Are you 'fatphobic'

[lawofmotion]

According to this definition it seems I am.

Aibu to think that actually that's completely reasonable?

Teen Vogue writer Catherine Mhloyi said: "In having the word 'fat' appear on the scale, she made a choice to explicitly name her demon, the fear of being called fat, which is fatphobia in its most literal sense."

news.sky.com/story/taylor-swift-video-for-anti-hero-edited-to-remove-the-word-fat-12731618

Two things stand out here to me.

1. Obesity is socially unacceptable, yet still on the rise, clearly shaming people isn't working, is it? You've only got to read comments on threads like this to realise it's socially unacceptable, the fact that people actively avoid gaining weight in order to avoid the stigma involved with being overweight.

2. I agree that 'moving more and eating less' is the basis of a weight that is optimal for good health, however we never seem to look at the other - societal - pressures that make that harder than the simple solution it needs to be. So many people with jobs that require you to sit at a desk for 8 hours, that drain you mentally but not physically, shift work that means people eat at times that aren't the best, reaching for what fills them quickly in the 20 minutes they get to eat, and after work before they move on to the next set of stuff that needs doing, demands of modern life that mean weight is a lower priority than keeping the bills paid and life running. During lockdown when I had relatively little to do except look after myself, I lost weight and got much fitter, life going back to 'normal' and I've put weight on again - and yes, that's my 'choice' but one driven through needing to prioritise and my weight being lower down the list than for some people.

Who cares what someone else thinks when they look at you?

Most people do.

This is the reason why we might comb our hair in the morning and put clean clothes on when leaving the house etc.

If you had a huge ketchup stain on your blouse, would you still go to work in it or quickly change before leaving the house?

I confused myself in the end 😂

A phobia is an irrational fear. I am not scared of fat people. But I don't think it's irrational to dislike rolls of flesh.

A phobia can also include feelings of revulsion and disgust. That is what, for example, emetophobia is.

@CheezePleeze that's actually given me food for thought. In your example of the food stain yes, I'd change if I could, but if I couldn't (already on train or something) I'd style it out quite happily.

So for a base level of clean and tidy, sure - but beyond that I couldn't give a monkeys if people think I'm fat / loud / dress like a toddler / don't have any fashion sense / don't hide my squidgy bits like I "should" / plus all the other things I know people say. I don't exist to look nice for other people, and the pressure to look a certain way (whether weight related or not) feels like a way to keep women worrying about their own appearance and not using that headspace on other things.

I agree that 'moving more and eating less' is the basis of a weight that is optimal for good health, however we never seem to look at the other - societal - pressures that make that harder than the simple solution it needs to be. So many people with jobs that require you to sit at a desk for 8 hours, that drain you mentally but not physically, shift work that means people eat at times that aren't the best, reaching for what fills them quickly in the 20 minutes they get to eat, and after work before they move on to the next set of stuff that needs doing, demands of modern life that mean weight is a lower priority than keeping the bills paid and life running. During lockdown when I had relatively little to do except look after myself, I lost weight and got much fitter, life going back to 'normal' and I've put weight on again - and yes, that's my 'choice' but one driven through needing to prioritise and my weight being lower down the list than for some people.

@Maverickess those things are always looked at it would seem.

But many people are still eating more calories than they're burning off. So looking at it is all well and good but obviously people need to take action for themselves if they want to lose weight.

But the fact is many of us eat too much food, regardless of lots of other factors and until we stop, we'll remain overweight.

I totally get your point about how certain jobs might make it more difficult to maintain a relatively healthy and active lifestyle. But what can we do as a society? We can’t just get rid of shift work or desk jobs.
I think in the end of the day it’s still down to personal responsibility to try and integrate at least some form of exercise and reasonably healthy food in one’s everyday life.

I think in the end of the day it’s still down to personal responsibility to try and integrate at least some form of exercise and reasonably healthy food in one’s everyday life.

It absolutely is, otherwise nothing will ever change.

Besides, office jobs and shift work have always existed, since long before UK obesity hit 63.9%.

I think in the end of the day it’s still down to personal responsibility to try and integrate at least some form of exercise and reasonably healthy food in one’s everyday life.

I agree. Took a while for me to go through 7 tages of "I am sure, it's not me it must be..." until it clicked that it was indeed me and I started doing what needed to be done😂 Dummy.

With that said though, the discussion now did slip away from the original topic of "is it ok to silence people talking about their experiences and issues because you take it too personally and think your issues are bigger than theirs"

No pun intended

Wow... 63%

I don't agree with making normalising obesity. It's just not healthy.

And manual jobs are in decline, because of automation, I'm not saying it's all because of the lifestyle choices that feel less like choices and more like necessity, but that it does have a bearing on how much more you can move and how easy accessing the healthier food is. And how much more important other things in your life are above focussing on maintaining a healthy weight.
For example I worked permanent nights, as a single parent on a low income - staying awake and alert to be able to do my job and keeping all the plates spinning and the bills paid took priority over everything else, my diet was appalling, I ate easy, cheap and unhealthy foods and I was frankly too exhausted to pay more attention to it than the fact I had to eat something, and night work messes with every system in your body which doesn't help. Now I work days and DD is older I've lost weight because I am less exhausted, have more time to put into some thought around my health and weight, I'm still overweight, but I'm healthier and happier for losing some and it wasn't a concerted effort, it was because the pressures in life got easier with time.

And if obesity is at 63.9% it's quite clear that deriding and shaming people and just telling them to move more and eat less really doesn't work because that's been going on for years and years, yet obesity has and continues to rise.

*With that said though, the discussion now did slip away from the original topic of "is it ok to silence people talking about their experiences and issues because you take it too personally and think your issues are bigger than theirs" exactly @Applesandcarrots on on earth are we living in a time that's overrun by the "how dare you have feelings/opinions about yourself, you must centre me at all times and think about me!

Teen Vogue writer Catherine Mhloyi said: "In having the word 'fat' appear on the scale, she made a choice to explicitly name her demon, the fear of being called fat, which is fatphobia in its most literal sense."

I googled the name Catherine Mhloyi and first hit was for someone whose Insta handle is fatangryblackgirl. Second hit on Google suggests this is the same person. Maybe she should take her own advice?

I am fat (Size 16) but more annoyed by my shape (Apple)

I would love to be Hourglass; keep my boobs, round out the sides of my bum so it looks good from the back not all boxy like now and flatten my belly into dipped in smallness.

Losing weight won't give me the body I want

The thing which would worry me is she wrotes for teens, eill be read mainly by girls I assume, and she is essentially saying that if your mh or situation gives you certain thoughts, you shouldn't discuss them.
It's kind of be kind on steroids here.
Iyswim

It also make sme wonder about situations such as group therapy actually/talks

And if obesity is at 63.9% it's quite clear that deriding and shaming people and just telling them to move more and eat less really doesn't work because that's been going on for years and years, yet obesity has and continues to rise.

Well I expect that's because people aren't moving more and eating less.

And all the ifs, buts and maybes won't change that until people start doing it.

Shaming people, not shaming people, body positive movements, therapy, understanding of socio-economics etc etc aren't working either and nor will they until people start eating less and moving more.

Ah but other people can't be blamed then @CheezePleeze so many people deride the 'eat less move more' advice as shaming/mean/unkind. I just don't get it, it's simple reality!

It's only shaming if it isn't in £20 a pop book with fancy cover name claiming it's totally different method (but in reality it is eat les, move more)...

Well because it’s absolutely patronising. It’s not like it’s astonishing news to anyone. Fat people know they’re fat. They know what they theoretically need to do in order to be less fat. There might be any number of reasons why this is difficult for them. “Well-meaning” and bloody obvious advice like this - which is never fucking well meaning - is actually enraging.

The truth is often enraging but it's still the truth. No point in getting angry because people are speaking it.

Better to make peace with the fact you're never going to lose weight and just carry on with what you're doing/not doing.

It's not mean, fat shaming or deriding people to say that, yes it's a simple fact.

Refusing to take the factors into consideration that affect the move more/eat less (and less is not necessarily true, better would be more appropriate) to haughtily dismiss them as excuses, and to say it with scorn and a self righteous attitude, over and over again, well that's just pulling people down for the sake of it really, because you don't like their appearance and what you believe that makes them as a person.

Kinda shallow, but each to their own.

It’s not the truth that’s enraging. It’s the holier-than-thou proponents of it, under the guise of “just caring about peoples health!” which is utter bollocks, because with those types it’s never care, it’s always perceived superiority and smugness.

In my experience, women (in the UK at least, generally speaking and I include myself here) are borderline obsessed with weight.