To think not everything is ‘misogyny’

[Cuppasoupmonster]

… and that the word is massively overused on here?

I’m getting quite tired of it if I’m honest, it feels like every other conversation the ‘misogyny’ card is whipped out and anyone who disagrees has ‘internalised misogyny’ (um no I just have a different opinion).

It’s becoming the ‘BeKind’ of feminism. Overused to the point it’s getting meaningless and irritating, and just used to ‘win’ any kind of nuanced topic without any proper discussion.

AIBU? 🤷🏼‍♀️

You asked which MPs are a risk to womens rights re abortion.

Someone named some of those MPs and you said it wasn't very many of them.

So I shared a list of 99 of them and you said "But I live in England! Everything looks shocking if you use examples from other jurisdictions."

I reiterated that while the law was one affecting women in NI, it was voted on by MPs across the UK. I reshared the list of the 99 MPs with their constituencies included, as many are English, to show how the risk of MPs to women's rights is present in England too.

You then didn't respond to me.

In a weird coincidence, an English MP who voted against decriminalising abortion in NI, adding buffer zones around abortion clinics and campaigned for reducing the current abortion time thresholds. I shared that with you.

You didn't respond to that either.

But these are English MPs. This is your jurisdiction!

But I don’t understand what that has to do with my point that not EVERYTHING is misogyny? All you’re doing at this point is using technicalities and extrapolations to make me look like a misogynist (or should that be an internalised misogynist 🙄)

Very well said 👏

So what do you think is not misogyny?

It's so disingenuous to ask people for examples of MPs against something, say the list provided isn't long enough to matter, be given the full list of people, say but they aren't in England, be told many of them aren't are in England and then ignore that information and say it's not relevant to the discussion...

It’s a meaningless term, why would you want it used more?

I doubt male victims of female violence would agree it's a meaningless term.

I don’t think highlighting that women have the balance of power and therefore responsibility over birth control and pregnancy choices is misogynistic.

I don’t think acknowledging the fact women are physically weaker than men is misogynistic.

I don’t think pointing out women and men have different tendencies in behaviour for biological reasons is misogynistic.

I don’t think any negative interaction between
a man and woman is inherently misogynistic unless there is a reason to believe it is, but you wouldn’t think that from reading threads on here.

Why wouldn’t they?

You said birth control was an equal choice though.

Has anyone said that women being physically weaker is misogynistic?

What kind of behavioural tendencies?

Again, I doubt anyone has said (and not just on here but literally ever, in the history of the universe) that any negative interaction is misogynistic. That’s something you’ve invented in your head and then used it as leverage to climb on your high horse.

It’s also cowardice.

If I was cowardly would I be asking this on AIBU without flouncing

I genuinely think it’s better manners to flounce than to just ignore posters. Particularly posters like @monsteramunch who has provided such an education for you, for free.

I'm interested in the 'behavioural tendencies' mentioned by OP.

I’m not ignoring it, I’ll do a proper reply later, it was a lot of info and I’m dipping in and out of making dinner.

Behavioural tendencies - men tend to be more aggressive, logical in their thinking and less emotive. Women tend to be more emotive in their thinking, less aggressive and more nurturing. That sort of thing.

Have you got evidence for that? Or is it just something you believe to be true?

Has anyone said that women being physically weaker is misogynistic?
I don't think so, which makes sense as a lot of feminists highlight the biological difference between the sexes as being an important consideration when exploring patriarchy and the importance of single sex spaces.

Another straw man 🤷‍♀️

There’s loads of evidence, just search for studies on behavioural differences between men and women.

Yep. I mean I could direct you to threads where this has been said but I would prefer it if you would do that yourself.

@Cuppasoupmonster there's a lot of interesting research on the differences between the male and female brain... and how those are mostly a myth. Google is your friend here.

No, not the brain structure. Personality differences, how many and women score in various measures of personality etc.

Yep. I mean I could direct you to threads where this has been said but I would prefer it if you would do that yourself
I see, so it's the job of everyone on this thread to provide you with facts about UK politics, which you dismiss as not being much of an issue, but when you set up a straw man everyone should trawl Mumsnet to find some comments somewhere where some posters might have said something to that effect.

Even though the biological differences between the sexes is a fundamental part of feminism and why most feminists value the importance of same sex spaces.

Ok...

No, I’m asking what evidence you’ve seen.

But those are due to how we socialise our children when we bring them up. We're raising boys badly. Hence the patriarchy, incels, discrimination in the workplace. The list is endless.

Personality differences, how many and women score in various measures of personality etc.
The old chestnut that women are naturally emotional.

And interestingly, the sort of misogynistic view that harms men and women because whilst women are viewed as hysterical and emotional and lacking the logic and rationality of men, men end up being socialised not to share their feelings and emotions because it's considered weak. Why is it considered weak for men to share their feelings openly? Because society still teaches them that it's a womanly thing to do, and that's viewed negatively.

Suicide is the second biggest cause of death in young men. Society would be a lot better if we spend time challenging the idea that sharing emotions is a weak and womanly thing to do.