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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be obsessing over comment in DH's work leaving card?

65 replies

feelingatadobsessive · 29/01/2008 02:25

I don't really know where to put this because I know I am probably being very unreasonable but here goes...

I read DH's leaving card from his old job and there was a comment from a girl along the lines of "there's no way you'll forget me, just think of rug-munching" or something like that. Do you think this is inappropriate to write in a married man's card or am I being silly? I am now a tad obsessed with finding out what she looks like.

OP posts:

cestlavie · 29/01/2008 10:35

You're being a little obsessive - it'll just be some stupid work joke that either means nothing outside a work context or which most people including your DH have forgotten, like she didn't know what a rug-muncher was when she joined, or when she made some stupid comment in front of a director, or when she got her words muddled up, or she tripped over, or... or... or.. resulting in the pathetic in-office hilarity that passes for a social life at work and which is usually referred to in leaving cards.

"Do you remember the time that Douglas sat on the stapler by mistake and had to go to A&E and we called him staple dick? Laugh? I nearly wept"

Baffy · 29/01/2008 10:39

Perhaps you are being a little obsessive

I think what would make me most angry though is dh insisting he can't remember. Bolleaux!

It's obviously some sort of in-joke, entirely normal in an office environment, and probably is totally innocent.

But I don't believe for a second she wrote it to wind you up, it is a joke he knows about.

So because he won't tell you what it is, that would cause me to be suspicious! So actually, I don't think you're being obsessive, I think I too would be and and most of all, I am wondering why he won't tell you?

I bet everyone else on here, who's had these sorts of comments in cards (me too!), at least knows and can explain the context / where the comments have come from...

morningpaper · 29/01/2008 10:51

I wouldn't ask - it's kind of private! Your work in-jokes are just that, surely?

Cappuccino · 29/01/2008 10:54

I think its hilarious that he can't remember

the woman is going to go around for the rest of her life thinking she has done something witty and unforgettable

and it has whisked out of your dh's brain in no time because actually it is of no interest

morningpaper · 29/01/2008 10:56

snort cappucino

yes if it was REALLY memorable she would just have written "You won't forget me!" rather than, erm, having to remind him WHY...

Cappuccino · 29/01/2008 10:58

a bloke came up to dh once and greeted him like long lost friend

dh stared at him

man pulled jumper up over face and said "With a beard? Remember now?"

dh continued to stare

MotherFunker · 29/01/2008 10:58

Sounds like an in joke from the office - I wouldn't worry. To be honest, if he had been munching her rug, I doubt she would have broadcasted it in his leaving card.

chocolatedot · 29/01/2008 11:00

I wouldn't worry about it. When my DH was in hospital after a serious accident, one colleague wrote "I hope you die" and signed it with anther colleague's name!

kama · 29/01/2008 11:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 29/01/2008 11:29

It's so easy to get paranoid over things that you don't know, especially a work colleague your DH has probably spent a lot of time with, I'd probably be a bit miffed too tbh, because I'm only human and have a possesive streak, but I agree with what everyone else has said that it's probably just an 'in-joke' I doubt it would be written there if it was something personal.

FWIW, When DP and I got together my bed broke but I still speak to a guy I was seeing before hand and told him about it, it was funny! Anyway he wrote on something about how he'd never forget the time my bed broke, and DP got really paranoid thinking there was something I hadnt told him, it was however perfectly innocent and just a conversation about DP! that we had had.

Judy1234 · 29/01/2008 11:38

If she had anything to hide she wouldn't put it on the card.

Fireflyfairy2 · 29/01/2008 11:58

It wouldn't worry me in the slightest!

Rug munching doesn't exactly give off 'wild rampant affair' vibes

Heifer · 29/01/2008 12:05

what are you annoyed/worried about? are you bothered that your DH would talk about such subject at work or that he may have somehow been involved in some rug munching with her?

It was probably just a discussion about what people called such an act! I know that I used to have such enlightening topics of convo at my workplace (before DD)..

But I can tell you, it doesn't work well when you try to repeat the conversation at home with your DH/DW etc, the other one just won't like the fact that you have these conversations, which is why neither DH or myself repeat them to each other (and we are not the jealous type at all, just seems wrong to hear about it really).. I think it is because they assume that you tell things about them (which of course we do)....

don't worry about it - rug munching is fairly tame compared to some topics!

MummyPenguin · 29/01/2008 12:35

Psycho Wife is fine by me.

morningpaper · 29/01/2008 22:02

Rhubarb · 29/01/2008 22:07

But isn't "rug-munching" a slang term for lesbianism? So perhaps she's a raving lesbian who likes to flaunt her sexuality by making comments like this, aka "I'm the only gay in this office" style.

pointydog · 29/01/2008 22:20

weeell, of there was a comment like this in dh's card and he insisted he couldn't remember what is was about, I would dwell on it a bit. Frankly.

I wouldn't worry about it as it's very public. I would just find it a bit unbelievable that dh couldn't remember it.

MotherFunk · 29/01/2008 22:36

Message withdrawn

Ags · 29/01/2008 22:38

A good friend of mine at work (many moons ago) wrote the lyrics "If you change your mind, I'm the first in line, Honey, I'm still free, take a chance on me" on my WEDDING card from work!!!

Absolutely nothing ever went on just a complete jokey message. Luckily dh not a tad obsessive!!!!

But, a serious query, what the bloody hell is rug munching? It sounds oral. Am I close?

B1977 · 29/01/2008 22:41

inappropriate of her but likely to be stupid joke rather than anything more sinister eg she could have had a stupid password he had to ask for one time etc, or someone else at work had innocently said something like that instead of eg "rugrats" and she and your dh had laughed together. Don't let it get to you.

B1977 · 29/01/2008 22:42

Ags - yes you have understood it.

Ags · 29/01/2008 22:45

Thanks B1977. I am such an innocent!

yummylittlelapin · 29/01/2008 22:45

I think "I can't remember" is more likely to translate to "it's an unbelievably stupid joke from work, and you really had to be there to get it, and I'll look like a twat if I try and explain it" than anything else

madamez · 29/01/2008 22:48

Has your DH got a history of straying? Or have you a history of being cheated on? Because if not, then YABU. DO you really want to spend the rest of your life policing and analysing every conversation he ever has with anyone? Even if there is some past history of unmonogamous behaviour, you need to deal with it and move on in some way or another, because non-stop policing of a partner is not only completely pointless (someone who wants to have sex with lots of other people will find ways of doing so, someone who does want to be in a monogamous relationship with you will get sick of being picked apart all the time) but an utterly miserable way to live your life.

Quattrocento · 29/01/2008 22:52

It's probably a silly work joke and you are being obsessive.

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