Eating with a knife and fork in the wrong hands

[Getabloominmoveon]

Just sat in a cafe next to a whole family eating with their fork in the right hand and knife in the left. On the other side a young guy was struggling to chop up his food with just a fork. A few weeks ago an adult friend of mine admitted she didn’t know which way to set a table.This is In the UK btw.

When did this start? Have they never eaten with a table set with cutlery? Don’t people teach their kids how to eat properly any more?

At the risk of sounding like Hyacinth Bouquet AIBU to think that this is a basic life skill and people should eat with their cutlery in the right hands (unless left-handed, different cultures, Americans and all the other caveats of course).

Yes, stop calling it the left handed way! All the lefties in my house (3 of us) eat the "right" way. 2 of the righties use their cutlery the opposite way. Because I'm not fussed which hands they use, as long as they use cutlery properly, it took me a very long time to notice they actually used it differently. We've had discussions about it and all tried swapping hands, and found it very awkward, and much more likely to draw attention and make mess, so I wouldn't have tried to stop them, even as youngsters.

I'm also saddened and surprised to read people in the 80s were made to use their right hand. Both me and my brother (born late 70s) had no trouble being lefties at school.

I know my aunt was made to use her right hand, she was born in the 1920s, and resented it.

I'm right-handed but use a knife and fork like a left-handed person, but use a spoon like a right-hander, so occasionally get into difficulties with dessert.

I do find that some people are very irritated by it, demand to know why I do it. I have no idea (my mum is a lefty but eats the 'proper' way - she was effectively bullied into it as a child, including having her left hand tied to a chair). By some people's reaction you'd think it was tantamount to eating straight off the plate.

@WiddlinDiddlin "because it looks neat" isn't a good enough explanation. Most people don't sit at a formal dining table every night. And people have so many things going on in their lives that how they hold their cutlery is the last thing on their minds because it's trivial. And it is not an indication of someone's character and it is not going to hold them back in their lives or prevent them from success. It's a personal preference, not a necessity. I have never in my life encountered anyone concerned with this, so it's not that universal.

And again - how do you explain the way other cultures eat their food? Are they uncivilized?

Heard it with my own ears. Comments from the MD after a client dinner that a certain colleague could never represent the business where food was being served again as their table manners were appalling. Including being unable to use cutlery correctly

All you got from all I have written is 'because it looks neat'?

I give up.

Other cultures eat in other ways, thats fine too, they have rules and constructs that suit where they live and how they live.

If you wipe your arse with your right hand, in a place where clean water is scarce and toilet paper non existant, then eating with your left hand only makes perfect sense.

Im sure if thats where you happen to be eating, and you whip out a knife and fork, no one would really care, but they might be curious, confused or think that you're making a point that you're better than them in some way perhaps. Start eating with only your right hand and they might well think you're revolting (or that you wipe your arse with the other hand, who can say).

Again as I have said before, I am not saying these are right or wrong, I am saying these are why these particular 'rules' exist here in the UK and that some of it is still sensible.

I have no issue with people eating with their cutlery the 'wrong' way round (where have I said I have?), but I do take issue with people eating in a way that negatively affects others (pinging food about, clattering loudly, chewing with mouth open, talking with mouth full, leaning across others, all grim stuff that generally leads me to think the person is thoughtless and inconsiderate).

Aye, course you did.

@WiddlinDiddlin all I'm seeing is that it's a personal preference. It's truly bizzare that people are bothered by it because of some antiquated set of rules. In the grand scheme of things - does it really matter that much? People are so occupied with so many other things, why would they put any importance on such a triviality to the point where some random stranger in a cafe sneers at them (talking about the OP) judging them for such a thing.

And the fact that it's in a formal a setting as a cafe! Ridiculous.

What is so wrong with teaching children proper etiquette while dining? If they grow up and decide not to use it while eating meals at home, that's fair enough. I don't either. But I did teach my kids the proper way to eat so they are capable of doing it if in a situation where it's expected and appropriate to do so.

I think the post is saying eating with knife/fork etc is not a case of "proper", but personal preference.

@Florenz Have you not read any of the posts in this thread?!?? There is no such thing as "proper etiquette" when it comes to writing with your left hand or eating with your left hand. 'Convention', ignorance, backward bigotry is not 'proper etiquette'. RTFT.

Maybe it's more important to teach kids that people do things differently, and not to judge them for it - especially when those things affects nor brings harm to other people.

*doesn't affect

My DP and ex DP both hold their knife and forks the “wrong” way. Both right handed.
I always thought it was weird and have made a mental note to make sure any children of mind are taught to use cutlery the “right” way!

You can hold your fork in your right hand and still use cutlery correctly.

@WiddlinDiddlin don't you know it's not good etiquette to put a word in capital letters in the middle of a sentence?

If you did that in your office, what would the MD say to that?

Sorry - it does sound a bit Hyacinth!

I'm not defending WiddlinDiddlin , but internet etiquette says that it's perfectly acceptable to capitalise three words in a sentence for emphasis. As long as the whole sentence isn't capitalised.

@JennyNotFromTheBlock is that current etiquette? Because I thought we were talking about the etiquette from 300 BC?

Judging by the posts on here!