Being blamed for sons injury

[Lemonpink88]

Today I got home from dropping my older son at nursery. My husband was watching our 2 year old at home whilst waiting for a delivery. I arrived home and our 2 year old had burnt his hand upon my straighteners. My husband said this had happend as he had taken him into the bathroom whilst he was having a shower so he could keep an eye on him. My straighteners were plugged in and switched on at the plug but switched off at the hair end. My son got hold of the straighteners and burnt his hand whilst my husband washed. My husband blames the accident upon me as I had left the straighteners plugged in. He says it is 75% my fault and really told me off as I entered the house. I am furious as he is right I shouldn’t of left the straighteners plugged in however he should supervise our son when he is looking after him and not blame his poor parenting upon me. It was then left upon me to soothe our son, treat the burn & work from home & take the delivery whilst he went off to work.
im aware we shouldn’t be arguing over this and be a team but my husband has made me so angry by blaming the accident upon me that I’d appreciate some advice. He works long hours running a business and is very stressed and I work party time in a stressful job and manage the majority of childcare/ house work/mental load.

Your straighteners must be faulty if they were still hot after being left on a counter over night ?

There is a switch on the straighteners that turns them on. The child would have had to find the switch and turn them on.

They wouldn't have been left on overnight the child turned the switch on that is on the straighteners itself.

If the straighteners were within the child’s reach, your husband could have been well supervising, but children are quick and he could have touched it in a second with your husband right next to him.

so unfortunately it is all your fault.

having a child in the bathroom while taking a shower is reasonable, if your husband was watching him the whole time.

but nothing too bad happened, and no one is perfect, so I wouldn’t be too harsh on yourself. Lessons learned and all that. And your husband acted in the moment, I would have acted the same, but would have cooled off later.

But the op says specifically they were switched off at the hair end.

My ds got badly burned a few years ago. We spent 2 weeks in the burns unit.

hair straighteners are the biggest cause of hospital admissions for burns to little ones, yes, and they’re horrific

i hope your ds isn’t too badly burned, keep an eye on the wound and get him seen asap if things change, pharmacy first if you’re having to wait for a doctor appointment.

I know how you’ll be both blaming yourselves, seeing our baby with injuries we had a hand In letting happen are awful. I think you get this with burns more than anything else. More than a broken limb or a cut. Its weird.

blaming yourself is pointless, it’s done and you’ve learned a big lesson. Hug

he will get better

Yes. Thank you. I agree. I cannot understand what the fuck the posters blaming the OP are going on about.

Your fault entirely.

If the tables were turned would you take responsibility for a hazard your husband left without your knowledge?

Her husband is probably not be aware how straighteners work.

while he was taking the shower and saw the child moving around, he didn’t see the child pressing the button to turn them on.

he could have been brushing his teeth with the child moving around him, pressing the button then touching the hot part.

I don’t see how it’s his fault. The straighteners were left within reach, plugged in. It’s not unreasonable to have a shower with child in clear view. He didn’t leave his beard trimmer plugged in, for ex. He was not aware of the danger as I’m sure most men have no idea how straighteners work.

the child could have also turned them on, then off with the father to the kitchen, back for a wee, touch and get burnt even worse, the longer you leave the, the worse it is.

JFC !! You leave hair straighteners, plugged in and switched on at the wall, in your bathroom ?? They could easily start a fire or electrocute your little one if he had come into contact with water. I'm sure you must have other mirrors in your house that you could safely use them and then unplug and put out of harms way.

You’re both equally to blame. I mean of course you should never leave hair straighteners plugged in and unattended. Whether you’ve got a toddler in the house or not. You should definitely mention it to anyone in the house if you do need to leave them on for any reason (although why you would I don’t know).

However yes he should have kept a closer eye on your toddler.

When you’ve got small children, you should ALWAYS switch off the hair straighteners at the socket when you’ve finished with them and ideally, unplug them too. Also, they shouldn’t be kept anywhere that small children can reach.

Presumably you wouldn’t leave the clothes iron and ironing board out and plugged in?

Apportioning blame is ridiculous. Your child suffered an injury and both of you need to work out how to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

However, I’m also wondering why your husband didn’t ensure your child was in a secure playpen if he wasn’t actively supervising him. Leaving a two year old completely unsupervised is negligent parenting.

Yes, the child tuned it on. With best supervision and children can still do this in a split second while you’re bending to pick up a dropped toy, for ex, etc etc.

this is not the fault of someone who is not aware of the danger, as I bet most men aren’t.

it’s the fault of whoever left it within reach, plugged in.

Again with the making excuses for a man left in charge of his child.

Someone has actually said it is entirely the OPs fault. When she wasn't even in the house.

FFS a father looking after his child should be able to make sure a small room is safe for his child. Stop bloody excusing awful unsafe parenting by blaming the parent that wasn't even in the house.

And crap do men not know how straighteners work. Again FFS.

I don’t think he is to blame at all. If I saw straighteners just lying around I wouldn’t be hesitant to touch them, because I’d assume they were off.

These things happen and it’s not the end of the world. But I think you need to take full responsibility for this one.

Oh I misread, they weren’t left switched on. I still wouldn’t leave them plugged in tbh - I never do and I don’t have a toddler.

It’s a bit like the iron - once it’s cooled, it’s something that’s always put completely away.

They had been switched off since the night before but your son burnt himself? Or did he switch them on?

If they were hot after being switched off for several hours then that sounds like a very dangerous fault.

The plugs just outside our bathroom door so the lead goes under the door and they rest upon the counter. I hadn’t used them today but they were plugged in from last night.
You are both to blame if you indulge in such foolish behavior. No electrical appliance not designed for bathroom use should ever be used in these circumstances. The electrical installation regulations are intended to prevent these situation.

220 degrees on a child’s sensitive skin ! Jesus.

Stop arguing and make sure (both of you!) that nothing similar can ever happen again.

I didn’t know how straighteners worked until I got one at 30. I could have seen one plugged in and wouldn’t have been aware it could be too hot to touch or I can accidentally press a button if I move it out of the way, or what pressing the button meant, as I didn’t know it worked on heat.

Also should I know by default how all electrical devices work?

But knowing how it works and that children are quick, how can you leave it plugged in though, within a child’s reach, easy to turn on? Even without leaving it within reach, plugged in for long periods in the bathroom? What happens if it gets splashed with some water? I’m not sure but definitely wouldn’t want to find out.

Hair straighteners really burn its awful so must be even worse for a little one.

What really disgusts me is your DH just getting himself off to work!

You are both at fault but you more so imo. Even while watching a toddler it’s easy to miss what they see doing and in a split second an accident could already happen.
You left them plugged in and within east reach.
Whoever is watching the toddler shouldn’t have to do a sweep of the home looking for hazards the other adult has left about!

I think a parent looking after a child in a room where they will be distracted should ALWAYS look for anything that could be an issue before get busy.

A little bit, yes!

I think you were to blame op. As a pp said, unless your dh knew they were plugged in too, in which case he should also take some blame.