Are you 'fatphobic'

[lawofmotion]

According to this definition it seems I am.

Aibu to think that actually that's completely reasonable?

Teen Vogue writer Catherine Mhloyi said: "In having the word 'fat' appear on the scale, she made a choice to explicitly name her demon, the fear of being called fat, which is fatphobia in its most literal sense."

news.sky.com/story/taylor-swift-video-for-anti-hero-edited-to-remove-the-word-fat-12731618

@crumpetswithjam

Fuck @SwordToFlamethrower. Who cares what she thinks??

@RealBecca

I'm not sure how that is relevant to what the other pp said but ok

@Theydoyaknow

You really care that much what others think of you?

Probably should work on that

@VyeBrator

Weight can be a personal thing, obviously. But it is also an objective thing.

Being overweight is a clinical measurement.

Moaning about being fat when you're not just makes you look like a dick.

Having suffered bulimia in the past I do despise the negative unhealthy messages as I know how destructive they can be.

Body positivity should be about feeling good about our body but that's not always the message given. Sometimes the messages are mixed and creating really negative food associations and unhealthy mind states.

I guess I probably am. I would hate to be fat and eat healthily and work out to stop myself getting fat. I'm not attracted to fat people

And what about fat people who want to see what clothes look like on bodies like theirs? Because that’s the actual point of clothing ads.

I don’t think Taylor Swift was at all fatphobic, I don’t think the PP who fears becoming fat is fatphobic, but there are certainly a fair few posters on this thread who are clearly showing what is.

Moaning about being fat when you're not just makes you look like a dick.

That's not what was being discussed.

Telling someone who is overweight at a size 12 for example, that they're not overweight and calling them a dick etc because you're more overweight then them is complete dickish behaviour.

You see it on MN a lot. Some people refuse to believe that anyone can be overweight at a size 10 or 12, and they try to silence or dismiss their feelings because they're not as overweight as they are.

It's ridiculous projection. People are 'allowed' to be concerned about their own weight.

A phobia is an irrational fear. I am not scared of fat people. But I don't think it's irrational to dislike rolls of flesh. Interestingly there is an article in the Times today saying that we could do a lot to "protect" the NHS if we made obesity as socially unacceptable as smoking or drink driving. Maybe a bit extreme, but I see the author's point.

In most cases it is a choice (not all, the late Hilary Mantel being a case in point, she was a size 8 before she had to take medication for her endometriosis, I can't even begin to imagine what she went through).

Also I dislike the diet industry - mainly just snake oil. If people moved more and ate less, they would have far fewer customers and would have to find a more ethical way to make a living.

This thread and the article are both incredibly sad.

My mother is very ‘fat phobic’ (or to give it it’s proper name ‘judgemental cow’) and it definitely contributed to my own body image and disordered eating when I was younger. Even as an adult she feels that she can comment on my figure (I am not overweight but also no longer underweight).

@VyeBrator

That was what was being discussed.

I agree with this.
I wouldn’t judge anyone based on their weight, but I‘ve been overweight myself in the past and I wouldn’t want to go back to that.
I didn’t like the way I looked, didn’t like the way I felt. And no, it’s not „internalised fatphobia“ as some people call it.

I agree. Underweight or overweight/obese should not become the norm. I would hate to be fat myself, If I was I'd look at myself with disgust. I also would never date someone overweight, fat just is not attractive to me.

No, not intentional at all. Can you clarify or explain further

No it wasn't.

My reply was to the following. I even quoted it at the time....

Why cant I talk about wanting to lose a few pounds at size 12 without it upsetting you? Me losing or gaining weight makes no difference to you. Why does how I feel about my body need to be censored? Is there anything else I shouldn't talk about? Food generally?

And yet for some people it's the first time they've ever seen themselves represented in the clothes they buy.

If you're fat you do, believe it or not, still need to wear clothes and go out in public and look nice and, you know, exist. Whether or not someone is attempting to lose weight, it's not an overnight thing.

Representation is really important - though I gather some people would prefer that anyone fat, wearing glasses, disabled, missing a limb, bald or similar would just not inconvenience everyone else by actually leaving their house and having a life and being visible.

If you happen to be in one of those categories, I am in a couple of them - it is an incredible feeling when you see someone modelling clothes you would wear, who actually looks a bit like you.

Phobia: an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something
No wanting to be called fat because of health concerns / self esteem / society’s treatment of overweight people is not irrational nor extreme.

Again woke people trying to censor the use of words by ignoring valid concerns (health!). This sounds similar to the trans debate in this aspect.

The size 12 comment was mine and I think things are getting mixed up. What was it about my comment you wanted to discuss with me?

The size 12 comment was mine and I think things are getting mixed up. What was it about my comment you wanted to discuss with me?

Now I'm really confused. All I did was agree with your post (you'll need to scroll back to find it) 😂

Then read Topgub's reply.

@hilariousnamehere Yes but I am 5.1 and 15 stone 2 so clinically obese and I still think they look awful.

I appreciate that others may feel different but that is them not me.

I know I am fat and know that clothes look better when you are slimmer, so for me seeing models that are obese like me just makes me feel more depressed and obviously fat phobic, but at least I apply that to myself too.

I'm allowed that opinion that time I checked.

last not that.

Exactly this. I don’t think it’s other people’s place to say what I can or can’t say about my preferences for my own body and life.

Is it specifically the word ‘fat’ itself? Does it make it any better if I say that I don’t want to be overweight? Or I don’t want a high BMI?
How is me saying that a reflection on anyone else? Some people don’t care about or are comfortable being overweight. Genuinely: good for them. But I don’t want that for myself 🤷🏼‍♀️

How is it making her a judgmental arsehole? She‘s just talking about her own body and how she fears being judged. That’s absolutely legitimate.

Yes, of course you're allowed your opinion. And to feel however you want about anything.

I just find it so sad that as a society we're conditioned to think that clothes can only look good when someone is slim. And I think we waste so much of our precious lives feeling bad about being fat / being perceived as fat / worrying about being fat / worrying about people thinking we're fat, as also evidenced by pp.

Who cares what someone else thinks when they look at you? But I've been saying this since I was a teenager and am usually met with some response of "but you must want to look nice" as though looking nice is impossible in my existing body. I'm fat too and wear very thick glasses, have done since I was small. So I've given up listening to other people and dress for me and I feel good - and just wish more women could do the same for themselves.

Perfect! Thank you, I missed your 'dickish behaviour/silencing" post so that makes total sense! Still a bit sleepy today!

Who said it was fine what that other poster said about watching others eat? I haven’t seen a single post agreeing with them (and rightly so).

But this is actual fat phobia. And like any other phobia it may not seem rational but is very real.