Eating with a knife and fork in the wrong hands

[Getabloominmoveon]

Just sat in a cafe next to a whole family eating with their fork in the right hand and knife in the left. On the other side a young guy was struggling to chop up his food with just a fork. A few weeks ago an adult friend of mine admitted she didn’t know which way to set a table.This is In the UK btw.

When did this start? Have they never eaten with a table set with cutlery? Don’t people teach their kids how to eat properly any more?

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

How do you know the people in your op didn't fit one of the caveats?

Did you ask them?

Who said a knife has to be in your right hand. How do you know they weren't a family of leftys.

Stop being so judgemental about people you know nothing about

Yes - you sound like Hyacinth Bouquet.

Was your food so shit that you had nothing better to do than police the knife etiquette of some other table? Bloody hell.

Family of 5 here.
2 left handed who eat the "correct" way.
3 right handed who eat the "wrong" way.
Who cares?! We all have the same good manners when we eat, the food is just physically put into our mouths with the hand that feels most natural.

I am 33. I can't use a knife and fork 'correctly'. I hold them properly to cut food up but find it very awkward and clumsy to eat with my fork in the left hand. I put it down to having been a very fussy eater as a child. It's never bothered anyone (except maybe my DM)

Decent grammar and punctuation are also basic life skills.

My knife and fork are not in the ‘wrong’ hands - I’m eating left-handed.

I'm left handed, use cutlery the 'wrong' way, and I hold the knife like a pen.

Let me pass you the smelling salts

I'm ambidextrous, I write with my right hand as its neater but I eat with my knife in my left hand as I find it easier. As long as people are not using knives like forks etc and the general table manners are good, does it really matter if the cutlery is the wrong way round?

I've always used them in the wrong hands, though no idea how that started. I'm from a very old fashioned traditional family I'd say, as well. I think they noticed too late!

The only meals that I eat that require both is a roast. My other meals use hands, chopsticks, fork or spoon eg curry, pasta, sandwiches

Left handed people use their right hand for forks btw It is mean to call that wrong even of you're from a generation where left handedness was seen as something that needed correcting.

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

Why is it a basic life skill though?
Why should they eat with their right hands?
How was your day or their day impacted by eating with the ‘wrong’ hands?

Genuine questions and curious to see what your thought process is.

My older brother (only sibling) is left handed and I imagine I copied him when I was learning how to use cutlery, terribly sorry it offends you OP!

Waiting for the thread from the MN who went to a cafe this morning and saw the nosey weird fucker gawping at her family as they ate.

DS has eaten most meals of his life at a table (we even take one camping) but due to ASD and dyspraxia he finds it very difficult and uncomfortable to manipulate cutlery.

I focus on things that actually affect other people like not talking with his mouth full, sitting before eating, keeping his knees out of the way (because it's messier for someone to deal with) and not "sharing" his media with everyone else in the vincinity. Harmless points of style are not worth the additional load for him to process and the risk of meltdowns that will ruin everyone's dining experience.

Many left handed people swap to their dominant hands. Differences like this often run in families, or children learning the same style as their parents.

As someone who was taught all of the table ‘rules’ DH and I have already discussed we will not be passing these on and enforcing with DD. My grandparents were from a very working class background, and did everything to erase that.

It’s classist bs.

And if DD wants to attend certain social events or mix in certain circles then sure I’ll give her some tips but honestly, how do you let this worry you so much?

Why would anyone ever need to set a table 'correctly' unless they worked in that industry?

I can only use one hand so I struggle by with just using a fork too.

My dd is left handed and that's why her cutlery is the 'wrong' way.

Bunch of judgemental snobbery and says far more about you than anyone else.

Agree ^

😆

No good talking to me about it, i think the UK is full of mannerless beasts. i was so thoroughly indoctrinated to do things properly as a child I can no longer eat out in case I see someone holding their knife like a pen and pass right out.

Did it affect you in any way?
I eat with my fork in my "wrong" hand. For reasons that are nothing to do with anyone else. My table manners are otherwise perfectly reasonable.

But if you're right handed it makes sense to use the right hand to pick up a fork?

YABVU. I have always eaten the 'wrong way' growing up family tried take me eat the 'right' way and it was miserable. I just can't do it effectively. It had a seriously negative impact on me and my relationship with meal times. One of our 2 DC are the same and I hate when anyone tries to correct them.
How someone else holds their cutlery has absolutely 0 impact on you so let them get on with it.
I am perfectly capable, as are my children of setting a formal table.

This is me. I could have been left handed but the belief that right handedness is somehow better meant that I write with my right hand as that is what was drilled into me at school. For other tasks I am left handed.

My Grandad was left handed and forced his life to be right handed.

But I do think cutlery use is very much falling away. I barely have meals that use a knife anymore - especially now as a family we are vegan/vegetarian and no meat to cut!