Eating with a knife and fork in the wrong hands

[Getabloominmoveon]

Just sat in a cafe next to a whole family eating with their fork in the right hand and knife in the left. On the other side a young guy was struggling to chop up his food with just a fork. A few weeks ago an adult friend of mine admitted she didn’t know which way to set a table.This is In the UK btw.

When did this start? Have they never eaten with a table set with cutlery? Don’t people teach their kids how to eat properly any more?

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

At least you use cutlery. My husband quite often doesn't bother. I've long given up on him. That, and eating with his mouth open. I can't watch.

It doesn't matter how they use their cutlery as long as they don't disgust you at the dinner table.

I'd assume they were left handed or dyspraxic as I'm dyspraxic and swap between left and right.

Life skills are things you need to make the most out of life. Being able to use cutlery I guess could be considered a life skill - being able to use it in a particular 'British' way because some people think that's the 'right' way is just nonsense. Setting a table is not a life skill, no one cares about it unless it's your job. I think you need to get a life OP.

But how did you know they’re not left handed?

It always look so awkward, clumsy and untidy.
To be fair I have only noticed people in the UK doing it, lately, but I have a German friend, not left-handed, who used to eat like this. His "excuse" was that he picked it up during his social year abroad in the USA.
However, surely table manners are part of basic etiquette and taught at home or clearly not if this phenomenon is manifesting itself more widely.
I refuse to believe that "large swathes" of the population are now left-handed or having some other "label" that requires them to behave outside, what used to be, the accepted norm.
My left-handed family members and friends do not eat like this.

I don’t think it’s because you’ve ‘touched a nerve’ it’s more because you are a sneery, rude and judgmental person.

I'm in my 60s and was always taught to just smash my head down onto my plate and gobble - it's fast and efficient and no one can complain about you using cutlery incorrectly.

Another left-hander here who holds cutlery "correctly" whereas my righthanded DH and DS both use it the opposite way (or incorrectly according to your logic).

We fall into one of those caveats. I use my fork in my right hand as I wouldn't ever eat with the left (cultural). This has been one of the hardest things to teach my children, especially my eldest who has issues with her motor skills. In general we eat with our hands but obviously things like pasta, fish and chips or a roast you can't. I'm working on their skills to use cutlery. If anyone has any tips, I'd be interested.

How did you know looking at someone on another table that they were left handed?

Left-handed here, with 2 left-handed parents. All of us eat correctly. Never felt the need to do it wrong. DS is right-handed and insists on doing it the wrong way round. I don't think it's anything to do with handedness.

We are concentrating on trying to get him to hold his cutlery properly and not stab his food so letting the wrong hand thong slide but it does annoy me.

DP is right-handed but uses cutlery left-handed. This took me an embarrassingly long time to notice and my mind was blown a bit. My mind was blown even more when I realised his left-handed sister uses her cutlery right-handed. Neither of them have an explanation for this.

It would never occur to me to care. They both have decent table manners.

I’m left handed and use my cutlery correctly. It’s a basic skill and I do judge anyone who can’t use cutlery. It’s not a hard skill to learn.

I’d be mortified eating in public with someone who ate with fingers, cutting with a fork etc. I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. The “you’re classist” crowd are just far louder on MN.

I'm left handed.

I never learnt to do it and I tried and was made try.

How can you say a blanket statement like that?

I’m right-handed but have always held a fork in my right hand, why wouldn’t you when you’re raising your hand to your mouth repeatedly?
I am useless with my left hand and totally unable to spear food with a fork in that hand.

I don't understand how it could be considered bad manners to eat with the knife in my left hand and the fork in my right. Who am I offending by quietly eating and minding my own business? I'm certainly not an untidy or clumsy eater nor, I imagine, is anyone else who eats the same way around as me.

My daughter and i are both right handed and eat with knife in left, fork in right. DH is left handed and eats the so called correct way.

I thought I might be singled out at some large dinners I attended 20 years ago with my then fiance who was from aristocratic family and not one person noticed or if they did, did not make comment.

So when my daughter started eating the same as me I never bothered to correct it because it makes no difference.

Why does it matter? It's a load of bollocks.

In this house, I'm left-handed but use mine the traditional way round, DH is left-handed and uses them the opposite way round to me, and DC1 is right-handed but uses them what is considered the wrong way round. DC2 is an autistic toddler and mainly uses his hands.

It's pointless snobby tradition.

Oh dear. Do you do all the things I said I don’t like?

I generally use cutlery 'correctly' because that is what feels natural to me, not because it was ingrained in me.

However, 'correct' usage is also very much dependent on what it is you're actually eating. Food styles have changes so much now that traditional cutlery can be awkward and clunky to use, for example fajitas, ribs, chicken wings, naan, leafy salads, lobster, crab, some pizzas even! For linguine I use a spoon and fork rather than a knife and fork. In Thai restaurants we're given a spoon and fork because dishes are rice or noodle based.

Unless I'm eating traditional 'English/British' meals of potatoes, meat and veg (🤢) every day, I don't know why we should be using cutlery 'correctly' at all times.

And you really stuck your beak in and asked a stranger in a cafe if he was left-handed?

Wow, just when I thought mumsnet couldn't get anymore batshit 🤣 OP, anyone eating the 'wrong' way round, which includes me, does it because that's what feels right. I write right handed, eat left handed, have done since I was a kid, my Dad was the same, it's very common and definitely isn't a sign of bad manners. I'm all for sitting nicely at the table, eating with mouths shut etc, this is something people can't help, so yes you are being ridiculously unreasonable.

I'd agree that it's a basic life skills to be able to use a knife and fork.

Doesn't matter which hand you do it with though!!

I'd also class being able to wipe one's own arse a basic life skill..... but again, who cares if you use your right or left hand and fold or scrunch?

I could dine with the King & not show myself up.
However.. in my own home, I am a slob & just shovel food up with a fork, whilst watching Judge Judy. (She doesn't seem to mind.)

@AmyDudley Love it! ;-)

I would only consider 'wrong hands' as being someone else's with my cutlery.

Most food now doesn't need a knife. In fact it's pointless for most of the food we enjoy eating (and no its not all junk food but is lots of dal, stews, rice)
One child had additional needs and isn't great with food or cutlery
My other child I'm embarrassed to say is pretty rubbish and a teen. I'm training her.
As a child I was taught to use cutlery properly at an early age because we ate meat and 2 veg dinners only. We'd be chastised for not doing so.
I only want my dc to learn in case they go to posh dinners as adults. Otherwise I think its a waste of time really. Its only from a brief period of history and a small part of the world and who actually cares!
Eating with your mouth open is a lot worse!