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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Being blamed for sons injury

150 replies

Lemonpink88 · 02/11/2022 19:23

Today I got home from dropping my older son at nursery. My husband was watching our 2 year old at home whilst waiting for a delivery. I arrived home and our 2 year old had burnt his hand upon my straighteners. My husband said this had happend as he had taken him into the bathroom whilst he was having a shower so he could keep an eye on him. My straighteners were plugged in and switched on at the plug but switched off at the hair end. My son got hold of the straighteners and burnt his hand whilst my husband washed. My husband blames the accident upon me as I had left the straighteners plugged in. He says it is 75% my fault and really told me off as I entered the house. I am furious as he is right I shouldn’t of left the straighteners plugged in however he should supervise our son when he is looking after him and not blame his poor parenting upon me. It was then left upon me to soothe our son, treat the burn & work from home & take the delivery whilst he went off to work.
im aware we shouldn’t be arguing over this and be a team but my husband has made me so angry by blaming the accident upon me that I’d appreciate some advice. He works long hours running a business and is very stressed and I work party time in a stressful job and manage the majority of childcare/ house work/mental load.

OP posts:

DottyLittleRainbow · 02/11/2022 20:43

I think you’re both to blame to be honest. It’s dangerous to leave straighteners plugged in with or without children in the house as it’s a fire hazard. Your husband also wasn't paying attention and needs to make sure he is adequately supervising a small child.

Make sure you seek medical attention of the burn at a minor injury unit or A&E if you haven’t done so, as you always should with anything to the hands even if it doesn’t appear too bad.

cansu · 02/11/2022 20:45

You are both partly responsible. He should recognise this. Treat it as a wake up call. Accidents do happen. I remember my ds catching his arm on the iron as he leaned across to get to me. From that point forwards, I changed how and when I ironed.

CristinaNov182 · 02/11/2022 21:03

i think we’re missing the bigger issue her, while trying to assign blame for the burn.

the child could have only pushed the button on, while supervised by any of the parents, in a split second, while the parent was doing something else, throwing something in the bin, flushing the toilet, picking up a dropped toy etc

then both child and parent could have left the room, without anyone touching anything

maybe even left for school etc

and a fire could have started in the bathroom…

CarefreeMe · 02/11/2022 21:08

I agree with the PP.

This was definitely a bad call on your end.

Fortunately he wasn’t harmed that bad but he could have hurt himself a lot more or he could have turned them on and started a fire.

I’m quite shocked you are trying to blame your partner on this when you are to blame here.

Definitely a lesson learned.

ScentOfSawdust · 02/11/2022 21:29

Of course it’s your husband’s fault. Your son must have been playing with the straighteners long enough to turn them on and for them to heat up. I agree it’s not a good idea to leave them plugged in but that in no way excuses your husband’s much greater negligence.

SpinningFloppa · 02/11/2022 21:32

Straighteners take 30 seconds to heat up!

Justgorgeous · 02/11/2022 21:36

Wow. You have a plug in your bathroom with an appliance left on and your main concern is arguing about the percentage of blame ??

Caiti19 · 02/11/2022 21:37

Dangers are everywhere. That's why we keep our eyes on toddlers, right? What was the point in bringing toddler into bathroom if he wasn't going to watch what he was doing? Was he facing the other way in the shower? Was he watching him lift the straighteners and thought "that's okay for him to play with because they aren't plugged in". I think this is on him moreso than you. Toddlers get into all sorts of stuff. That's why we watch them.

ArcticSkewer · 02/11/2022 21:39

Never mind the burn, your child could have electrocuted himself!!!

Why do you think your bathroom doesn't have a plug in it?

I can't actually believe you do this with your straighteners and would 100% blame you for this easily preventable accident but thank goodness it might get you to stop leaving plugged in electricals in your bathroom!

Caiti19 · 02/11/2022 21:39

If he drank the shampoo or washed his hands in the loo, would that be your fault too somehow?

TheGoodEnoughWife · 02/11/2022 21:41

If you had come home and he said 'you left your straighteners out and I had to put them away before I could have Ds in the bathroom with me' he would have been totally justified - put your stuff away!

But he was left in charge. That means making sure anyway Ds can get or he puts him he should ensure it is safe.

Jjones8 · 02/11/2022 21:43

It was an unfortunate accident. Two year olds are hard work…. And lesson learned with the hair straighteners.

CherryIce · 02/11/2022 21:43

ThanksAntsThants · 02/11/2022 19:46

It was an accident, but it happened because you both had lapses in judgement. Just one of those parenting fuck ups which you’ll hopefully both learn from.

anybody else disturbed by all the upons?

Upon

Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 21:45

CristinaNov182 · 02/11/2022 20:23

Her husband is probably not be aware how straighteners work.

while he was taking the shower and saw the child moving around, he didn’t see the child pressing the button to turn them on.

he could have been brushing his teeth with the child moving around him, pressing the button then touching the hot part.

I don’t see how it’s his fault. The straighteners were left within reach, plugged in. It’s not unreasonable to have a shower with child in clear view. He didn’t leave his beard trimmer plugged in, for ex. He was not aware of the danger as I’m sure most men have no idea how straighteners work.

the child could have also turned them on, then off with the father to the kitchen, back for a wee, touch and get burnt even worse, the longer you leave the, the worse it is.

Show quote history

Of course, forgive me. A poor man can’t be expected to waste his valuable man brain on understanding how a lady appliance for ladies works. My god. He’s much more important things to be doing. Valuable man things. Like having an important man shower uninterrupted by an inconvenient toddler.

Or…he’s well aware you switch them on and they heat to 230 degrees, taking a few minutes to get to temperature. Meanwhile he’s merrily showering and leaving his child unattended.

How many of us leave things plugged in, with no expectation a toddler will be left unattended by our partners and left to find, switch on and in turn hurt themselves on such items?

FUCK SAKE. The allowances made for men is insane.

This is not the OP’s fault.

ArcticSkewer · 02/11/2022 21:52

God I hope noone else leaves things plugged in with a cord running under the door into a bathroom but I am starting to wonder!

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 02/11/2022 21:55

The owner of the straighteners or whoever left them there really should have not left them plugged in and switched on at the mains with a cable under the bathroom door and left in bathroom op

We all do things when we are knackered and the main thing is your dc is ok.

CarefreeMe · 02/11/2022 21:55

If he drank the shampoo or washed his hands in the loo, would that be your fault too somehow?

They would be normal hazards that you would watch out for when your child is in the bathroom.

They also wouldn’t result in any permanent damage.

I am sure DP was fully aware of the dangers of the bathroom which is why the child didn’t end up drinking the shampoo etc but DP would not have been aware that there were straighteners plugged in, as honestly most people aren’t that stupid to leave straighteners plugged in when they’re not using them, let alone in reach of a child.

Some of these replies are insane!

It’s like if DH left the front door wide open and went upstairs and the kid ran outside but he blamed OP because she was with the child in the front room - yes she was the one looking after the child in that instant but it would be DP’s fault for leaving the door open.

DuvetHugger · 02/11/2022 21:58

Hmm I think he is more at fault, however when I'm not using my straighteners I immediately put them on a high shelf out of reach. My 2 year old would be perfectly capable of plugging them in, switching them on amd flicking the switch on straightener!

Conkersareback · 02/11/2022 21:59

Leaving an electrical like straighteners item plugged in over night is totally irresponsible!

Do you never unplug and put them away?

It was an accident waiting to happen!

You were more to blame.

CarefreeMe · 02/11/2022 21:59

@Herejustforthisone It’s not the fact that this was a ladies product it’s the fact that it was OP’s responsibility to unplug them after using them.

If DH had left a sharp kitchen knife in reach of the toddler and he got hold of it whilst OP was watching him and cut himself, would you also say that it was OP’s fault for not watching her child properly?

DuvetHugger · 02/11/2022 22:00

Actually I take it back, you're more to blame. Lol

marvellousmaple · 02/11/2022 22:01

OT - but why are you all surprised at the plug ( power point) in the bathroom?

Jalepenojello · 02/11/2022 22:02

I have a four year old and my straighteners are unplugged and put out of reach while they cool down. YABU!! Straighteners take 10 seconds to warm enough to burn skin when switched on. I could and would never leave a device I own and use, lying around for child to play with. Be responsible. Toddlers get into all sorts, it’s like leaving a knife in reach. Reducing exposure is far more effective than relying o. watching them 100% of the time, that is impossible

Somethingsnappy · 02/11/2022 22:03

Seems everyone is just heaping blame upon blame...

SouperNoodle · 02/11/2022 22:03

If they were still hot, they weren't 'on at the plug and off at the straightener switch'. They were just on. All night.
First off, that's a massive fire hazard and you literally could've burnt your house down and secondly, that's massively irresponsible to leave them on when you have children in the house.
This is entirely your fault.

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