Being blamed for sons injury

[Lemonpink88]

Today I got home from dropping my older son at nursery. My husband was watching our 2 year old at home whilst waiting for a delivery. I arrived home and our 2 year old had burnt his hand upon my straighteners. My husband said this had happend as he had taken him into the bathroom whilst he was having a shower so he could keep an eye on him. My straighteners were plugged in and switched on at the plug but switched off at the hair end. My son got hold of the straighteners and burnt his hand whilst my husband washed. My husband blames the accident upon me as I had left the straighteners plugged in. He says it is 75% my fault and really told me off as I entered the house. I am furious as he is right I shouldn’t of left the straighteners plugged in however he should supervise our son when he is looking after him and not blame his poor parenting upon me. It was then left upon me to soothe our son, treat the burn & work from home & take the delivery whilst he went off to work.
im aware we shouldn’t be arguing over this and be a team but my husband has made me so angry by blaming the accident upon me that I’d appreciate some advice. He works long hours running a business and is very stressed and I work party time in a stressful job and manage the majority of childcare/ house work/mental load.

I am not getting why your hubby is to blame - single parents have showers - he took your child in with him. You should not have left something hot your son could reach.

It depends. Would your son be able to access the room with the straighteners plugged in if an adult hadn't brought him in? If he could have you're negligent. If he couldn't get in there without being brought in by an adult I would say DH is more at fault. He should have had a quick scan to make sure the room was safe before he got in the shower and if he was unable to multitask and watch DS and shower at the same time then the shower should have waited.

If you use straighteners most or every day then your DH should know they are a hazard.

Straighteners stay hot for a long time so being plugged in makes no difference.

Also how have you got the right plug in the bathroom? Are you in the UK?

Your husband took your child in there, he should have automatically done a risk assessment of the area and moved the straightener.

I do unplug these sorts of things when not in use to be fair but I don't think that leaves you to blame.

Your child was right in front of him playing with the straightener long enough to switch it on and heat it up.... not very good supervision of a young child.

I don't know what straighteners are, but they seem to run on electricity and get hot. What would have happened if your child threw them into the toilet while they were plugged in, or into the shower with his dad?

Because in the UK it is illegal to have a plug in a bathroom (other than a special 2 point plug only for toothbrushes and electric razers).

It isn't inconvenient and poorly designed so that you have to run your electrics under the door. It's a safety feature to stop people using electricity near baths and killing themselves by accident. Apparently more accidents like this now in USA as young people don't seem to understand the dangers of mixing electrics and water (phone on charge while using it in the bath). You can see how clueless op and some others are on the same subject! The plug is not there for a safety reason!

Sorry, what? You don’t know what straighteners are? How?!

I used to work in child health research and hair straighteners are responsible for sone of the most horrific hand burns in children. Unplug them and move them out of sight. Sone children literally burned their hands to the bone on these things

Thanks for the explanations about different rules in the UK for electrics. Do you not have safety switches? It pretty much rules out the chance of getting electrocuted. Anyway, sorry OT.

There are many differences, assuming you are in the USA, including voltage and 3 pronged plugs. Our system is extremely robust but if people insist on running hair straighteners under doors into bathrooms and leaving them plugged in, there are multiple ways that can end badly, including electrocution. I wouldn't just shrug and say, hey don't worry it's got a safety fuse!

I'd say it's mostly his fault as I wouldn't take a shower and leave a two year old wandering around unsupervised and if for some reason I was leaving a two year old unattended I would definitely do a check if the area.

I'm guessing he yelled at you because he knows he's at fault here and feels guilty. But also lesson learnt put straighteners away.

Accidents happen. Lesson learned and no point blaming each other. Glad he is okay

Well I do leave my straighteners plugged in but switched off a lot of the time. If they are not switched on then they won’t be hot and won’t burn the house down.

They take time to cool down but I don’t have any little ones in the house that are going to touch them. I think you are mainly at fault for leaving straighteners that are still hot within reach. Running a lead from the landing into the bathroom seems particularly hazardous. Your husband shares some of the responsibility as he was the adult in charge, but really you maybe should put your heads together and think about how to safely store hair straighteners when not in use.

Things happen, everyone accepts their share of culpability, learns a lesson and moves on.
I do not have much hope for OP’s relationship if this is the way issues are dealt with.

Whoever’s ‘fault’ it was, the percentages thing sounds a bit creepy. Surely you just deal with the situation and learn from it rather than apportioning blame. But you’re both tired and stressed, I think you’ve said. Hope your son is ok.

My straighteners are always plugged in but switched off unless I’m using them. They sit on the heatproof pad that came with them on my dressing table.

Why do you use your straighteners in the bathroom? Do you not have a plug and a mirror in your bedroom? The cable running under the bathroom door could be a trip hazard too. I can’t imagine they were on and hot all night, don’t most straighteners have a safety cut out? Mine do.

Im sorry OP but it's your fault predominantly in my eyes.

You should ALWAYS turn them off at the wall to prevent accidents whether that's burnings or fires.

They are your straighteners and you are responsible for them.

In the same way as it your husband left his shoes at the top of the stairs (and you hadn't noticed) and your so trips down the stairs, that would be your husband's fault, regardless of whether he was in the house or not.

It sounds like you're being defensive. The main thing is you are more mindful about how you store them going forwards.

I hope your son is ok.

You can have shaver sockets, which are safer to use in wet areas.

Actually you can sometimes have ordinary sockets, but you need a big bathroom, because they have to be a certain distance from wet areas.

Ouch! It's a lesson learned the hard way op. I know my straighteners turn on really easily, the buttons on the side and just a light touch will turn them on, then even ten seconds on when they're not up to temperature I still wouldn't touch the plates.

Obviously hindsight isn't helpful now, but do you have another mirror and socket you could use? This is to protect yourself aswell, it's so dangerous running the lead under the door.

when I was 18 i was getting ready to go out at my friends house and stepped barefoot on her curling wand that she'd just turned off. I was limping all night and had to peel my tights off my blister before bed

@marvellousmaple

In the UK there can be shaver sockets in a bathroom which will do for electric toothbrushes and shavers. But nobody in the UK will have a full on power socket that can take a hair straightener, because it is illegal here. That is why people have expressed surprise at using straighteners in a bathroom, it is very much against the norm here as it would involve running a wire from another room (as OP has confirmed they have done).

Poor quality straighteners. Mine switch off if kept on for X amount of time.

Unfair to blame you but you know how it is sometimes when you’re stressed and upset - flounder around because you suspect you should have been keeping a better eye on your child.

As long as not a pattern of behaviour - then I’d let it go

Are you chucking the straighteners that stay hot 12 hours after use,

or admitting he must have turned them on as you carelessly left them plugged in next to a water source?

If you think they stay hot for 12 hours please throw them out immediately

I didn’t know how straightness worked until I got one when I was about 30. I don’t care about makeup or other beautifying things, and indeed I only used it twice. I didn’t know they worked on heat, for ex, and even knowing, I did almost burned my hair not knowing they get THAT hot.

it’s not because he’s a man, he might conceivably not known how it works or that it gets so hot they can actually burn.

i don’t look for hazards in my bathroom as I expect my DH not to leave one there on purpose, like his beard trimmer. While I’m aware how that works, as I bought it for him, and could put it away if I see it, I expect anything else I might not know about, if it’s out, it’s safe to have around. It’s a reasonable expectation between adults who have a child and know what that means.

it would be obviously different if I’m using someone else’s bathroom with my child, especially if they don’t have any children.

“Reducing exposure is far more effective than relying o. watching them 100% of the time, that is impossible”

exactly, I thought all parents knew that.

So is your house full of hazards, all within reach of your child?

everyone has knives, not everyone relies on leaving a knife within reach, just because you’d be watching like a hawk, that is plain irresponsible.