Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being blamed for sons injury

150 replies

Lemonpink88 · 02/11/2022 19:23

Today I got home from dropping my older son at nursery. My husband was watching our 2 year old at home whilst waiting for a delivery. I arrived home and our 2 year old had burnt his hand upon my straighteners. My husband said this had happend as he had taken him into the bathroom whilst he was having a shower so he could keep an eye on him. My straighteners were plugged in and switched on at the plug but switched off at the hair end. My son got hold of the straighteners and burnt his hand whilst my husband washed. My husband blames the accident upon me as I had left the straighteners plugged in. He says it is 75% my fault and really told me off as I entered the house. I am furious as he is right I shouldn’t of left the straighteners plugged in however he should supervise our son when he is looking after him and not blame his poor parenting upon me. It was then left upon me to soothe our son, treat the burn & work from home & take the delivery whilst he went off to work.
im aware we shouldn’t be arguing over this and be a team but my husband has made me so angry by blaming the accident upon me that I’d appreciate some advice. He works long hours running a business and is very stressed and I work party time in a stressful job and manage the majority of childcare/ house work/mental load.

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 22:06

It is the responsibility of the parent in charge to watch the child.

My straighteners are plugged in permanently, same as my hairdryer. My knives are technically accessible in a drawer to my toddler. The house is full of things that are dangerous. Fireside tools, glass candle holders, metal edged furniture… the reason my kid is ok is because when I’m in charge of him, I watch him. Just as the OP’s dopey husband should have done.

I’m sure it was not essential he had a shower at that very moment, it could have waited and if it had, this wouldn’t have happened.

Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 22:07

Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 22:06

It is the responsibility of the parent in charge to watch the child.

My straighteners are plugged in permanently, same as my hairdryer. My knives are technically accessible in a drawer to my toddler. The house is full of things that are dangerous. Fireside tools, glass candle holders, metal edged furniture… the reason my kid is ok is because when I’m in charge of him, I watch him. Just as the OP’s dopey husband should have done.

I’m sure it was not essential he had a shower at that very moment, it could have waited and if it had, this wouldn’t have happened.

For @CarefreeMe.

Damnautocorrect · 02/11/2022 22:08

Not sure how blame is helping anyone other than making resentment and bad feeling. You both made mistakes and missed it, we’ve all done it, 99% of the time it’s fine.
chalk it up to experience and be thankful it’s not bad.
if your husband goes on, he’s an arse. What are you meant to do? Get a Time Machine?

CaronPoivre · 02/11/2022 22:10

Blame is pointless.
A friends house burned almost to the ground because her 14 year old daughter left straighteners plugged in.

Butwhybecause · 02/11/2022 22:12

reallypuzzledoverthis · 02/11/2022 19:33

why was an electrical appliance in the bathroom?

Perhaps the OP is Australian.

There are electric sockets in bathrooms in Australia, probably in other countries too.

OP, you were both careless, making sure your DS is ok is what is important, not arguing over who is to blame.

AllyCatTown · 02/11/2022 22:14

Sure men generally don’t use straighteners but if I was taking my toddler into a bathroom to leave unattended for some minutes I’d scan the room to see if there were dangers. If there was some electrical appliance I didn’t know about I would unplug it and move it out the way. Electrical appliance in bathroom with unattended toddler is asking for trouble. He could have had an electrical burn.

I think though you’re both to blame. Leaving straighteners plugged in especially in a bathroom is not a wise move.

Iliketeaagain · 02/11/2022 22:15

Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 22:06

It is the responsibility of the parent in charge to watch the child.

My straighteners are plugged in permanently, same as my hairdryer. My knives are technically accessible in a drawer to my toddler. The house is full of things that are dangerous. Fireside tools, glass candle holders, metal edged furniture… the reason my kid is ok is because when I’m in charge of him, I watch him. Just as the OP’s dopey husband should have done.

I’m sure it was not essential he had a shower at that very moment, it could have waited and if it had, this wouldn’t have happened.

Absolutely agree.

Although I do wonder if your husband blaming you was more of a stress reaction, a "what if" - because you weren't in the house, he was, he's feeling guilty that he wasn't paying enough attention and instead of dealing with that, he's decided it's someone else's fault, not a poor man who can't see a hazard (which could have been the electrical cord, the plug, the goodness knows what else) because he wasn't supervising his son as the responsible parent in the house.

Yes, you shouldn't leave stuff plugged in, or hazards within reach, but quite frankly blaming an injury on the parent who wasn't even in the house at the time is ridiculous.

Mischance · 02/11/2022 22:21

Sometimes people hit out and apportion blame when they are upset. You have both learned a lesson and I think you should let it lie now.

Mariposista · 02/11/2022 22:23

Agree with your husband. Straightener should be unplugged and in a drawer/well out of reach of a small child. You are very lucky you are not dealing with a much worse burn.

CarefreeMe · 02/11/2022 22:32

It is the responsibility of the parent in charge to watch the child.

Which he did do - no one is (I thought) stupid enough to leave hair straighteners plugged in.
Therefore why would he check this.

It’s not possible to go around and check every plug socket in the house in case your adult partner has left something dangerous plugged in.

It would have taken a second for the child to have turned them on, in literally a blink of an eye.

People are stupid enough to leave them plugged in in a home they live alone in.
But to leave them plugged in a home where there is a young child is just plain irresponsible.

I can guarantee that if DH had left something dangerous out or the front door wide open and the child got hurt - posters wouldn’t be blaming OP for not keeping a closer eye on him.

TokenGinger · 02/11/2022 22:42

When my son was younger, I was having my hair straightened and unbeknown to me, the lady straightening my hair put them down and DS picked them up. There was no apparent burn on the night it happened (he was obviously very upset and I kept him under water for 10 minutes but I mean you couldn't see anything on his hand). Nothing the following morning. When I picked him up from nursery, his hand was full of blisters! I went to A&E and had a bit of a telling off for delaying treatment of a burn (I honestly had no idea how severe it would become), and was told I'd be referred to SS, and he ended up having to be treated at the burns unit at the children's hospital.

If his hand has made contact with the plates, I'd take him to get checked out.

TokenGinger · 02/11/2022 22:45

TokenGinger · 02/11/2022 22:42

When my son was younger, I was having my hair straightened and unbeknown to me, the lady straightening my hair put them down and DS picked them up. There was no apparent burn on the night it happened (he was obviously very upset and I kept him under water for 10 minutes but I mean you couldn't see anything on his hand). Nothing the following morning. When I picked him up from nursery, his hand was full of blisters! I went to A&E and had a bit of a telling off for delaying treatment of a burn (I honestly had no idea how severe it would become), and was told I'd be referred to SS, and he ended up having to be treated at the burns unit at the children's hospital.

If his hand has made contact with the plates, I'd take him to get checked out.

First photo is 24 hours after he touched the straighteners. Second photo is 48 hours later. His hand looked completely normal on the night it happened and the morning after.

Being blamed for sons injury
Being blamed for sons injury
marmaladepop · 02/11/2022 22:47

BURNJEL is a miracle for burns. I only discovered it at about age 50 but it takes the sting out of a burn. Worth keeping in 'just in case'. Definitely unplug straighteners-some are easily switched on.

marvellousmaple · 02/11/2022 23:11

Oh so people in the UK, how do you charge your electric toothbrushes? Or your electric razors? My bathroom has 4 powerpoints, we leave a little night light plugged in and on all night for our DS if he needs to go to the loo. That's in the bathroom too. Confusing you don't seem to have them.
Hope your DS is ok OP but I do agree that if you have never used a straightener you wouldn't recognise them as a danger (I wouldn't and I'm a woman ) I've just never used one. I know they are hot when in use but wouldn't give them a second look just sitting on a counter.

TokenGinger · 02/11/2022 23:14

marvellousmaple · 02/11/2022 23:11

Oh so people in the UK, how do you charge your electric toothbrushes? Or your electric razors? My bathroom has 4 powerpoints, we leave a little night light plugged in and on all night for our DS if he needs to go to the loo. That's in the bathroom too. Confusing you don't seem to have them.
Hope your DS is ok OP but I do agree that if you have never used a straightener you wouldn't recognise them as a danger (I wouldn't and I'm a woman ) I've just never used one. I know they are hot when in use but wouldn't give them a second look just sitting on a counter.

There's a plug on our landing where we plug in our toothbrushes or razors, or we charge them in the bedroom if that plug socket is in use.

Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 23:40

CarefreeMe · 02/11/2022 22:32

It is the responsibility of the parent in charge to watch the child.

Which he did do - no one is (I thought) stupid enough to leave hair straighteners plugged in.
Therefore why would he check this.

It’s not possible to go around and check every plug socket in the house in case your adult partner has left something dangerous plugged in.

It would have taken a second for the child to have turned them on, in literally a blink of an eye.

People are stupid enough to leave them plugged in in a home they live alone in.
But to leave them plugged in a home where there is a young child is just plain irresponsible.

I can guarantee that if DH had left something dangerous out or the front door wide open and the child got hurt - posters wouldn’t be blaming OP for not keeping a closer eye on him.

Do not agree. Why did he need to have a shower? Why couldn’t he wait until the OP was home? This is his fault. The child shouldn’t have been meandering around unwatched.

And I leave my straighteners plugged in all the time. And the fridge, tv, tumble drier, washing machine, phone charger, microwave, lamps…

TokenGinger · 02/11/2022 23:43

Herejustforthisone · 02/11/2022 23:40

Do not agree. Why did he need to have a shower? Why couldn’t he wait until the OP was home? This is his fault. The child shouldn’t have been meandering around unwatched.

And I leave my straighteners plugged in all the time. And the fridge, tv, tumble drier, washing machine, phone charger, microwave, lamps…

Show quote history

She said in her OP that he left to go to work when she got home, so presumably he was showering for work.

Calandor · 02/11/2022 23:50

Are people unable to read properly on here? They were off and cold. The child switched them on at the hair end and then they'd have had to get hot and then the child touch the bars.

Sounds like DH wasn't watching him while he showered tbh.

mattyprice4004 · 02/11/2022 23:58

TheGoodEnoughWife · 02/11/2022 20:29

Again with the making excuses for a man left in charge of his child.

Someone has actually said it is entirely the OPs fault. When she wasn't even in the house.

FFS a father looking after his child should be able to make sure a small room is safe for his child. Stop bloody excusing awful unsafe parenting by blaming the parent that wasn't even in the house.

And crap do men not know how straighteners work. Again FFS.

Despite them being plugged in with power going to them?
Behave!

KrisAkabusi · 03/11/2022 00:00

marvellousmaple · 02/11/2022 23:11

Oh so people in the UK, how do you charge your electric toothbrushes? Or your electric razors? My bathroom has 4 powerpoints, we leave a little night light plugged in and on all night for our DS if he needs to go to the loo. That's in the bathroom too. Confusing you don't seem to have them.
Hope your DS is ok OP but I do agree that if you have never used a straightener you wouldn't recognise them as a danger (I wouldn't and I'm a woman ) I've just never used one. I know they are hot when in use but wouldn't give them a second look just sitting on a counter.

Most bathrooms have a small light with a two pin socket attached above the sink. They can only be used to power toothbrushes and razors as every other appliance is sold with a three pin plug.

DickeryDock · 03/11/2022 00:08

You need to buy a heat resistant pouch to store them in and then pack them safely away every time. They did a big campaign when my son was little (10years ago) as so many children got burnt. You can buy the pouches on Amazon

underneaththeash · 03/11/2022 00:11

I’d also be worried about electrocution. There’s a reason we don’t have electrical sockets in a bathroom.

unplug and re-plug ever time you use them.

BadNomad · 03/11/2022 00:33

Gosh. Straighteners are one of those things I thought everyone unplugged when not in use. Like the iron, or the chainsaw. Or at the very least turned the power off at the socket. Don't leave things like that in reach of toddlers.

SirenSays · 03/11/2022 01:04

The blame game helps no one. Hope your little one is OK and no doubt you'll both be more careful in the future.

Conkersareback · 03/11/2022 01:33

Calandor · 02/11/2022 23:50

Are people unable to read properly on here? They were off and cold. The child switched them on at the hair end and then they'd have had to get hot and then the child touch the bars.

Sounds like DH wasn't watching him while he showered tbh.

No of course it's difficult to watch a child whilst you shower, but who is so lazy/stupid to leave straighteners still plugged in over night, with no intention of using them?

Unplug them and put them away!