To ask what age you believe it’s appropriate to drink

[MaryIlover]

I’ve seen quite a few threads on here lately in which it seems the prevailing view is that any drinking under the age of 18 is bad and should not be permitted or facilitated by parents. To be honest I don’t really find this marries up with my own experience. Personally I think it’s the norm or at least quite common to start having parties drinking with your friends at about year 10/11 so that would be around 14-16 and that feels about right. My worry with making my DC wait until 18 is that firstly it would cause resentment if they were being left out of all their friends and secondly by 18 most of her friends would be going out clubbing and much more used or alcohol and therefore DC would end up placing themselves in far more risky situations rather than being thrown in at the deep end. Personally I think 15/16 is about the right age (I was about 15 myself) but to condemn all ‘underage drinking’ just seems really out of touch and unrealistic. Aibu?

I don't know why everyone is recommending wine... It blows my head off... And I'm 42. Maybe a small glass is ok.

Some great advise on this thread. DS1 is 15 / year 11. Has been allowed a glass of something fizzy at Xmas but he's not started going to parties yet where I know there is alcohol. I don't really want him to have any alcohol at this age but he's going to at some point I assume. What I really don't want is him turning 18 and maybe going to uni and going absolutely nuts cos he's never experienced it or how it makes you feel, so I almost feel as though I have to start offering it to him.

I think 16 is okay to start at home and then build it up so they can learn about tolerance and keeping yourself safe gradually. I'd have gone out with friends from 16/17 and tbh stopped drinking at that age myself because my friends were all hammered and I ended up being the one making sure they all got home safe/ weren't being sick on themselves/ taken advantage of and I didn't feel like they'd have my back if I was drunk. It felt easier to say I just didn't drink than deal with the pressure to get really drunk. So I didn't start again until I was in uni and there was less pressure. I think it really depends on the kid, how sensible they are and what their friendship group is like?

We used to get small beer at home with lunches on special occasions from I think 13-14.
Outside drinking was quite normal from 16? Not with parents though😁
We got tastes when young like few sips of this and that to large entertainment of adults present when we pulled faces.
Not grew up in UK

And eat! That's one thing which really helps. Eat.
Lots of girls used to not eat before drinking and it doesn't end well.
Eat before and during if you can.
Water

I think it totally depends on the child. I was 13 when I was allowed a weak snowball at Christmas (I'd had little sips before then), 14 when I was allowed a barcardi breezer at Christmas or family parties, 15 I was allowed alcohol at parties but again it was alcopops and by 15 1/2 I was out clubbing (unknown to my mum), drinking and smoking (never touched drugs). That said, I never got so drunk I had no recollection and I am still like that now.
I adopt a similar attitude with DS now he is nearly 15, although up until now he has only tried little sips. He has alcohol free lager which he has on a Saturday night when DH has some beers and I have wine, or we took him out for birthday cocktails for his 14th and he had a cocktail. The none alcoholic options are far greater now and I think he will sway towards those.

Really interesting SuTissue. I agree. My Sister drank from aged 14 and my parents were very lax about her going to pubs and nightclubs underage. I always hated the taste of alcohol, hence my username! However, my parents having a relaxed attitude to drinking in my sister's case did not enable her to have a healthy relationship with alcohol. She started off binge drinking then became increasingly dependent on alcohol and finally became an alcoholic, and died aged 34 from alcoholic liver disease
. As another poster has written up thread, some studies correlate drinking at an early age with more likelihood of having a difficult relationship with alcohol in later life. I find a lot of people in this country's attitude to alcohol really upsetting. On another thread, it was insinuated you are boring if you don't drink and people seem very accepting of alcohol as being a harmless substance just because it's legal. However I realise that my own experiences are colouring my views. My DD is 15 and it's difficult to know what to do for the best given that alcoholism can run in families.

@Dixiechickonhols - age 13. So yes, I have sent my elder DS to parties with a few beers from age 16 - all worked fine and he seems now, at much older, to have a relatively fine attitude to drink. Quite reasonably I was not expecting parents to be presenting free-flow unlimited spirits to young teenagers to the point of them being extremely unwell (not mine being ill but others'.) Not sure what @PeachPies means by suggesting that I 'should have got in first', but nah, I wouldn't be plying my own 13 year old with unlimited neat spirits and wouldn't have expected other parents to do so either.

Teenagers don't seem as focused on alcohol as they were when I was younger. It is more about the weed now from what I can see (and smell!)

I’ll twerk on a table at 3 in the afternoon stone cold sober* and hope my kids are the same*

😂 #mumgoals

13 is too young and not normal at all in our area. I wouldn’t be happy with that.

My DD is 14 and I’d be quite annoyed if a parent gave her alcohol at a party. She’s had a sip of fizzy wine at her uncles wedding and hated it. I was drinking before 14 and although I don’t drink at all now for health reasons, my friends I was drinking with are all heavy drinkers in adult life. One her whole life revolves around drink and I’d say she’s a functioning alcoholic. So I’m glad this generation doesn’t seem to be following in our footsteps

My kids have all been allowed a small drink at Christmas or with a special meal since around 13-14. They were allowed to drink with friends ( supervised obviously) at around 15-16. All are now adults and 3 of the four dont drink at all and the one that does only drinks when out with friends.

There is actually no lower age limit for alcohol consumption in your own home. Personally, I was allowed to have a small drink at family parties from 12/13 and I let my dd age 12 do the same, usually a small bottle of wkd or some fruit cider mixed down with lemonade. Really don't see an issue with it behind closed doors , it stopped me going crazy on the street like some of my friends at the age of 14/15 because i was allowed to sit with family and have a drink with them instead

There is actually no lower age limit for alcohol consumption in your own home. Personally, I was allowed to have a small drink at family parties from 12/13 and I let my dd age 12 do the same, usually a small bottle of wkd or some fruit cider mixed down with lemonade. Really don't see an issue with it behind closed doors , it stopped me going crazy on the street like some of my friends at the age of 14/15 because i was allowed to sit with family and have a drink with them instead

I let DS have a can of cider last Christmas with the family meal. He was 14.5. He's had the odd cider or beer at special occasions since then but it's always supervised and with family. He's still not really acquired the taste for it so prefers the sweeter fruit ciders for now.

The rest of my family are fine with it - my parents let me and my DSis have mixed drinks and alcopops from around 13/14 in the same supervised way, but of course we both started drinking at parties from about 16 and both had THE night where we went completely OTT and blacked out at 18 but neither of us ever did it again and it was a learning experience. I will expect the same with DS in a few years, but feel that's a mistake most of us make at least once when we're young and finding out what our personal limits are.

All I can do is prepare him and teach him to be as safe and responsible as he can be. He is autistic so doesn't like feeling out of control and if he can get an idea of what his limit is in a safe environment with me so much the better!

Why are people encouraging their children to drink by normalizing it, are there not enough people with liver failures around? Should you not trach your children there are better ways to spend money?My parents never gave me any alcohol,i never have drank any alcohol (beside whats in cough syrup and as rarely as possible as it makes my stomach turn)and I am 35,i dont have any alcohol in the house and when i met my husband banned him drinking too he has been been making wiser decisions for over a decade.

If they asked , around 15/16 I allowed a light drink with a meal in a pub or on holiday, so quite rarely. He was used to seeing me drink with a meal and wanted to see what it felt like. Once at 6th form, Summer baby so just turned 16, there were parties and I gave warnings not to drink spirits which I think he followed being a fairly careful child.

I’m in the States where it’s age 21 now. When I was 18 though it was legal, then right after I turned 18 they changed it to 19 though I was grandfathered in. We have one ds who started university at 18 so I had no illusions of him not drinking there. We tried not to make it a big deal, and just told him if he was going to drink, then drink responsibly. He’s had the odd sip of my wine, doesn’t like beer and thinks hard liquor is ghastly. I don’t discourage or encourage really. I do remind him we have alcoholism on both sides of the family.

I was raised by DF, my sister by DM.

I was allowed the occasional drink from the age of 12 - but in an ad hoc basis rather than Christmas and birthdays etc.

my sister was barred until 18.

One of us is a major party girl/borderline alcoholic and one is a very occasional drinker.

I'll let you work out which is which.

14 - odd glass with a nice dinner

Some people (like in my family) just don't really drink. Drinkers always seem to think everyone else drinks too, but statistically the number of non-drinkers is increasing.

DH and I don't drink and teen DC has shown no interest so far at all. Their friend ship group are all into sports and health, and get up early on weekends to go to races and competitions. The idea that most or all teens are out partying and drinking every weekend just isn't true. They are way smarter and healthier than I was at that age

Definitely not 10/11. More like 15/16 would be acceptable.

I keep saying ‘go on have a shandy’ to a disinterested 13 year old??? Why??

Mad. Try reading up about what alcohol does to the developing brains and liver of kids at 13/14. He's got lots of time yet!!

My mum used to let me and friends have a few drinks at home past age 16, as she said she’d prefer to know we were safe than drinking in a park / beach (I mean, we did that to). I’d do the same for my kids, better that moderate alcohol drinking introduced at home than it being some forbidden fruit