To want to go back to work after 3 months mat leave

[Forumqueen]

I am a fairly new starter at my role. And got pregnant pretty much straight after starting the role. I’m will be working until due date )fast approaching) I am entitled to 6 months FULL pay during mat leave . So naturally I was going to take 6 months off then come back.
my AIBU is that I’m still learning so much and there are so many great opportunities I am missing out on already by just being so heavily pregnant. My partner thinks I’m crazy to consider just taking 3 months off instead of the full 6 . However we have two primary aged kids already so I’ve experienced the whole full year off for mat leave. Right now I really want to progress on my career and I feel as though I will miss out on so many opportunities at work if I’m away for the full 6 months

me and my partner both have very flexible jobs and work from home. We plan on balancing work/ baby at home for the first year. So although I will be working I’ll still be with the baby.

has anyone gone back to work so quickly after having a baby when they had the option to take more time off. Am I crazy for even considering this?

When mine were little we only got 3 months maternity leave, so I don't see any particular issue with going back at that point if you needed to, but it does seem bonkers when you are on full pay for 6 months not to take it.

However
me and my partner both have very flexible jobs and work from home. We plan on balancing work/ baby at home for the first year. So although I will be working I’ll still be with the baby.

this is very unreasonable ^

You are either at work, or looking after a baby. You can't do both. If you are working, you need childcare.
So I am glad you are now thinking about other solutions.

What about doing some KIT days in the last 3 months of may leave?

Building your career will always be there.

Your baby won't always be there as it will grow up.

I was entitled to full maternity but went back when my baby was 3 months old for extra cash in hand each day I was there. It was great and helped me so much. Wasn't hard. Do what works for you.

Honestly you can't decide anything until your baby comes. So don't go making any decisions now as you might be eating your words in five months time when you are loving maternity leave and crying at the thought of work. However remember until fairly recently maternity leave was nothing like what we have now and going back to work after 8 or 10 weeks was very normal and people did it and were fine. Physically I'd have had no issue going back to work two or three weeks after my c section if I'd had to and I know self employed people who have had to do this but it's far from ideal. So what I'm saying is that there is no right or wrong but until your baby arrives don't go making any decisions.

You're not being massively unreasonable but you have to be realistic. You cannot plan to work while looking after a baby so DH needs to be 100% on-task for childcare during your working hours. If that can be managed then go ahead.

You havnt had the baby yet. I think that post will look completely different once the baby is here. You are not being realistic

Your baby should be more important than your job !

I went back after 3 months with both of mine, I certainly think it helped my career and didn’t stall in any way.

I would not try and look after a baby at home though, you’ll drive yourself mad feeling like you’re doing a bad job of both.

I haven't read the full thread, so apologies if this has already been covered. What you don't realise until you're in the thick of it, is how awful you will feel from the continuous lack of sleep.

Most 3 month olds still wake up several times a night. It's nothing like pulling an all nighter pre-kids, when you can catch up on sleep the next day, as you will get woken up again the following night, the night after that and so on.

There is no way that I would have been able to function at work when my child was 3 months old. He only started sleeping through the night at 9 months, and I went back to work when he was 11 months.

Agree with others about post birth recovery. You have no idea how the birth will go, you might need emergency c section or have a baby in SCBU for several weeks.

I didn't expect an emergency c section with my youngest or spending weeks in a neonatal unit...

I think considering she already has 2 children the OP understands how sleep works with a baby

I went back after 4 months 😊

I went back after 3 months with both of mine, however this was the maximum I could take (was working in America). The kids went to daycare at 3 months. Could your husband take 3-6 months as paternity? I think juggling baby at home while both trying to work full time is going to be tricky.

I took 10 weeks off, and my partner took the remaining 7 months. I regretted it, and wish I had taken at least 6 months.

If its possible, and if going back to work is what you really want, you could always look into shared parental leave, so your partner can take some of the time off to be with your baby. It means that you can then also take some of the time.. I.e. you could work half a week each, or you could go back for a few weeks at a time, and your other half can share the leave with you and also have some time off.

My partner loved it, I just wish we shared it a bit more, but I made the decision to return to work because I didnt want to miss anything because I loved my job... I've since left, partly because I resented the fact that I didn't take enough time off.

Hope this helps from the perspective of someone who was feeling the same. Good luck.

You’re not unreasonable to return to work when baby is 3 months. You are for thinking trying to wfh with a 3 month old is a good idea!

You’ve been there so you know babies are demanding little things. I barely got housework done when DD was 4 months old let alone actual work! I don’t think it would be fair on you, your employer or your baby to do this personally, I’d either get childcare or take the full 6 months

@Topgub not at full pay for a lot of companies he wouldn't, and definitely not 6 months

I didn't know you could get full pay when you haven't been there very long?

I'm sorry, but the word "just" annoyed me. Why is looking after your own baby given such little value on Mumsnet?

I have. Twice. Its doable however not like you describe wfh and just balancing it. That isn't fair on your employer either. They have employed you to work not to be distracted caring for your child and also working alongside. Unless you tell work this is what you're going to be doing and they agree in which case fine.

Not for everyone...I found it awful. It depends on your baby.

6 months full pay?
it is a no brainer
you can catch up with work and progress in your career

sorry,
after 6 months, when you go back, you can then catch up

you also have two older children, with all of their demands

And we wonfsr why there's a gender pay gap