Page 9 | To think not everything is ‘misogyny’

Pumperthepumper · 29/10/2022 22:10

meateatingveggie · 29/10/2022 22:00

The amount of misandry that is on mn and is thought to be perfectly fine is equally as astonishing to me.

Misandry doesn’t exist in any real sense though so don’t worry about it.

bringincrazyback · 29/10/2022 22:10

I honestly feel embarrassed that I’m again being forced to ask ‘why, though?’ What difference does it make - there’s either a wanted termination or an unwanted kid. Which would you chose for the careless couple?

Obviously, the wanted termination is the lesser of the two evils. It makes a difference to me what the circumstances are, though, for reasons I've already explained. For you it doesn't. Let's agree to differ.

Pumperthepumper · 29/10/2022 22:11

bringincrazyback · 29/10/2022 22:10

I honestly feel embarrassed that I’m again being forced to ask ‘why, though?’ What difference does it make - there’s either a wanted termination or an unwanted kid. Which would you chose for the careless couple?

Obviously, the wanted termination is the lesser of the two evils. It makes a difference to me what the circumstances are, though, for reasons I've already explained. For you it doesn't. Let's agree to differ.

Fine, but women should be entitled to abortions regardless. Because the alternative is an unwanted kid who then suffers that consequence.

Funkyblues101 · 29/10/2022 22:13

Don't get me started on the overuse of the word "empathy".

bringincrazyback · 29/10/2022 22:16

But in that scenario, an abortion is still potentially the most responsible course of action. In an ideal world everyone would make good choices all the time but we don't live in an ideal world. In the event that two people have made a mistake and failed to sort contraception but they don't want/can't care for a child then abortion is the responsible thing to do.

Which is why I'm not suggesting abortion shouldn't be available for mistakes. Merely stating that imho it's irresponsible to just not bother using anything because 'there's always abortion.' I'd have thought that was a no-brainer.

This thread is a real eye-opener.

Pumperthepumper · 29/10/2022 22:30

bringincrazyback · 29/10/2022 22:16

But in that scenario, an abortion is still potentially the most responsible course of action. In an ideal world everyone would make good choices all the time but we don't live in an ideal world. In the event that two people have made a mistake and failed to sort contraception but they don't want/can't care for a child then abortion is the responsible thing to do.

Which is why I'm not suggesting abortion shouldn't be available for mistakes. Merely stating that imho it's irresponsible to just not bother using anything because 'there's always abortion.' I'd have thought that was a no-brainer.

This thread is a real eye-opener.

I don’t think many people do that though, because as a PP pointed out, that’s massively more risky than basic, free contraception. But even if they do, it’s the woman who deals with the consequence of it regardless.

ilovemyspace · 29/10/2022 22:40

Because that would mean men taking responsibility
- if I'm going to take part in something that is going to affect my health/ my life, then I will take responsibility for taking the precautions necessary to safeguard myself. I ain't going to rely on anybody else to take it as seriously as I do ! - that is the difference - why would I rely on a man to make sure I don't get pregnant? ' I will be the only person I trust with that decision.

I'm with you OP. The term mysogony is sometimes blindly applied

ilovemyspace · 29/10/2022 22:42

Which is why I'm not suggesting abortion shouldn't be available for mistakes. Merely stating that imho it's irresponsible to just not bother using anything because 'there's always abortion.' I'd have thought that was a no-brainer.

Totally agree

ilovemyspace · 29/10/2022 22:53

but women should be entitled to abortions regardless.

statements like this just encourage mindless sex and unwanted consequences, Abortion has an emotional impact and is not just a physical method of contraception. Maybe women should start thinking about consequences on their bodies and emotional well-being and not rely on other people to give them the same precedence? -- and I'm not saying that women should be solely responsible for contraception. But if man isn't bothered and I am, then I'm going to take measures to protect myself - obviously an unpopular view these days ...

ilovemyspace · 29/10/2022 22:54

don't know why that's come up in big text!!

xPeaceX · 29/10/2022 23:00

Who uses abortion as contraception, that'd be a very low percentage of people.

It's a stupid thing to accuse women of. Abortion should always be available.

Timetochangetheoil · 29/10/2022 23:03

neverbeenskiing · 29/10/2022 19:47

This thread is fucking pathetic.

Two women a week are killed by their current or former partner in this country and the services that help victims of DV have been systematically starved of funds for over a decade. Sexual harassment of women and girls is rife in our schools and universities. Young men are being radicalised by the Incel movement. Women are routinely dismissed, disbelieved or accused of having Mental Health issues when they report chronic pain and it takes years, sometimes decades, for conditions like Endometriosis to be diagnosed. We are told that if a Police Officer tries to arrest us we should "flag down a bus" so we don't get raped and murdered.

But here we are bickering amongst ourselves about the definitions of sexism and misogyny and "which is better".

We live in a patriarchal society. Misogyny is the hatred of women, and sexism is systemic discrimination against women. If you cannot see that one drives and perpetuates the other then that's because you don't want to see it and nothing anyone says on this thread will change your mind.

And for what it's worth OP, no I'm not tired of seeing the word misogyny on here. I'm tired of seeing actual misogyny and sexism in action IRL, in our media, in our institutions and what it does to the children and vulnerable communities I work with. Sometimes I envy those who seem blind to it, because it's exhausting.

Well bloody said.

PS you should try skiing, it’s fun :)

moksorineouimoksori · 30/10/2022 00:27

The word misogyny should be used more! As long as even a single woman is put through unimaginable pain by the actions of men I will use the word misogyny daily and hopefully in every conversation! Overusing it is infinitely better than the shame of ignoring and turning "blind eyes" to it that kept women living without personal autonomy throughout thousands of years of our history. If I must repeat misogyny in every sentence until the awareness of it pervades the general consciousness, then I will.

VerinMathwin · 30/10/2022 00:50

moksorineouimoksori · 30/10/2022 00:27

The word misogyny should be used more! As long as even a single woman is put through unimaginable pain by the actions of men I will use the word misogyny daily and hopefully in every conversation! Overusing it is infinitely better than the shame of ignoring and turning "blind eyes" to it that kept women living without personal autonomy throughout thousands of years of our history. If I must repeat misogyny in every sentence until the awareness of it pervades the general consciousness, then I will.

Go ahead. Then it becomes like using nazi to describe a traffic warden. It completely devalues the word over time and undermines the point you are trying to make.

NicolaSixSix · 30/10/2022 01:09

ghostyslovesheets · 29/10/2022 16:44

so what - 200,000 women made a choice about their pregnancy and decided to end it. Not sure what the issue is - it's a legal, medical procedure?

Do apply the same scrutiny to things like heart bypass surgery, diabetes rates or broken legs?

⬆️ 👏

CJsGoldfish · 30/10/2022 01:22

This thread is proving my point!

It really isn't.
I'm cringing with second hand embarrassment for you OP

ldontWanna · 30/10/2022 01:44

Of course it isn't. It's all sunshine ,unicorns and rainbows. In the meantime, in the real world a bloke can get out of a rape charge with "I tripped and fell", "I walked into the wrong room" and "I was sleepwalking " bullshit.But yeah sure, nothing to see here.

SandyY2K · 30/10/2022 01:44

I totally agree with you. It's quite annoying actually.

It's as overused as gaslighting and narcissist.

Someone tells a lie and suddenly it's gaslighting. Absolutely nonsensical.

moksorineouimoksori · 30/10/2022 03:51

VerinMathwin - I respectfully disagree!

MadelineUsher · 30/10/2022 06:00

I’m getting quite tired of it if I’m honest, it feels like every other conversation the ‘misogyny’ card is whipped out and anyone who disagrees has ‘internalised misogyny’ (um no I just have a different opinion)

I've read all your posts on this thread. Hate to break it to you, but you do have a bad case of internalised misogyny. The contempt with which you speak about women...

onlythreenow · 30/10/2022 06:23

Sadly some of you haven’t led a “normal life” and refuse to believe misogyny doesn’t exist everywhere and believe all men are abusive monsters.

Well said.

I agree with you OP, and misogyny is a word I don't hear very often in real life, but on MN it pops up all the time. It seems that some posters' mission is to post on any thread about a man to tell us about "misogyny", and yes, it does make them look - and sound - like children looking for someone (i.e. a man) to blame for all the ills of the world. It's very tiresome, not to mention boring.

LolaSmiles · 30/10/2022 06:57

Of course it isn't. It's all sunshine ,unicorns and rainbows. In the meantime, in the real world a bloke can get out of a rape charge with "I tripped and fell", "I walked into the wrong room" and "I was sleepwalking " bullshit.But yeah sure, nothing to see here
Definitely nothing to see. Just a bunch of silly women getting hysterical and using long words they don't understand. What are we doing getting ideas above our station.

Some posters on this thread could do with reading Invisible Women or Everyday Sexism.

You know patriarchy has done a number on us when women are basically arguing that women's sex based oppression is exaggerated and they're childish by looking to blame men for their problems.

lifeturnsonadime · 30/10/2022 08:40

You know patriarchy has done a number on us when women are basically arguing that women's sex based oppression is exaggerated and they're childish by looking to blame men for their problems.

Agree.

yubgummy · 30/10/2022 09:17

It's possible to believe that there are some areas where women genuinely experience sex-based oppression, and that we should work to remove any institutional encoding of such oppression...

...but also that there are many areas where women do have agency over our lives and decisions, that women are full humans capable of doing great things sometimes and stupid things at other times, that women are grown adults who can take responsibility for our actions, and that women are individuals who can look at the same situation and thoughtfully come to different conclusions.

Yes, I think the response to any suggestion that women have agency and can take responsibility for our actions is sometimes "hysterical" - there's me using my agency to use the full range of the English language, someone will be along shortly to tell me to restrain myself ;)

Original poster

Cuppasoupmonster · 30/10/2022 09:17

So it’s impossible for any woman to hold a differing view to you without it being ‘internalised misogyny’ or the fault of the patriarchy? We should be a hive mind that agree on everything?

OP posts: