBU is that I’m still learning so much and there are so many great opportunities I am missing out on already by just being so heavily pregnant. My partner thinks I’m crazy to consider just taking 3 months off instead of the full 6 . However we have two primary aged kids already so I’ve experienced the whole full year off for mat leave. Right now I really want to progress on my career and I feel as though I will miss out on so many opportunities at work if I’m away for the full 6 months

me and my partner both have very flexible jobs and work from home. We plan on balancing work/ baby at home for the first year. So although I will be working I’ll still be with the baby.

has anyone gone back to work so quickly after having a baby when they had the option to take more time off. Am I crazy for even considering this?

I don't think you are being entirely unreasonable, but is there some middle ground? It does seem a shame not to take advantage of the opportunity to do whatever you want for those 3 months, without financial impact. It doesn't have to mean the two extremes of going back full time or staying at home with the kids. Could you go back part time? Or use the time to pursue some interesting projects and opportunities outside your job, either work related or something completely different (getting some childcare to allow you to do that, as you would do if you went back to work). On the other hand, if you really think you'd rather be at work than anything else, then go for it.

After my first child I continued writing up my PhD when she was just one month old and went to work full-time when she was less than 3 months old. I had no choice as I had a job offer (I got the offer early in pregnancy) and they would not delay the start. After my 2nd child (just 16-17 months later) I had the 6 months paid leave but actually started working unofficially part time a month early and continued to unofficially work part time when I went back. That made it much easier for me to settle him into nursery and persuade him to take a bottle etc than going back full time all at once. Not easy, but don't let anyone tell you you won't be able to function at work with a young baby. You might not be on top form, but that doesn't make it not worthwhile.

I returned to work after 3 months. Slightly different though, I had to as I’m freelance, any longer and business would be drying up.

I always think you should do what you want to do.
i don’t think working at home with the baby around is wise though.

Oh and for the first month with first baby we didn't have childcare as she was two young. DH and I just took turns. I did warn work that I wouldn't really be working full time and would prefer to delay my start but they preferred this option.

I would take the six months. Will be lovely for your older children to have you take them to school and collect them for a while. Breakfast and after school club is a long day for them when it’s not necessary.

I live in a country where it is pretty common to go back to work after three months so I don't find it that shocking.

But if you're entitled to six months on full pay, you would be mad not to take it all.

Six months isn't very long and will go by in a flash. Take the time to recover from giving birth and spend some time with your baby. Three months or six months will make zero difference to your long term career prospects, and it's three months with your baby that you'll never get back.

I did this, I WFH went back after 2 months. It was fine. Babies do very little in the first 6 months. I was able to work and care for baby equally as well. It kept my brain going (first 2 DC I found maternity leave turned my brain to mush). Do what is best for you.

It's up to you in the end how much maternity leave you take, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with only taking 3 months. However, it's completely unfair to your baby and to your workplace that whenever you plan to return to work (3 or 6 months) you're planning to be caring for baby at the same time as working. You cannot be doing both. If you're working, you need to sort some kind of childcare. You can't possibly juggle a baby with you and your husband both working full time, it won't end well for anyone and just isn't fair.

Just out of interest, does your workplace know that you plan to be caring for a baby while working? I'm sure they won't be fine with this.

Whatever opportunities are there in work will still be there when you return, an extra 3 months won't make a big difference. But again, totally your choice to make that decision, just have childcare sorted is all!

Interesting… thanks for sharing your experience .maybe you just had a easy baby?

Seems bonkers to me, mainly because you’re trying to juggle a baby whilst being back at work, caring for primary age children and sleep deprived. I can’t think of anything less appealing. Take 6 months and send little one to nursery. From an employer point of view I’d much rather someone was off longer but fully back rather than back earlier but only half present.

Certainly I could imagine going back at 3 months, I went back at 6 months for mine.

However I don't think you can work with a baby in the house, I'd strongly suggest a nanny.

If you want to go back sooner, do it.

If your DP has a problem with that, he needs to discuss it with his employer.

Going back to work at three months is fine if you have childcare.

Thanks all for your input I have a lot to think about. I will definitely take the 6 months then get a nanny to look after baby at home during working hours. I will however still keep an open mind and see how I get on after the 3 month mark to see if I can utilise any KIt days to be involved in the project I don’t want to miss out on

No, not an easy baby but a flexible job where I am not on the phone a lot. DH has flexible shifts too. It's easy for people to say it can't work but everyone has different situations and only you know if it would work or not.

Wont work.

Been there, tried it. Absolutely impossible to work with a baby at home.

You will also feel very different when baby here and may find you dont even want to go back to work after 6 months.

Take the time. If its a good company, the time off will not set you back. I took the full year and then holiday at the end and still got a promotion and retraining into a new sector.

By the way you can't take KIT days and get paid for enhanced maternity leave pay too. So if you take a KIT day in the first 6
Months then you won't also get your mat leave pay for that day.

Fwiw, I took more than a full year with my accrued holiday last time (about 14 months), went back part time, and six months later got a promotion to a role two grades higher.

I want back full time at 6 weeks, 3 months and 4 weeks after each DC.

With DC1 6 weeks was statutory at 90% of full pay. If I had stayed off longer then we would have dropped down to SMP.

With the younger 2 I could have stayed off work for 12 months but was worried about career impact.

When I went back to work after youngest was born DH became SAHP which made life a lot easier.

Don't feel guilty, it happens all the time and employers deal with it. If they value you for you they'll happily wait six months and the opportunities will still be there when you come back. Six months in the grand scheme of things for a company is nothing, did you and your family it is enormous. I was promoted 2 months before mat leave (they knew I was pregnant) and felt so guilty. Now I'm back I have just picked up where I left off. I totally understand what you mean by progressing your career (men don't have to have this argument with themselves) but if you have a supportive employer then take the six months and enjoy the time with your family. Congrats on both counts!

I only took about 5 weeks off as I manage a business, it was completely fine and the right thing for me but I had great childcare in place which made it possible. If you want to go back early, go back early but find a nanny you are really comfortable with. However, I can completely see how it arguably makes little sense to be paying a nanny when you can get paid mat leave.

They will cope. You're having a baby that relies on you. Take the six months. Your baby's well-being and attachment is more important than what you might learn at work in 3 months.

Consider going back early closer to the time — at least investigate how much notice you’d need to give. I loathed maternity leave, and went back early. I started to enjoy motherhood far more once it didn’t involve being a temporary SAHM, which I found dull and isolating.

I could have written your post myself, exactly the same situation. I'm going back after 6 months, fully WFH part time with the baby at home with me. I also have a school aged child. I havent enjoyed mat leave this time round, I'm bored and it's literally same shit different day. I'm looking forward to going back for a few hrs a day. I've been doing KIT days and loved them. I'm ambitious, that doesn't change just because you have a baby.

YANBU

Working from home with a baby if your partner is home is a doddle, did it with DD who is currently 14 months.

What utter rubbish!