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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to cut my boys hair?

127 replies

Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 15:52

14 month old little boy - his hair is gorgeous! (I know I'm biased) it's a little wild yes, but that's kinda what I love. It doesn't bother him in anyway (not in his eyes etc)

But my god everyone won't stfu making comments that he should have it cut now because people might mistake him for a girl 😒

He still obviously has quite fine 'baby' hair & getting him to sit still long enough would be mission impossible anyway.
His dad wants it cut too & I just don't want to. Neither of us trumps the other in terms of reasons or rights of course.
He wants it cut because he does, I don't want it cut because I don't basically.

We both are basically unreasonable aren't we? 🤣

Also, if any of you lovely lot have some great comebacks when others bring it up please do share! I've seen some of the most brilliant witty responses on other threads!

OP posts:
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6
Thedogscollar · 28/10/2022 16:32

Hi OP I'm the grandma to a beautiful 14 month old with the most beautiful curly hair. I'm secretly hoping his Mum n Dad don't cut his hair as I love that curly wild look on baby's.
Not my baby but I can secretly hope. They love it too so hopefully my little mop of curls will stay put for a bit longer.

Northernparent68 · 28/10/2022 16:57

Can you and his father compromise on length-cut off a certain amount

Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:07

Thedogscollar · 28/10/2022 16:32

Hi OP I'm the grandma to a beautiful 14 month old with the most beautiful curly hair. I'm secretly hoping his Mum n Dad don't cut his hair as I love that curly wild look on baby's.
Not my baby but I can secretly hope. They love it too so hopefully my little mop of curls will stay put for a bit longer.

Ah lovely! Will be hoping with you they don't lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:09

Northernparent68 · 28/10/2022 16:57

Can you and his father compromise on length-cut off a certain amount

Yes, of course rationally we could but it's not even that long yet 🙈
I'll see if I can edit a pic so my sons face isn't in it & upload it.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 28/10/2022 17:12

I mistook a little boy with long hair for a girl today - it was gorgeous hair. The mum said it was always happening! If you are ok with that and he is, there is no problem.

Cinders88 · 28/10/2022 17:14

Oh, OP .. I know exactly how you feel! My 12 month old has gorgeous light blond curls, and I don’t want them cut .. EVER! However, the thicker, curly hair is at the back, and the top hasn’t quite caught up .. it’s still short, fine and straight. So, I guess the back will need trimming soon to avoid an awkward mullet situation lol. Not looking forward to it though!!

olivehater · 28/10/2022 17:15

My 4 year olds is still long. It will prob get cut short in another year or two just like we did with his older brother, when he started asking for it cut. Until then enjoy it. When else in their life can a boy have long wild curls!

Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:16

StoneofDestiny · 28/10/2022 17:12

I mistook a little boy with long hair for a girl today - it was gorgeous hair. The mum said it was always happening! If you are ok with that and he is, there is no problem.

No I don't mind, his name could be for a boy or girl (though they would be spelt differently) so I'm very used to it! Lol
Even the doctors had him down as miss not master when we registered 🤣
He's not old enough to communicate anything more than mumma & dadda at the moment but if/when he does & he wants it cut I'll certainly do it. Or before if I think its irrating him.

OP posts:
Kindofcrunchy · 28/10/2022 17:16

Our little boy is almost three and we've never cut his hair :) he has beautiful blonde ringlets, we all have curly thick hair in our family. When it's wet it's almost all the way down his back. It's manageable at the moment and he's never asked for it cut, but when he asks for it we'll cut it. Maybe he never will! It would break my heart to cut his ringlets off!

I do worry about headlice etc when he starts school, but my parents didn't cut my hair til i was 11 and I've managed to avoid nits all my life (touch wood!)

Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:17

Here's my boy

To not want to cut my boys hair?
OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 28/10/2022 17:17

My boys have waist length hair they don't want it cut its bloody gorgeous

Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:18

Kindofcrunchy · 28/10/2022 17:16

Our little boy is almost three and we've never cut his hair :) he has beautiful blonde ringlets, we all have curly thick hair in our family. When it's wet it's almost all the way down his back. It's manageable at the moment and he's never asked for it cut, but when he asks for it we'll cut it. Maybe he never will! It would break my heart to cut his ringlets off!

I do worry about headlice etc when he starts school, but my parents didn't cut my hair til i was 11 and I've managed to avoid nits all my life (touch wood!)

Oh how lovely!
My boy is just starting to get little ringlets & they are the most adorable thing ever.

OP posts:
RambamThankyouMam · 28/10/2022 17:19

Don't cut it if you don't want to!

I'm Jewish and we traditionally don't cut boys' hair until they're 3.

Violettaa · 28/10/2022 17:20

I’m all for long hair on toddlers - DDs is the wild curls variety - but that does look like it’s in his eyes.

Could you compromise on a fringe?

WallaceinAnderland · 28/10/2022 17:20

Also, if any of you lovely lot have some great comebacks when others bring it up please do share! I've seen some of the most brilliant witty responses on other threads!

Not brilliant or witty but the default position is that you don't interfere with the child's appearance unless you need to. So the onus is on the person who wants it cut to give a good reason why.

Dancingwithumberellas · 28/10/2022 17:25

Don’t cut it if you don’t want to. I buckled to the pressure of others to cut my DS hair before I was ready, I could have cried afterwards. I still resent the person who pushed me the most to get it cut, and it’s years later!

SkylightSkylight · 28/10/2022 17:31

@Manchestermummax3 he has gorgeous eyes.

If you fancy a holiday with DH I could come & play and cuddle him for a week!

I'd be threatening the loss of dangly bits if DH so much as looked sideways at a hairdressers! no way would it be getting cut!

Olsi109 · 28/10/2022 17:32

My little girl 12 months has similar hair to your son - gets called a boy when I put her in neutral clothes and don't put a clip in it so we can't win can we?! Keep your boys lovely hair, let it grow to however you both like and tell anyone that makes a comment to mind their own!

Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:51

WallaceinAnderland · 28/10/2022 17:20

Also, if any of you lovely lot have some great comebacks when others bring it up please do share! I've seen some of the most brilliant witty responses on other threads!

Not brilliant or witty but the default position is that you don't interfere with the child's appearance unless you need to. So the onus is on the person who wants it cut to give a good reason why.

This is what I've said. No one has a reason they can justify their opinion with.
Having long hair also doesn't change his gender, he still has a penis! Not that he is remotely aware that there's such a thing as boys or girls yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:52

Dancingwithumberellas · 28/10/2022 17:25

Don’t cut it if you don’t want to. I buckled to the pressure of others to cut my DS hair before I was ready, I could have cried afterwards. I still resent the person who pushed me the most to get it cut, and it’s years later!

I most definitely know the resentment would happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 17:54

SkylightSkylight · 28/10/2022 17:31

@Manchestermummax3 he has gorgeous eyes.

If you fancy a holiday with DH I could come & play and cuddle him for a week!

I'd be threatening the loss of dangly bits if DH so much as looked sideways at a hairdressers! no way would it be getting cut!

Haha! Booking holiday right now 🤣
I know DH won't do it, the fallout will be too much. He just eye rolls or gives a smug 'see, I'm right' look when another person comments.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 28/10/2022 17:56

TBH I don't understand the reluctance to cut children's hair. DD was born with a lot of hair that never stopped growing. I cut it regularly because it was getting in her eyes, and washing it was a PITA.

StopGo · 28/10/2022 17:57

My DGS is five and a smidge. He has the most glorious blonde tumbling curls. No one thinks he is a girl and our lovely lad knows exactly who he is.

Original poster
Manchestermummax3 · 28/10/2022 18:00

RampantIvy · 28/10/2022 17:56

TBH I don't understand the reluctance to cut children's hair. DD was born with a lot of hair that never stopped growing. I cut it regularly because it was getting in her eyes, and washing it was a PITA.

Of course, if it is bothering your child & you also want to then absolutely.
I'm not judgy either way, I guess its just personal preference whilst they are too young to have an opinion themselves :)

OP posts:
ItHasTheJuice · 28/10/2022 18:01

My son is autistic and developed a massive fear of haircuts when he was a toddler and it was physically impossible to take him to get it cut... he would SCREAM and thrash about. It grew pretty long- past his shoulders by age 5.

it looked fine but my goodness people, especially family members, made the biggest deal about it and lots of comments about us ‘allowing’ him to grow it long and just non-stop mentioning it. Something about boys with long hair really riles people up??

He is 7 now and loves having it cut so it’s short, but I kind of miss his lovely long hair!