Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

We have a narrow washing machine in our small upstairs bathroom which means as soon as someone has had a bath or shower, they can put all their dirty clothes in the machine and it will be ready to hang up ( upstairs ceiling Sheila maid, no tumble drier )and dry overnight. We put a second spin on ( 12 mins).

Everyone was responsible for their own laundry from an early age as so easy to do!

Now we get asked, does anyone have any whites that need doing? 6 family members plus guest and it works a treat.

Larger downstairs washing machine now only gets used for animal bedding.

Game changer

When I lived with my siblings we had three "dirty" baskets, one for darks, one lights and one for towels and underwear, which we washed at 60°.
I hated, and still do, "sock puzzle" so my sister gifted me with these:

www.amazon.co.uk/sockstar%C2%AE-Original-Sock-Clip-Basic/dp/B002V3E3LG

This has saved me so much time. I clip the socks in, wash, hang up to dry, take clip off and fold.
Similar things are available, maybe this can help.

Just do a load every single day. Before you go to work maybe. All the previous day's clothes for the whole family - underwear, T-shirts, shirts etc - trousers and skirts and jumpers can be washed less frequently - and don't worry too much about colours vs whites unless you have something new and dark in the wash and also fresh and white (in which case hold said dark item back until you happen to have a darker wash). Ordinary and regularly washed clothes rarely run.

Hang it up or tumble dry it as soon as you or DP gets home. Putting away the dry ones from the day before is part of this task, or at least leave piles on beds for owners to put away (older children). One day's worth of clothes at a time really isn't a huge quantity.

Delicates / knitwear can be done at weekends perhaps, when you have time for a second wash. Ditto sheets and towels (or use a launderette service wash for these).

We do a load every single day so it never builds up. Everything gets put in the wash basket downstairs and I put it in the machine at the end of the day and switch it on the minute I get up and make my tea. By the time I’ve got myself sorted out and had a shower it’s done and takes 10 mins to hang up. I usually hang things on hangers over doorways and then when it’s dry it’s ready to hang straight up.

Can you do one small (30 min?) load first thing? Your DH can pop it on the airer then a large load when you get in?
I have to do two loads a day to keep on top of sports gear and uniform. There's just me and 2 teens. The iron has never been used and I line dry all year round.

Teacher here. This was me. The timetabling of specific day for a certain load was a game changer. After that, it sounds like it’s the clean socks and underwear that are your real problem (sorting and pairing) I put up a hook per person next to the dryer. Each hook has a bag (I have a different canvas tote each - the freebie ones you get at conference)
As the socks or underwear comes out of the dryer it goes into the relevant person’s bag- so it’s roughly ‘sorted’. Each person is responsible for sorting and putting away their own bag (great game for little ones. Treat it as a teaching starter for pairs!). Drawers for clean underwear and socks so they can be chucked in (doable even for little ones) Lone socks stay in the bag for next time. Have a sock hunt game in the holidays for the sock that has lost its friend 😃and chuck the odd ones then)

For my three daughters I always bought the same white socks just different sizes, which they had to sort out.

Wow, MN is certainly an eye opener, isn't it!

Who'd have thought that with all the mod cons around today someone can't get their act together on the laundry?

Our washing machine takes 50 mins on the fast quick was 40 C or 60C.

I do a wash about every other day.

Coloureds including socks, pants, jeans, T shirts, shirts, small kitchen towels.

White and delicates - my knickers, bras, etc.

White bathroom towels - 60C - weekly or 2 x a week.

White bedding - 60C (Bed change at weekends.)

I only work p/t now so try to choose a 'good drying day' for the big items like bedding and towels, to line dry.

If I put the machine on at 7.30am, it's all ready for the line or a clothes horse in the utility within the hour.

Stick it all in on a 30 degree wash (put trainers in a separate bag). 40 degrees if it's very mucky. Don't bother to sort. Only things to be careful of are very strong colours and yellow dusters - keep them separate.

Set it away.

I've had about three disasters over 47 years.

Put the wash on over night, keep buying several pairs af the same socks (no issue matching - OH's idea from when he was single)
When we first married we lived in his flat, he didn't have a washing machine, kitchen too small. He used to take the washing to the laundrette, put it on then do some shopping and go back to stick it in the drier. If he was busy he'd get a service wash where he left the stuff on his way to work and collected it on the way home.

pairing socks is the perfect job for your kids, they could even be tasked with allocating them right into the correct persons sock drawer

(jealous of your 60 pairs of pants though)

I've known a lot of head teachers but none that get home at 7pm.

Why are you working that late? Even including a commute it's very long day when schools finish at 3.30.

(I say this as a teacher!)

You could also get your cleaner to run a load or two through, if you don't mind them seeing your dirty clothes.

I think you might be best just taking it to a laundrette that does a service wash.

Holy fuck. I would never tire of slapping some of you lot.

One wash a day. I set it to go on a night on a delayed start. Put it in dryer first thing in the morning, collect when you get home.

For putting clothes away, I chuck it all on the bed. I have a thing about piles of clothes being on the floor in case our cat wees on them, so I'm forced to put it away.

I used to do it all on my two days off and was too stressful so little and often works better.

Wear clothes more than once if they're not obvioysly dirty.
Everybody wears black socks (DH and I have different sized feet but the same sized socks - obvs the kids socks will be smaller but could be the same size as each other?
If the kids are old enough they can pair their own socks and put their laundry away.
You and DH could sit down with a basket if socks and pair them while watching TV - romance isn't dead.......

It's taking up more in stress and headspace than the 15 minutes it would probably take to sort laundry and put it away. Just form the habit. Imagine how freeing.

The only way to keep on top of laundry is 5-10 minutes a day. Load on first thing. When you get in fold and put away the Load from the day before. Hang the new wet washing.

A friend with 4 boys gave up with socks, threw away all the old ones of various types and bought 40 pairs of white and 40 pairs of black and put two baskets on the top landing. No more sock pairing - ever.

throw away all the extra knickers and socks. They are only adding to the pile and your stress. They are not the solution.
Chuck all the laundry into bin bags and find a laundry place. Most dry cleaners do it, some places are more expensive than others but ours will wash, dry and fold.
Then throw anything unnecessary away before putting everything away, then the washing can’t build up to scary proportions again because there simply won’t be enough of it.
Make sure there is a plan in place for future laundry. One load in the morning, one load at night and put away dry stuff whilst the bath runs/someone cooks/someone reads bedtime story or something.

Washing per person can e easier as it makes putting away simpler.

If you like timetables each person gets a day and then if like us you have minimal whites, assign a separate day for that

I put mine on the night before with a timer to come on at 6am (it takes about an hour) so I can hang it before work.

The best thing I did was ditch the ironing basket (collection basket) whatever you choose to call it. I take it out in a big bag for life and just bring it in over my arm.

I don't iron anything. I give it a good shake going on line and use fabric softener.... and own few things that really need ironing. Those that do, like shirts for funerals, get hung up anyway and I can iron as I need them (when they festered in the bottom of the basket of doom they were so creased I ended up washing them again anyway).

When I bring in washing that is dry I chuck it over my bed. one so it doesn't crease and two so I am forced to deal with it that day. It's an easy place to sort and fold and then it's a five minute job that is done and dusted rather than growing up into a mountain

I'd have thought the OP needs to stay later than 3.30pm as she'd be DSL and can't just leave unless there's another DSL she can hand over to - especially if the school has an after school club which tend to finish at least 6.

You have a cleaner who’s too good to wash? Get another one.

At the very least the cleaner should be washing your bedding on turnaround day as well as ironing it.

Where I live in Ireland it has.rained heavily every day for the last month. No sign of letting up ( none of this weather hits the UK). Using the dryer is too expensive and some clothing can only be dried on radiators. The laundry just piles up, no way around it.

Take it to a laundrette where a nice lady will wash it, dry it and fold it once a week for you.
Everyone then puts Al ltheir own washing away when you get it back. Repeat.

Life changing and energy bills next to nothing.

Oh yeah this is us, there's 5 of us, the kids are 1, 4 and 6 and we both work ft. I wfh but my husband has to dress smartly for work so everyone has 2 outfits a day, the 1 year old obviously still quite messy. The mountain this creates is phenomenal. Doesn't help our kitchen only has enough space for a 5kg washing machine so I can't get much in each wash. Plans to move to a much bigger house where I can buy a 14kg washing machine (yes I've googled the biggest machine on the market) have been shat on by house prices and interest rates shooting up. So I'm stuck with my tiny washer. To add to my issues I've stopped using the dryer (apart from if it's raining and I'm washing towels or bedding) so it takes around 2-3 days to dry. We can technically afford the dryer but who the hell wants to spend all their money on the dryer!!!!? So it's even worse than ever, I used to do 1 or 2 loads a day and use the dryer but I'm now spending all weekend washing and pegging out (I start work at 7.30am and have to get myself and 3 children ready for 7.30, I really can't see me or my husband pegging washing out at 6am!). So yes impossible to ever find the bottom of the laundry basket or put everything away as the cycle never ends. I'd need a team of 10 people to keep on top of it all. Probably the only thing I envy kate middleton for, she has staff to do the laundry!

There are TWO adults in the house!

Many couples incl us do a lot of their own washing, or start a load and ask each other if there is anything to top it up.

DH does his stuff, if it's filling the wash basket. I prefer to manage a lot of mine, especially the delicates.

Why doesn't your H do his own stuff ?
Make him responsible.

As I said, I find it easier to work in loads of colours, or size of the items.

So all the small stuff that I can drape on the horse- socks and pants - go in.
Large, line-dry items go in another wash.

Basically, we used to have 2 laundry baskets- one for the kids (now left home) and one for us.

Honestly, if you run a school you can get your shit together on this surely?