Eating with a knife and fork in the wrong hands

[Getabloominmoveon]

Just sat in a cafe next to a whole family eating with their fork in the right hand and knife in the left. On the other side a young guy was struggling to chop up his food with just a fork. A few weeks ago an adult friend of mine admitted she didn’t know which way to set a table.This is In the UK btw.

When did this start? Have they never eaten with a table set with cutlery? Don’t people teach their kids how to eat properly any more?

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

We eat the opposite way round to you (although the right way to us) because as Muslims we use the left hand for ‘dirty’ things e.g. the hand we use in the loo, and our right hand is kept clean for things like eating, wearing our wedding rings, etc

I know the "correct" (who decides these things though?) way to hold cutlery and to set a table but I... don't care?

I hold my cutlery the "wrong" way because that's what's comfortable and less messy for me.

She felt comfortable bullying a 21 year old shy young woman who was new to the company! Would never have picked on a peer who was (in her eyes) equal to her!

Awful woman!!!

I just shovel everything in my mouth with a spoon, fewer dropsies that way.

I have to admit I'd be a little agog at that in a restaurant! (but not enough to start a thread about it)
In my own home, however, I have been known to let manners slip significantly....

The correct way to use a knife and fork is to be able to cut and eat your food without making a mess off your plate.

That's it. Anything more is pure snobbery nothing to do with good manners and everything to do with superiority.

Frankly having a superior attitude is far ruder than someone using the "wrong" hand to cut their potato!

I'm right handed but I use my knife in my left. My whole family does. Yabvvu.

This is such a ridiculous and snobby way to think, how uptight must someone be to care about which hand another person holds their cutlery?

I might be a bit sore about this topic though because when I was at school I was told I ate with the fork in the 'wrong' hand, they sat me at the edge of the table every lunchtime with a teacher next to me watching me making me eat the 'right' way. It was so humiliating and I used to cry and just not eat.

My grandparents were working class and left school at 13 but had good table manners and used cutlery correctly. I don't see it as a class issue, just old-fashioned good manners.

But of course manners and customs change, so perhaps using a knife and fork will just fall out of fashion completely 🤷‍♀️

I agree that anyone that judges anyone else for this is exceptionally rude, and would go along with "if it doesn't impact you, mind your own business".

However, I do agree it is a life skill worth acquiring. If you find yourself in a situation where everyone else knows this kind of stuff and you don't, it doesn't help your self-confidence, particularly if its a work related situation.

So yes, know that your side plate is to your left, your wine glass to your right, work your way in from outside to in on the cutlery and all of that, but never ever judge anyone else for not knowing that stuff. Commenting on other people's manners immediately classifies you as rude.

She was never taught proper manners- ie it's extremely rude to do what she did!
What a nasty woman.

You need to get a life. I write with my right hand and eat with my knife in my left hand. I was picked on relentlessly by a really nasty teacher about it when I was about 8 years old. It got to the point my mum had to complain about the bullying. Years and years later I'm still self conscious about it. Whose business is it how someone eats?? As long as they're not chucking their food around the room and eating like a warthog how does it have any impact on you whatsoever?

I think there’s a difference though between table manners and having to have cutlery in specific hands, which I personally think is a class thing.

And I don’t think anyones suggesting we do away with cutlery all together, although there are plenty of cultures where it’s not as common.

Yes. This. Can you eat without making a huge mess and/or disturbing other diners? Are you polite to fellow eaters and any serving staff? If you can manage that, i don't really care.

Having said that, for my first job, my second interview was in a restaurant and it was quite clearly to see how I behaved in public. I'd like to think that it was more about the above than how I held my knife and fork. Either way, I did get the job!

I use my cutlery the wrong way round. I'm left handed. I can't do it the other way without making a mess.

So many caveats especially in our multi-cultural society in the UK, I'm not sure why this still bothers you, OP? As long as those people are kind people, who cares if they eat using just a fork ?! Some people even use just chopsticks! Radical!

People should feel free to use their cutlery how it suits them. This “right and wrong” way is outadated and surely harks down from some ridiculous class system that no longer applies - please get a grip and leave others to enjoy their food in peace ✌️

Haha this just reminded me of the time I walked into the kitchen and caught my gran licking a plate. She was absolutely mortified!

Hospitality professional of 10 years here, have set up many a place setting for weddings over those years... I still eat with a knife and fork in the 'wrong' hands - it just feels right to me : )

Who even made up a rule for eating a set way? I do it as it was drilled into me as a kid but seriously humans have so many bloody rules you should at least be able to eat which ever way is most comfortable for you. Arguably the most intelligent species but also the dumbest as we make our lives harder just because we can at times. Life is too short to care which hand a fork is in

What a ridiculous post. My 3 kids and dad are left handed so can I expect to be judged if out with them.

My dad taught me how to lay the table and as he's left handed I always have to double check.

Who actually decided there was a "right" or a "wrong" way to hold cutlery in the first place?
I'm left handed.....interesting that the word 'sinister' actually means 'coming from the left'.
When I started school , very rural in the arse end of nowhere, I was the only leftie in the place. My teacher actually tied...TIED...my left hand behind my back to encourage me to use my right . That lasted until my mum came into the school like a raging bull. I'm actually ambidextrous, can write with either hand, but my default setting is left. I used to knit and reverse the pattern. My whole body is geared towards the left. Nobody has ever looked aghast at me while I'm eating and if they did they'd get short shrift....cheeky fuckers!

JFC. I eat the “wrong” way round, and have inadvertently taught my DD to do the same. I literally give no shits about it, but am shocked that you find it necessary to judge people like me. It’s more comfortable and the way I’ve always done it.

I am left handed and physically can’t eat the ‘correct’ way round. Literally the only place I have ever encountered criticism of this is Mumsnet, which seems to be full of tedious lower middle class Hyacinth Buckets.

As long as you are eating neatly without annoying or disturbing other diners, it makes absolutely no fucking difference which hand you hold your knife in.

YABU.

I doubt anyone really cares.

In some places it's normal to eat with your fingers.

I wouldn't call holding cutlery a basic life skill either.