Eating with a knife and fork in the wrong hands

[Getabloominmoveon]

Just sat in a cafe next to a whole family eating with their fork in the right hand and knife in the left. On the other side a young guy was struggling to chop up his food with just a fork. A few weeks ago an adult friend of mine admitted she didn’t know which way to set a table.This is In the UK btw.

When did this start? Have they never eaten with a table set with cutlery? Don’t people teach their kids how to eat properly any more?

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

But who says that's the right way. People should eat how they are comfortable there's no right or wrong. And you definitely need to get out more. Bore off

@CallieQ

why?

I’ve always called myself a leftie? As do most of the (few) left handed people I know.

I like it. I’m proud of it.

Only absolute idiots insist there is a correct hand to hold a knife and fork in thereby denying basic biology.

Its hilarious that a small few have chosen to highlight their own stupidity on here.

They must be trolls because honestly is anyone really that dumb?

What I find most confusing about this whole argument is the people insisting that those who eat the other way around must have no table manners at all. It's like they view it like this:

Fork in right hand: Spits at dinner, talks with mouth full, waves cutlery about, spills drinks.

Fork in left hand: Perfect grace at all times at the table.

Why can't they see how batshit crazy that is? There will be PLENTY of people who eat with their fork in their left hand who have no table manners at all. The two are not synonymous.

And then people referring to following high society dinner etiquette from long ago... If this is how you operate in your day-to-day life, then I hope you also admonish your SO's if they dare to come to dinner wearing anything other than white tie.

Dinner etiquette changes over time. It evolves. We don't all still lounge on couches Roman style or send dinner invitations to the gods so why are you clinging on to the idea that holding the fork in your left hand is vital?

Because they're twats.

@00100001 Seemingly so!

This reminds me of being nightshift and my friend who said I was lazy because I'd be asleep in the afternoon. "I've been up for hours!" she'd say, incredulous.

The few times I attempted to explain to/argue with her, her reasoning came down to 'because you should'

TheBirdinTheCave,

🤣🤣🤣

I’m thinking a sacrifice before we feast.

@Morestrangethings Haha why not? Or how about serving up some dormice to symbolise how wealthy we are?

My dd is a lefty and according to you she holds her cutlery "wrong". It's not actually "wrong" at all for left handed people. What a pointless moan.

I don’t believe this is true. I believe they choose people who are polite and have good manners, but I simply don’t believe that the company choose people based on which hand they hold the fork in. Calling absolute BS, I believe she is lying.

Am I dreaming that I have explained the origins of eating with ones fork/knife in particular hands TWICE now?

No, it wasn't for 'lazy waiters' either, and I am pretty sure waiting staff in large homes didn't get much opportunity to be lazy.

For the hard of reading..

Organising place settings all in the same direction looks neat, means you can organise who sits where the moment they enter the room, won't confuse guests.

If you have not seen a full formal place setting for 7 courses or 5 courses... I include a photo..

Trying to set that out, or even the slightly less complicated 5 course setting, some right handed and some left handed, would be a nightmare, would be very confusing.

Sitting at that setting and trying to swap cutlery over at each course would be disruptive and risk dropping stuff, clattering stuff, which disturbs conversation and draws attention.

And finally, sitting close together as one would be at a large but full, long table with place settings that big, in big bustly dresses or fluff sleeves - matching up left handed and right handed people the wrong way and you'll get elbows clashing and people feeling uncomfortable.

And there was a view that left handedness was just wrong and something to be corrected - and there were lots of shitty reasons for that and a few good ones (draw your sword with the left hand against a right handed opponent = die!)

I am not saying all this applies now, it doesn't, but this faux bafflement at the reasons behind these rules is ridiculous!

As for them being a weird British affectation... ha!

The Italians started this business with multiple forks in the 1500's, the French eventually caught on after several decades of dislike, and the British didn't go for the idea until 1633 as it was too effeminate! Up to that point, they were stabbing things with their knives and using their hands instead of a fork.

From there things went crazy and as the trend for banquets with piles of food laid out on the table passed, the one for huge amounts of cutlery and ceramic and eventually porcelain dining sets took off, as with food served by staff, there was now room on the table for billions of plates, forks knives, glasses, spoons etc. Mass production also meant that achieving matchy-matchy perfection became a thing.

Some of the rules don't matter so much now, we aren't eating at long tables, packed in like sardines with 9billion forks and knives to contend with. But I think those that involve not pinging food at one another or avoiding knocking stuff over are probably still worthwhile!

The fork fourth from the left looks like a pickle or egg fork?

It would be nice if people who live in the US who aren’t American would just say the region they are in vs saying the US. It is not the norm for all of the US. It’s regional like certain things are in the UK.

This is me exactly too. Even in the 1980s when I went to primary school I had the pencil removed from my left hand and put into my right hand. I can write with both hands but some things I can only do right handed and some only left handed. Operating a cutlery knife is one of the left handed things (although no problems chopping stuff up right handed).

I don't talk with my mouth full, I don't have my elbows on the table, I can set a table for a formal meal with multiple courses and I'm a stickler for which beverage goes in which glass. I have also raised a child with decent manners who can be taken to any restaurant without annoying other diners. But I hold my cutlery in the "wrong" hands. I fail to see how that adversely affects anyone's life, and would judge the hell out of the OP for raising the point or even noticing.

You're missing the point. Yes, I know it looks neat. But real life is not 'neat'. And neatness should be irrelevant when a person is left handed and simply cannot manage a fork with their right hand. That's the point. That the convention should no longer be used in today's society, as we're, well mostly, more educated today regarding people's abilities or inabilities.

For the hard of reading.. Bit rude @WiddlinDiddlin, but anyway, I politely read your vast post and conclude that the history of setting tables doesn't help us here. I can't imagine anyone expects tables to be laid in a bespoke manner for the individual. I lay my own humble little table in the traditional way because it's uniform and pleasing to the eye, but once everyone gets their hands on their own cutlery, it's a feckin free-for-all and I, for one, am alright with that.

I'm left handed. I hold the fork in my left hand and the knife in my right. I don't hold my fork or knife correctly. Nor do I hold my pen correctly ( I write neater holding it wrong) do I care? No because I know that I'm lucky to have access to food and realise a lack of food is a far bigger problem than holding cutlery incorrectly will ever be.

I do wonder about the kind of person who can get so invested in which hand someone holds their food stabber in. It's quite pathetic.

@NotAnotherPylon I didn't say it helped, I was answering (as I thought I'd made clear) the people who claim these rules never had a purpose beyond tripping up the less wealthy/lower classes, or claim they've no idea why these things were ever a thing.

Some of them (lots of them in fact) still do have a purpose, but many no longer apply with our much more casual dining habits.

And neatness should be irrelevant when a person is left handed and simply cannot manage a fork with their right hand
This again makes it daft for people to call holding their cutlery the wrong way round the left-handed way. Fork in the left hand is traditional. Some people prefer to hold the fork in the right and knife in the left. Lumping this together as the preference of all left-handed people annoys me. I am left handed and would find holding a fork in my right hand tricky.

People want to hold their cutlery the unconventional way round? Fine, knock yourself out (and try not to knock your neighbour's elbows in the process) but please stop calling it left-handed!

I’ve come across this video - first result that popped up when I google searched “correct way to eat with a knife and fork”. I haven’t read this whole thread so it may have been posted before, but I think this tells us all we need to know in the first minute or so.

www.google.co.uk/search?q=how+to+hold+knife+and+fork&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari

That was really irritating. He starts off saying if you are left-handed you do what he demonstrates but swapping hands. Just assuming that is what all of us lefties want or feel the need to do.

Pisses me right off.

@DappledThings yes true, but I guess he’s distinguishing between how it was expected back then, and how we actually apply it now.